Sorry I don’t have a great deal of sympathy, but becuase of your current attitude to taxation…
…I had kids in nursery during 1995-2003 and back then there was no free childcare for anyone, other than a voucher scheme for tax deduction (and I don’t get that) . Even back then cost of child care exceeded are monthly mortgage payments by 2.5 times.
I have been higher rate tax payer for years, but only just over half of your salary. And my exh couldn’t work due to illness. Having my sole wage being entire household income (vs us both being able to earn half the same total household income each) “cost” us dearly in tax and ni- you can’t move PA so we were in effect ~£6000 worse off due to tax and ni than a couple on same amount with even split.
however difficult that was, I didn’t gripe to other. I was a higher rate tax payer and put me in a shed load better position than others. We had debt, large debt when kids were little becuase of this.
however, kids are in nursery for a short time in your life. It is the very most expensive time of your life (or used to be before government started providing sole support which I am enthusiastically in favour of) and you just need to get through it and out the other end. In due course, kids will leave home and then it’s time to pump all that spare cash into pensions and mortgage. And to take those long awaited fancy foreign holidays, or buy a nice new car.
Imhe, You need to start thinking about taxation in a different way. Be proud of what you are contributing to the state, and support you provide to families less well off, instead of burning up with resentment. you are in a tiny minority of population of woman who have managed to match the male privileged wages and you should be extraordinary proud of that. I’m bloody proud that I have probably paid more tax than likes of Rees Moggs of this world who have huge wealth and fiddle their way to avoid tax. I am cool with paying taxes, even IHT if I don’t end up in care home. I am at least doing what I can to help the younger generations in need of support by governemnt, and proving up our ailing nhs.
sure, you may need to cut your budget spending, less holidays, eating out and even reduce your pension payments , but that’s the parenthood penalty and always has been and affects EVERYONE no matter how little they have. Revise your views, enjoy your children’s childhood, it doesn’t take a lot of the extras you probably have had up till now.
in due course, it will settle out. You’ll manage just fine, and more than manage.
remener whilst some folks are getting “free” childcare, you never ever know what future has in store. You may need more support from taxation revenue to help with long term illness, unemployment, educational needs, or care home costs etc over your lifetime. It is, thank goodness, the whole point of a social care system.