to think it's up to dh to be a bit more romantic on our wedding anniversary?

[MNersanonymous]

I think I have had it socialised into me that the husband in a relationship should do a bit more of the romancing on a wedding anniversary and I have no idea why!!?

Does anyone else think this??

I suppose I'm a bit miffed as SIL just got whisked away on a child-free night away to a swanky hotel and I got.......just a card (like usual).

He had written nice stuff in the card at least. But AIBU to hanker after some flowers at least once every few years?!

(I probably am - I know there's more to relationships than grand romantic gestures.....)

No - I never get anything from my DP, nothing for my brithday either! I think as long as the day to day stuff is good then overblown romantic gestures are not needed.

Day to day stuff is more important.
I like to receive a bunch of flowers or something else to make me feel special from time to time but I actually find it more romantic when it is not wedding anniversary.

The problem here is that your expectations are different. Because you expect hearts and flowers but DH doesn't, there is a problem. Will he change, or will you change? You have to talk about it IMHO because such things can become huge.

I think I've just stated the bleedin' obvious there.

YANBU btw, but then nor is he BU either.

My dh doesn't even remember our anniversary, unless I remind him.

I think you need to talk to him.
Explain that though you love and appreciate him you wish you felt more romanced.
Maybe he doesn't have a clue what to do? Are you a battleaxe? I mean would you be on here complaining that he had booked a grand romantic gesture and it was crap, or wrong, or you couldn't afford it etc?

If he felt like that then I could see why he wouldn't do it, otherwise just tell him the sort of thing you'd like.

Maybe do wish cards, make some cards up that have things you would love him to do, small gestures(run you a bath and pour you a glass of wine) right up to the largest gestures(weekend away) and let him choose what to do when, that way he has ideas but it's still a 'surprise' iyswim.

Lovely ideas VS.

Agree - nice idea VS - will try that.

p.s. love your battleaxe behaviours - I know exactly the sort of woman you mean but no I'm not like that!

at least you got a card!