Dog Sitting

[Goldengirl123]

AIBU? I don’t want to look after other people’s dogs when they go on holiday. I love my own dogs but I don’t want to look after other people’s. I think it’s a cheek and I always seem to get landed with them

You know you don't have to say yes, right?

Yes but I’m just put in the position and I find it hard to say no

You don't get landed with them, they ask and you agree. If you said no they would make other arrangements.

Well, until you can dig deep and say no, there’s not really anything anyone can say to you 🤷‍♀️

Say your dog is finding it stressful having other dogs in the house so you’ve decided to start saying no to people.

Point them towards Trusted Housesitters. Many sitters do pets too. They basically move in to your house. Less stress for the pooches

“Not this time, you need to find someone else”

But please etc

”No I need to focus on my own dogs it’s too much for me”

You are mean, etc

Their reaction to your no is their problem not yours

I mean you can say no. I wont even have my DC dogs over night it would be bedlam i watch then during the day occasionally but .unless it was an emergency no overnight or holiday cover .

Well that is on you really you are making yourself miserable not the dog owners.

We won’t, either. Have cats and it would distress them. They understand perfectly and make arrangements accordingly (often when they come to stay with us and the cats 😁).

Really, if people can’t afford to cover such situations, they shouldn’t take pets on. Expecting friends or family to pick up the slack isn’t on,

Say it is too much for you and your dogs just keep saying that, maybe tell whoever they are soon so they are aware for next time.

I agree , tbf my kids don't expect although we have pre arranged times that i have them, but i have my own dog but I don't want to have anymore for a week or whenever.

Christ, get a
backbone. Just say no!

I wish I could. It’s not random neighbours it’s family & friends. I just get annoyed that they put me in this position

"No, I can't". See? It's easy.

They haven't put you in that position you have made yourself available to them. They asked you immediately said yes to all of them.

I’d just say sorry it’s getting too much. If they get the hump that’s their problem and they’ll get over it. I have two dogs myself, but wouldn’t have any others here. I also refused when my sister asked if I could go and stay at hers whilst she was on holiday and look after hers. I also won’t have visiting dogs because of my cat, my dogs are fine with him as they grew up with the cat. But if my sister wants to visit, her dogs (or anyone else’s) can’t come over as it’s not fair/safe for my cat.

thats on you.

No, cant accomodate that, you'll have to find someone else. Dont include the word sorry, youre not sorry, sorry invites discussion, its not a discussion, its a No.

I agree with a Pp saying sorry means it is up for discussion.

But it's not for others to manage your people pleasing.

They probably don't even know you feel that way.

I've asked, and been asked, for favours and its never occurred to me to feel put upon. I say yes or no. It's not a big deal.

Absolutely. If you find it difficult in person, WhatsApp. “No, I don’t want to”. It will take a very extraordinarily thick skinned person to argue with that.

Who looks after your dogs if you ever need help?

19% of people say they have no one who can check on their dog, 28% of people have no one who can look after their dog overnight and 37% have no one who could look after their dog for a week- and this disproportionately affects older people.

Whilst yes, your dog is your responsibility a little bit of help from others in life here and there makes the world a much easier place. I'd urge you to find little ways you can help even if it isn't dog sitting for a week.

To be fair from the original post, it does sound like OP has been helping out and it’s been taken for granted. She’s not said she’d refuse an emergency.

As Dog owners ourselves, we’ve found a place where the dogs stay in someone’s home. They are licensed and we pay them. A lovely older couple. Also have a lady through my breed specific group who does the same. With a bit of research it’s possible to find these resources. Also my DH, DD & I arrange our diaries so dogs aren’t left. We also accept having a dog means we don’t have the freedoms we might have otherwise. All these things are part of responsible dog ownership.

You don't say if your efforts are ever reciprocated so I'll assume not.

I would send messages out in the form of a general announcement to friends and family so it is not directed at anyone specifically and you don't have to say no in person.

After a busy and sometimes stressful summer for me and [dog] I have decided that I will no longer do any dog sitting for friends and family. I am too busy / old / lazy 😁to continue to do this and I wanted to message now to ensure that you know you will need to make alternative arrangements going forward. While it's been sometimes a pleasure, it has become too burdensome for me and stressful for [dog] and I think it is better to simply say no to everyone rather than cause resentment. [add insert if you are prepared to be asked in emergencies for a few hours]

They aren’t putting you in a position, they’re asking you a question. And you basically lie to them and then complain that they don’t read your mind.

Adults have to do lots of things they find hard. Just tell the truth