Is it okay to feel like this?

[SecretSloth99]

I think I’m done with mat leave….its been almost 10 months, and I’m now starting to struggle.

The baby groups all stop over the summer holiday, my husband works long(ish) hours two days a week and more normal hours the rest of the week, and has had quite a lot of extra curricular stuff going on. I’ve kept myself super busy with classes every day and now I feel lost without them. I know there are many people much worse off than me in terms of partner working, and obviously single parents are absolute super heroes. But we do not have a village and I’ve barely done anything for myself in 10 months.

I’ve gone from feeling so devastated about sending her to nursery, to feeling kind of excited, and looking forward to going back to work…

I adore my bubba, but I think I may have some PPD creeping in as well (I do have therapy booked for this week and have trying to keep myself busy). This stage I have found the hardest - crawling and standing but not able to walk or communicate.

My feelings are all over the place, I’m an anxious mess some days, and I’m just hoping I’m not alone in this. The guilt and the anxiety and who even knows what other feelings are real!

I’m excited to have some therapy because it feels positive to talk things through and I do think it keeps the feelings at bay.

Yes of course your feelings are totally valid - raising a baby is so so hard and you give so much of yourself to them for so little return at that age that it’s totally draining and leaves you craving adult company, mental stimulation, hands free time for your own hobbies etc.

I was desperate to get back to work after having both my kids and nursery is great for them to make friends and socialise and play.

The fact you even feel bad about it means you’re such a good and dedicated mum already!

God yes. You don't stop needing adult interaction just because you have a baby. Sure, you're lucky, you have a beautiful little one that you love, but it's bloody hard sometimes. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about not feeling ecstatic the whole time.

Yes it's okay to feel this way - it's also a sign that something needs to change.

Baby groups stopping over summer I also found hard! What do you kiss most about the.. did you swap numbers with any other mums?

This is a good time to make sure you have regular hobbies established - your husband needs to cover this or arrange a babysitter if he can't parent at that time.

I was quite happy to go back to work after five months. Babies are pretty boring and going from full time work to full time baby is some adjustment!

I think your feelings are totally normal. I felt my brain ebbing away and longed to sit down for a brew and a non-baby chat with adults. I love my kids but going back to work at 9 months was absolutely what I needed. At the same time, my confidence was affected and it took me a good few months to feel myself in meetings and string a sentence together. All normal.