Loving someone but not liking them.

[thebraveryofbeingoutofrange]

I find this concept difficult to understand. I can’t love someone I don’t like and I’m comfortable with that. Is this a thing in familial relationships? Is it said because one is supposed to love a family member and it’s a way of accepting bad behaviour?

What is it that you’re struggling with in the concept?

I've never understood this phrase either. Although maybe it means you can love someone, but not like the way they behave sometimes?

I think it can be used for a temporary situation. Eg I don't like the way you're behaving right now (but it doesn't affect my long term feelings about you). However if it's a long term thing then I agree with you.

I think it's definitely possible in a family relationship, particularly with children.

If your child murdered someone you probably wouldn't like them as a person/like their behaviour, but I don't think you'd necessarily stop loving them.

Same with a parent I think. Possibly a sibling.

I wouldn't say it's as simple as 'accepting bad behaviour'. Relationships can be complex, especially with family. It might be that there's someone you care for who you aren't quite on the same wavelength with, maybe your personalities clash or your ways of communicating are very different, but you can still love them even if you always don't agree with them or you generally rub each other up the wrong way.

Yeah, I feel this is an acceptable thing in familial relationships in the main but happy to be corrected.

Yes, this.

If my OP didn’t explain it to you, I can’t really help.

It usually means one of two things:

• Limerance/teenage lust-driven obsession with someone who is treating you badly but you still convince yourself you "love". A lot of young people, women in particular, are prone to this when they haven't had enough life experience and developed sufficient self-esteem to know what's bad for them. See the "I am drawn to bad boys" phenomenon etc.
• Family love where you have a highly dysfunctional relationship with a family member who is abusive/neglectful or just a bit shit but it's hard to completely cut ties with them.

The first scenario is something people owe themselves to grow out of because its fantastically self-destructive but hard to break the habits. The second is a bit trickier.

Yes, the ‘sometimes’ is understandable to me but long term or it being a part of their nature, I can’t love that.

I agree with your explanation.

Ah. I see.