Not wanting to attend wedding

[Catzmatz123]

I’m in a friend group of a trio 8 years and one getting married.

I found out through social media the bride ask our friend to be her bridesmaid and even though we talk actively on a group chat planning day out so no one left out she didn’t feel the need to talk to me .

AITA for being hurt by this and do u reckon this is a sign that the friendship is over .

Not enough info. Can you explain how you all met, what the dynamics are etc

I was in a friendship group of 3 where one asked the other to be bridesmaid. I really wasn’t bothered. I was pregnant at time tho so could possibly see that as being a reason.
when the other friend got married neither of us were bridesmaids and I remember the other was offended.
personally I would prefer not to be bridesmaid ever. Too much hassle.
My wedding was tiny and I just had stepdaughter as bridesmaid- nobody outside family to ceremony and meal- then huge party in evening.

To clarify more mine was immediate family only. Otherwise it would have been hundreds which we didn’t want.
Enjoy not having the bridesmaid hassle.

The bride is closer to the other friend than you, it’s not a big deal.

No it’s not over.

Yes you absolutely have the right to feel hurt and she is in the wrong for not speaking to you. But it doesn’t mean that the friendship is not meaningful to her and that she doesn’t value you. I’d see it as she wanted a certain number of bridesmaids of could only afford a certain number of bridesmaids, chose the person she feels closest to and is crap at having awkward conversations. She knows you will be hurt and is trying to avoid that. But the result is you still feel hurt.

There are lots of people who find that their bridesmaids are no longer in their lives a few years after the wedding. Friendships are not static. They change. The choice of bridesmaid is a reflection of a friendship at one particular moment. If she is otherwise a good friend and you value her then I would not throw the friendship away. If you do, you’ll most likely lose both friends.

Take a step back to process if that’s what you need And I’m sorry. It must be painful. But it doesn’t mean the friendship is automatically over.

would you be willing to raise it with her? You could say something like I know it’s hard to choose a wedding party and I just wanted to let you know that I realise that and I don’t want this to come between us. Then see what she says.

Hi we all met in school been friends every since went college and work at one point with the bride

Me and the bridesmaid wasn’t aware that she felt closer to her then me , I’m only upset as she didn’t speak to me about it and I’ve always made her feel included even at my sons birth just really confused to why she didn’t mention it in the group chat but I found out through social media .

Me and the bridesmaid wasn’t aware that she felt closer to her then me , I’m only upset as she didn’t speak to me about it and I’ve always made her feel included even at my sons birth just really confused to why she didn’t mention it in the group chat but I found out through social media .

If she only wants one bridesmaid she has to choose one friend. No.one sane thinks that this therefore means she doesn't really like her other friends.

Whatever neediness/fomo in your head that is making you upset about this probably stems from the same fundamental characteristics that prompted her to decide not to choose you. That's a "you" problem. Maybe get some counselling to help you work out how to have a more grownup attitude in future.

If you only want to have friendships with people who will always pick you over and above their other friends, or will prioritise your personal feelings and help you manage your emotional responses to things, you are going to end up quite lonely. The friendship is only over if you choose to end it, she hasn't done anything wrong.