To not really enjoy life

[gemgem57]

Let me say. I am not depressed or suicidal or anything like that.
I just find life extremely boring. I have a relatively good job which pays above average. Nice home, nothing special but adequately sized and comfortable.
Yet I feel I’m just surviving. As in there is no fun.
I don’t have kids but don’t particularly want any.
Don’t have a partner either so maybe that’s the problem?
I know people always say they have a full, happy life with no partner or kids. My question is how?
we are social beings so how do you live genuinely happy without?
I just feel excruciatingly lonely. 😢

I am sorry you feel like that. You obviously need to find a new adventure! Travel? Languages? Study? New career? Hobby? Sport? Animals? Voluntary work? Music? Choir? Orchestra?

There is something just waiting for you, and you just need to find it

Do you have many or any friends? That’s where I get a lot of my joy from. Whether it’s hiking together or just sitting in somebody’s garden with wine laughing an evening away.

If you’d like to make new friends and give yourself a boost, activities and hobbies like Longnightmoon suggests are a great place to start. As well as bonding with others over a shared interest, learning a new skill or discovering what you can achieve is brilliant for confidence, self-esteem and wellbeing.

You don't mention family, friends or socializing. Do you not have any human contacts?

Do you work, attend any groups/clubs have any hobbies. You cant just sit in your house and wonder why your not meeting people. Another option is talk to your gp about social prescribing.

I felt somewhat like this.

I moved to Australia on a working holiday visa. Life has vastly improved.

I feel the same. It's just going through the motions every day. Nothings terrible but nothings fun or exciting either!

What else do you do apart from work?

You have to put yourself out there.

In the early years of my relationship with DH he worked a shift pattern where I'd go days without seeing him. It was when I realised that I spoke with nobody from 5pm until 8am for days on end that I did something about it. A friend of mine introduced me to volunteering with Girlguiding. Initially I stayed with just the girls I was leading but then I branched out. Joined other units on top and went on my tod to training courses and camps. I'm actually trained as a fencing instructor (only time you can get away with poking kids). I dropped out once my second child was born but he is now old enough to be at Squirrel Scouts so I've switched to being a scouting leader and will be having adventures with him soon. I also help at the school PTA so have variety there.

Personally for me I am very sociable. Whilst I grew up where I live now I moved away for a number of years. All my close friends are scattered around the country. So I don't do weekend brunch or walks etc. For me I needed something local to get involved in that wasn't work or doing school runs each day.

You don’t need a partner or kids to have a fulfilling life OP but you do need something, can you try and find some hobbies? I have found myself bored (and that’s with a DH and two DC) so joined the gym and now am a bit obsessed, I’m sure you could find something that could capture your interest there are so many things out there to get involved with.

I highly recommend volunteering as a way to meet people and do something good at the same time.

Or maybe something sociable out of your comfort zone, such as joining a choir?

As others have said, do you have a network of family/friends? That is I’d say crucially important if you don’t have a partner or children.

We have friends who are single and openly say they love their lives and have very full lives, they have lots of friends, plans most nights even if that is people coming to them for dinner/they go there, lots of hobbies/clubs etc.

You know, I think having no or very few friends or family is tolerable as long as you have your interests that really absorb you.

I haven’t got any yet. I like the gym. Am thinking about getting back into horse riding but also want to try something new like learning to sew or upholstery. Or even a small business.

I really think it’s crucial we nurture this side of us instead of the functional stuff. And then your network grows and your interests expand. Not overnight but slowly.