Positive stories from semi-rural living

[Sarahlovessandwiches]

Does anyone have any positive stories for bringing up kids semi-rurally? We currently live 4 miles (10 min drive) from the nearest town. Can’t walk anywhere from ours (other than public footpaths over fields etc). 1.5 miles to the nearest village. So we have to drive everywhere. Kids are 6 & 9 at the moment and I am so worried about them not being able to walk to friends / secondary when the time comes. If we move, need to make decision soon as I would rather relocate to the city we previously lived in (40 mins away) rather than just into the town that’s 4 miles away as in all honesty, it’s not really my cup of tea. But moving would be quite a huge upheaval and the guilt of that is weighing heavy. So aware of the downsides for the kids of not having full independence so looking for positive outcomes from anyone who has brought up teens / young adults living a little way out that they have been ok! If not, as secondary school applications loom in a year or so, we need to put wheels in motion to sell up and move!

What made you leave the city for where you currently live?
in a city, would you allow your kids as much freedom to walk / public transport to a school? What’s the city and area like that you might move to?

I grew up semi-rurally in what sounds to be a pretty much identical situation to yours. It was bloody awful for the reasons you mention.

My parents moved us to the nearby town (on the outskirts of a city) when I was about 13. I wish they had done it sooner and I then spent my entire teenage years on buses to the city - which is where I am living and raising my children.

What's the road like to the town? When they're older will cycling be an option at least some of the time?

There might be a school bus that goes through your village they can use? Is there public transport?

I’m actually also considering this. We live in London and I’d likely a slightly slower pace of live but worry about my children having independence therefore thinking of small market towns, eg Henley, Wargrave etc. I see these houses on the outskirts of them though and they look spectacular.

I don't understand why people say they need to move for a 'slower pace of life'.

Surely you just do what you choose to do wherever you live?

Plus will 'not London' be 'slower' if things take longer, are further away, fewer amenities like deliveries, public transport less frequent etc?

I can't relate at all. Bringing my kids up in a rural place, the same place I was brought up as it goes. If they need to be somewhere and there isn't a bus I'll give them a lift. Two drive now. One will soon. One has just graduated and has come home. She's in no rush to move back to a city. The other has chosen to stay at home and do a modern apprenticeship in the small town near us. The youngest will go to Uni but wants to get a job at home afterwards. I could never live anywhere else, I did for 13 years, glad to be home.

I grew up rurally - very similar sounding to your current situation. I absolutely loved it, but was very much (and still am!) a horse riding, dog walk loving country bumpkin through my whole childhood and teen years, so it suited me down to a tee! (Tea?!). I lived in a city as a student and then for a few years afterwards and I absolutely loathed it, would escape to the countryside every chance I got. My poor husband, he’s a city boy at heart but has become a country boy now!

I live somewhere that sounds fairly similar. It's a bit of a chore driving them to school each day, but I chose to move out here (we all like it though - much more space both in the house and around us).

I do miss being able to pop out to the newsagent, or taking a walk (that isn't the exact same walk down the exact same country lanes I did most days in lockdown), or getting food delivered - but not enough to go back to a 2 1/2 bed semi crowded in with everyone else. It probably helps that I grew up rurally so this is normal to me.

My eldest only has a couple of years until he can drive, they're lockdown kids so they do a lot of socialising online anyway, but otherwise I just drop them into town (the 30 mins away town where their school is, not the 10mins away town where I do the food shop) and pick them back up again, as even getting a bus is 1 mile walk and one an hour, and I just don't feel that cycling is safe (eldest is dyspraxic so a bit wobbly for country lanes that have lorries and vans on them)

My friend moved closer in though, and loves it. She always found it a lot harder living out here, and her kids want to do more of the shopping centre socialising stuff than mine do so it works better for her since now they can just walk.

Everybody enjoys different things, there is no right answer. Your kids might enjoy being rural kids or they might not. You might find driving everywhere worth it for the freedom and peace of living rurally or you might find it a pain in the neck.

We are what estate agents would describe as semi rural. Small village with no shops and a rural bus service over in a blue moon. For us it is perfect. We are surrounded by woods and fields and we are directly on a lovely network of paths. We're a mile from the next village which has local shops and Dr and primary schools but because you can walk down the bridleway to get there we never drive so we are not car dependent for things like bread and milk. There is a somewhat unreliable bus service from that village.

One of my kids is now an adult, one older teen and one younger teen. None has ever voiced a wish to live in a town or city. They have appreciated the freedom to roam. I think it is the safe walk to the next village and the bus that makes the difference, they can go in to town independently.

Nearest village miles away, can't walk anywhere? That sounds rural to me, not semi rural.

We live semi-rurally, as in we look out over farmland and are surrounded by woodland and common land. But there's a bus at the end of our street and a train station and shops less than 10 mins away. DC found our village very boring but they could jump on the bus or train into nearby towns to meet up with friends as they became teens, and they could wander down to the shop for an ice cream or cold drink on hot days when bored. To me, that is the good balance once they are teens. So I'd move.

We lived somewhere like that for many years, from when I was 14. My parents did a lot of driving! From sixth form onwards, all the boys got motorbikes (and one girl did) and we all learned to drive as soon as. A couple of the boys became epic cyclists 😄

At weekends, friends would often stay overnight (to avoid parents having to come out late). Having half a dozen young people in sleeping bags around the sitting room was not unusual.

I'd say we are similar in being 3 miles away from the nearest town. We can walk to it but during the winter the ford comes over the footpath so we get blocked off then. We do however have a primary school, shop, bus stop and a church. DH grew up in a small town and myself in a city suburbs so here is unusual for us. Kids are currently 6 & 4 and the eldest loves pre bedtime evening walks exploring all the footpaths at the moment. I don't think we will stay here forever, may move if the eldest is smart enough to go to grammar as we are in catchment. Or wait until kids are coming up to 16 and move closer to any of the colleges they want to go to. This would put us on the outskirts of the nearest city. I think DH would be happy staying rural but I am conscious of us needing closer amenities as we get older.

Check out internet providers that offer reliable connections with decent download and upload speeds to keep all your devices running smoothly. Children in rural areas with stable internet have more options for entertainment, whether they're spending time indoors or enjoying the outdoors. Making friends and socializing, however, often comes down to their personalities and individual interests.

I grew up on a farm in a rural area, close to a small village with few amenities, but just a short drive from a town that had everything we needed. It never bothered me because I worked informally on the farm and enjoyed a social life outside of it. We didn’t have internet back then, but with it, the world would have been within reach. We used to bike to primary school, just two miles from the farm in the village, and later to secondary school, five miles away in town. On bad weather days, we would, of course, get a car ride.

Raising children in London can be hard, you have waiting lists for everything. When tennis or swimming lessons are released you have to move. The schooling system is very competitive. So when I mean slower I mean more relaxed.