How to be less reactive/crazy?

[Amicrazyyy]

I know my biggest flaw is I’m very reactive. In my defence I never start anything and I’m very polite and well -mannered but I do over react to situations. I wa t to stop doing this - how can I? Some examples: a couple were in my driveway taking pictures a few weeks ago I came out and asked them what they’re doing and asked them to leave. I know my DH would make polite conversation but I just got triggered. My child tells me another child hit or pushed him and I immediately contact the mother (or school if I don’t know her) to let her know what happened.

I just don’t want too live in this state of hyper vigilance.

@Amicrazyyy so the actual issue is your DH is a tool and never has your back?

If you are regularly feeling bad about the way you've handled situations after the event you're reacting rather than responding and probably need to take some time to think first.

I do actually think a couple of the situations you describe you've had an exaggerated response to but I'm pretty laid back.

Imagine reacting perfectly normally to
those situations you listed @Amicrazyyy and being told you’re crazy.

You need a serious talk with your husband. I suspect this is the tip of a dysfunctional marriage-shaped iceberg

Maybe you are just worrying if you are too much, which is common female thing to worry about 😆, or if you were harsh - doesn't really matter as long as you were right!

Are you me? 🤣

You don't sound crazy. You need to work on feeling guilty for defending your child more than work on being reactive.

You sound similar to my partner. I find it excruciating. I just walk away and pretend I'm not with him. I have talked to him but he doesn't change. I see it as a defensive strategy but it's still very wearing. Example recently was a bloke sat in his car outside our house making a phone call. Partner went out of our house and told him to move on.

I don't think these are overreactions.

In my opinion, lots of people underreact because they're scared of rocking the boat.

It's a strength to have boundaries, enact them, be assertive, and stand true to your convictions.

How is that ‘excruciating’?

The trick is to wait 24 or 48 hours before communicating

Yet another example of a woman who will contort herself to fit her husband’s expectations, while he not only doesn’t change to suit hers but aggressively projects himself on her.

You’re not at all reactive or crazy. Your DH is pushing you to be what he wants you to be (passive and a doormat) so that he can be happy. To the point of asking strangers how to be less crazy, when really if you’d been a man nothing you’ve given examples of would warrant a second thought.

Tell him that’s his choice to react that way, but he doesn’t get to dictate how you react…

nothing you describe sounds bad! You seem totally normal.