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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mothers!!

18 replies

Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 16:50

Hey all I am just in need of a vent!
My DM is being an absolute nightmare, we've gone on a break by the coast with the kids and I asked her if she wanted to come. She did, so booked everything and been here a couple of days, got a few more left!
She is being so miserable and unreasonable. I arranged an activity for DC 10 and 14. Mum knew didn't want to attend, said walking was too long so planned an afternoon for themselves. We decided we would set off together. Well that was the worst idea she complained, shouted that we were selfish. I offered to book her a taxi she refused then stormed off (slowly) across the road and ignored us. When she dissappeared from view we phoned her, she ignored calls. We walk back look around shes gone
So we end up going as the kids needed to have their fun despite her weird dramatics over what, I'm not quite sure.
We get back later that day, she ignores us and no word of a lie stares at a window for 2 hours so she doesn't have to acknowledge us. Ignored the kids also. Its so strange, on our first morning my newborn didn't sleep very well, so I wanted to sleep in and she didnt, she screamed and shouted that if she eats alone people will think shes an arse and shes never coming anywhere with us again. Completely unreasonable and weird. She has form but this behaviour really shocked me and I wish we didn't invite her. Its like shes got a split personality sometimes. Its so unhealthy, this is not the first time I've wanted to have less to do with her. Its like she gets jealous or thinks the world should revolve around her. She always expects help and respect and she doesn't give either.
Rant over! But honestly I'm fed up of her behaviour.

OP posts:
AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 14/08/2025 16:51

Send her home!

Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 17:52

Im going to suggest if shes not enjoying herself, then may be best to go home early.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 14/08/2025 17:54

Screaming, shouting and ignoring are all pretty childish things from a grown woman. How old is she? What is her problem?

pictoosh · 14/08/2025 17:57

"I arranged an activity for DC 10 and 14. Mum knew didn't want to attend, said walking was too long so planned an afternoon for themselves. We decided we would set off together. Well that was the worst idea she complained, shouted that we were selfish."

I don't quite understand what happened there? Sorry if I'm being thick.

BunniB · 14/08/2025 17:59

Wow. My db’s gf stormed off on a family trip to a theme park once and we couldn’t find her for four hours.

People can be a bit weird.

Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 18:04

@pictoosh i didn't understand either. She wanted to do her own thing, then when we started making our way she just went off on one!

OP posts:
Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 18:04

@BunniB very weird. I'm still confused!

OP posts:
Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 18:07

@Screamingabdabz she is in her early 60s! And she is known to have tantrums sometimes..but this was just extreme. I did try to address it but as I said she looked out a window for hours and pretended we weren't there. My 10 year old doesn't even do this

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 14/08/2025 18:10

Its unreasonable obviously but you know this.

I guess it depends how out of character it is. If its much worse than usual could it be a sign of some cognitive issue or depression? It sounds like there could be more to it than meets the eye.

I certainly don't think you should tolerate this though. If you're happy that there's nothing else going on I'd send her packing. Not remotely reasonable to expect to ruin a family holiday with these sorts of dramatics.

Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 18:16

Its like the dramatics are for attention! She has a history but this was definitely worse and there was not 1 thing to cause a problem. Its like she is deliberately trying to ruin the time away. I'm not letting my kids trip get spoilt by her behaviour. I've actually had enough. I have spoken well tried to about her behaviour and if theres anything else bothering her. Believe me when I say she is very intelligent and independent and there is no reason for this.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 14/08/2025 18:22

Grinnbear · 14/08/2025 17:52

Im going to suggest if shes not enjoying herself, then may be best to go home early.

This. Tell her that she clearly isn't enjoying herself so it would be better for everyone if she went home. You need to concentrate on the children.

whistlesandbells · 14/08/2025 18:55

There would be no further holidays together.

Grinnbear · 15/08/2025 00:24

I spoke to her this evening, calmly and asked if she was having a good time and told her my children, her grand children were uncomfortable and didn't like her outbursts.
She was not pleased and somehow tried to blame me and accuse me of being selfish.
Honestly I am over it.
She'll hopefully be going home tomorrow. Then I can finally enjoy my time with the kids in peace.

OP posts:
PlioTalk · 15/08/2025 09:38

Ugh. My mother throws similar tantrums so I get it!

Hopefully she does go home so you can try to enjoy your holiday.

Lobelia123 · 15/08/2025 09:49

Never, ever allow this manipulative immature woman to spoil your and your childrens holidays again. I would never invite her anywhere again that I could not calmly stand up and leave when she started her nonsense. Good for you for bringing it up and sending her packing.What a selfish and unpleasant woman she is!

Grinnbear · 15/08/2025 21:29

Just to update. She went this morning and I had a lovely day at the pleasure beach with DC.
Im sure there will be a tantrum via phone at somepoint but honestly I don't care!
Thanks everyone!
She will not holiday with us again in future.
She is very selfish and wants the world to revolve around her at all times.
Why do mothers behave this way!! Its beyond me

OP posts:
pictoosh · 16/08/2025 08:22

Mothers don't, but self-absorbed people do and they come along in every guise.

I'm glad she has gone and I really hope you enjoy the rest of your time away without someone else controlling the atmosphere. It's horrible behaviour but these people feel perfectly entitled to do it.

ftp · 12/12/2025 12:41

Mine always did the silent hurt look and withdrew if I did anything she did not like with snide remarks like "if YOU want to" in a sniffy tone of voice. I got hardened to it and learned to ignore, so she changed tactics and would tell me of all the wonderful things my sister did... Luckily, I knew my sister did nothing for her.

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