Is this okay for a 7.5 year old girl?

31 replies

BengalBangle · 15/08/2025 15:20

Prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable, as I think my perspective may be skewed from having been abused as a child:

My twin DDs - 7.5 - are currently away with their father.

He's been pretty cool re: sending me photos and videos from days out.

I've been a tad uncomfortable with photos of DD1 being on the beach and in outdoor parks, wearing just her underwear (for context, she wears 'boyshorts' (or, whatever they are called), rather than briefs)).

Am I being over-protective/unreasonable to think that this isn't okay and that, at her age, she should have her chest covered in public?

I haven't mentioned this to anyone, nor will I speak to the girls' Dad about this, as I'm concerned that my own experience of being abused at this age by my Mum's boyfriend has distorted my perspective.

Thought I'd ask the hive mind and take feedback on the chin. 😬

OP posts:

Original poster

BengalBangle · 15/08/2025 23:54

TheOnlyThing · 15/08/2025 16:58

I’d probably be more worried about sunburn but we are super fair and only have to glance at the sun before turning pink.

Similarly, I only have to think of the sun and my prominent nose turns red!
My ex is the least sensible person I know, but he's pretty good about limiting time in the sun. His family are quite fair Spaniards, with dark hair, but pale-ish skin and have blue/green eyes, so are used to staying out of the sun!

OP posts:

LouH1981 · 16/08/2025 00:36

I wouldn’t be happy with it personally. Too many wrong uns out there who would love to see / or have the opportunity to take photos of a topless child.
It’s such a shame we have to think this way but I just don’t trust people.

AgathaCristina · 16/08/2025 00:44

Apollonia1 · 15/08/2025 17:05

Since you said they’re Spanish, I think it’s fine.
I used to live in Spain and young girls always just wore bikini bottoms, so it’s the cultural norm.

It's very common in Spain

MuchTooTired · 16/08/2025 00:50

I also have 7.5 year old twins, but mine are b/g. Torso wise, both look the same, I doubt if anyone were to look at just their torsos they’d be able to ping their sex. Their Dad hates them being topless outside, I’m not a fan but have less of an objection to it, and both kids love being in as little amount of clothes as I’ll let them get away with. It’ll change soon enough, my DD won’t be able to go without a top on for much longer.

SwingandaPrayer · 16/08/2025 01:14

I live and teach in Spain. We have kids who turn up for swimming lessons at that age in just bikini bottoms and no one cares.

DiscoBob · 16/08/2025 10:30

BengalBangle · 15/08/2025 23:19

My child's comfort is definitely paramount in this instance, so all good on that front.
I haven't suggested anywhere that the nipples of my 7 year old child were indecent, nor those of any individual, prepubescent or otherwise.
I said in my original post that I wouldn't be mentioning it to my DD's father and that my perspective was likely skewed by being abused - for context, raped - by my mother's boyfriend du jour.

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I'm sorry for what happened to you. X

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