Husband is coming up to 50 and I’m feeling overwhelmed by trying to make it ‘special’, with some of his friends putting gentle pressure that some ideas aren’t special enough. I’m taking him on a holiday pre birthday, then to a luxury hotel with the dog for the actual day. People have asked what I have planned before we leave for the hotel around lunchtime and what to do when we’re there. I was just planning out being a relaxed day, open some presents, lovely breakfast/brunch at home, then relax at the hotel. It feels not good enough.
Then we are throwing a party at the house the following weekend, with lots of friends and family coming. Again, it’s becoming bigger than it set out to be - am I hiring a DJ, bar staff, lighting. It’s was just going to be a beautiful but simple get together with some good food, selection of drinks, music and good company. I’m feeling overwhelmed now and am spending money I don’t want to because some friends have said it’s not special enough - so now the house party is becoming like a venue party (which was ruled out but somewhere along the line the story is ‘the money you would have spent on that can go on this’). I want it to be special but I think ‘special’ has perhaps started to mean different things for us. I’m feeling not good enough and judged. Friends are kind - I think they know my husband well (more into ‘the look’) and just want to help me. I’ve put so much thought and money into this all and it just all feels not good enough.