To have summer holiday tv days

[Cranberryavocado]

I work from home and autistic with PDA profile DC (8) has refused holiday club. Was booked in to a quiet tech club, went for an hour and then escaped and i was called as he didnt want to be there so thats that.
No holidays booked as we are saving this year though we have done loads of activities and some overnight theme park trips. But he won't play at other peoples houses or go to any group activities.
So now on my work from home days its TV, gaming, garden. I can't supervise more adventurous activities, things like crafting need 1 on 1 support as he gets frustrated and stressed. He won't read on his own or really do anything on his own.
Aibu to let him eatch the tv for most of some days. I am exhausted from work and also the need for 1 on 1 for any activities and when we do do anything it is exhausting due to the high level of support needed to do the task.

Do what you have to do to get by! No judgement from me!

I can’t help but think it would be terrible for your child’s physical and mental health.

Will they really not read or even look at a book next to you whilst you work. Or surely there’s some form of crafting them can do next to you?

No, sadly. I have tried. My first child would. My second refuses. And will not do an activity alone, as in get on with it quietly without me actually doing it with him . I have to do a lot of meetings and data analysis, if he is next to me he will not be quiet. The PDA means if I say please be quiet, mummy is on a call he will say NO. My first child went to all the sports and holiday clubs. My second will not go to any. As I said, he was booked into one he chose and was looking forward to, but lasted 1 hour . We looked at crafting kits on the internet again today and he doesnt want to do any of them. I have here already moasics, paint, potion kits, lego, bravelets, stones and those pens you paint them with. We are not short of stuff here. He just wont do any of it without me.

OP, when I was a child, much of the summer holidays were spent watching TV.

If you've found a solution that works for you, then you've found a solution that works for you.

Besides, what's your alternative? Even if every single person said YABU, what could you do differently? Does it matter what others think?

You know your child better than anyone, if you have to do this to get by for a few days and he is fine with this, I don't see any harm? It is only temporary. Some children don't like crafts either.

I have just had to do this for 2 days recently. My son was booked into hol club but came down with an awful cough and there was no way I could send him to a football club running around all day coughing, plus he would just be spreading germs about to other kids.. He ended up having 2 relaxing days of TV/games etc whilst I had to work and it was fine. I don't think the odd day here and there will be a massive issue.

I’m not sure what else you can do tbh!

Ive done this before with DS (generally when it’s been meant to be exH’s time with him and he’s flaked out for some reason, or in the pandemic). There’s not much you can do if you have to work and your child won’t just entertain themselves.

Can you do anything in the evening on these days?

It's fine. My youngest DC has no SEN but absolutely will not amuse themselves for longer than 5 minutes - they are 7. There have been holiday clubs etc but not every day so some days they have just watched tv & played xbox whilst I've been wfh. It's not the end of the world - don't beat yourself up about it.

There’s nothing else for it. I had a similar situation with my DD when she was 10, started running away from organised childcare and she too needed a lot of (constant) 1:1 support for just about everything. Sometimes you just need to do what you can. He’s safe and cared for, which is a good place to be.

I think there is so much guilt around 'screen time' now that it makes us feel like terrible parents. I was practically raised by screens in the 90s and I've turned out fine. There is so much pressure to be out doing something that costs loads of money and that most kids don't even want to be doing!

Honestly mate you're doing fine. We all are. Don't sweat it. I'm sure you would notice if your child needed something he wasn't getting.

I'm in my 30s and was barely parented in the 90s summer holidays so they were a loop of The Sims, Age of Empires, get motion sickness from the graphics, sometimes puke, go for a lie down, play PS1 once recovered. But I did feel refreshed and ready to learn when the new school year started so perhaps as a way to regulate it wasn't so bad after all...

Do what you have to.

My DS needed days at home just chilling out. Too much activity across a week was over-stimulating and he would have meltdowns if I didn't factor in quiet downtime regularly.

These days were often TV days. Tiny Pop, Pop, Cbeebies and CBBC on rotation.

It's fine.

Do what you have to do girl xx

If it helps, me and dd are watching will and grace and munching on bourbons and having a lovely time

Ah my soul sister! Nothing will ever match the excitement of a new Sims pack being released!

‘Good enough’ parenting is fine.

Look at it from a different angle - you mentioned gaming so are there any different games you could get him? I’m not suggesting anything as I’m completely ignorant about these things, but other people might be able to suggest things?

Can you pay a local teenager to come over for a couple of hours each day to do activities with him?

For an 8 year old autistic child with a PDA profile?

Seriously, OP, TV is fine.