Toddler starting nursery

[ForLovingTealSheep]

toddler starting nursery soon and was told of certain expectations for a preschooler . The UK appears to be different from Italy with regard to rules so was wondering if anyone could give me any guidance on it .
How long toddlers ( 2.5YO ) are expected to sit still at the table at nursery ? What’s the general rule ? I am aware that a preschooler should be able to do all these things when he / she starts .

1. sit still for a certain amount of time
2. wait their turn / finish for an activity to finish
3. follow directions
4. have a certain level of independence
5. what structured activities they do and how long should they last

I keep hearing at 2.5 should be able to sit between 2 to 5 minutes per year of life

Any expert advice / seasoned parents would be most welcome

Relax! Unless it's a very strict preschool they won't expect your child to be able to DO those things just encourage it. I work in the early years and teach turn taking from a young age but plenty of 3 year old start with me and are confused by the whole concept of it. Sitting still is very individual - if you have a lively child they will be encouraged to sit and participate but not just to sit doing nothing!

I don’t think there are any ‘expectations’ for them to be able to do anything in particular when they start! A very general rule re the sitting down thing is approx 1 minute for every year of life. Early years settings are generally very free flowing where children can follow their own interests and engage in activities of their choosing. There may be some structured activities set up which may require some turn taking etc but this will be supported and facilitated by an adult as I don’t think many 2.5 year olds could organise that themselves! Is there anything in particular that you are concerned about?

I think this varies quite a lot depending on the nursery/preschool. Some will be free flow, child lead, maybe 5 minutes of circle time and structured activities will be offered but not enforced. Others, especially often school nurseries, can be the opposite and very structured and expecting the children to be managing all of their self care independently by age 3. You’d be best to talk to the preschool OP.

Nothing in particular.. I noticed my little girl just gets a bit overwhelmed in public places like she loves to explore and needs us to be close to her to go and explore and we thought nursery could help with her a bit . I am a bit apprehensive if I have made the right decision for her personality to send her to nursery .

We've always eaten at the table so I expect them to sit for a full meal by 2.5- 45mins to an hour. There's always a pesky stage between 1yr-18months where they just want to get up and walk around but we've made mealtime fun to up the table and lots of chat so they stay there.
I'd also expect them to take turns and understand basic instructions at 2.5 but also have the impulses of a toddler so only do so when not tired/ overwhelmed etc.
Independence- a bit, should be able to feed themselves mostly, put basic coat and shoes on/ off etc. Potty training- bit divisive but I think 2-2.5 is generally the easiest.
Not super long for structured activities maybe 10mins but I'd expect them to play themselves for much longer when doing open play stuff.

You must have the easiest toddler then to be able to have taught him/ her this well

Surely one reason they go to nursery is so that they learn to do these things, if they couldn’t already. Sit still for a while for e.g. a story or a singalong, take turns, share….
Many small children will take their cues from what the others are doing - it’s a different thing from being just one little one at home.

Totally agree with this .. keep your fingers crossed for me 🙂

My dd similar age attends a prep school and they do lessons for 20min at a time. I dropped my dd off recently and they had a coffee morning for parents as well. So one teacher was doing story time and I was amazed how the kids just came in and sat down and listened to the story. I was there for about 15min and could see the kids just sitting for that time. So I think they do get used to longer times of sitting still / routine.
my dd is now 3yo and does all of the above quite well. I’m sure yours will too.

And if she doesn’t do they want the child to be assessed ? I do try with her but it is not easy at the moment

We did the same thing. It was the wrong move for mine and I wish we hadn't. We took him out for a year and started him again the next year, and he's thriving now.

If she gets overwhelmed in busy places, most nurseries/preschools are going to be horrid environments for her... We sent mine because he loved exploring and making friends, but found it difficult not seeing those people again, and we thought he'd like the opportunities to socialise. His sweet spot for children was around 12, and nursery was a lot busier which he didn't love... and it sort of got worse from there.

This time, he's in a chaotic preschool room but absolutely loves it, I barely get a backwards glance.

I have a 5yo, 3yo and 6month old. School think the eldest has adhd and now nursery has mentioned the middle child having it. So no, not the easiest at all.

Eldest 2 were both at home with me until 2ish and then did 2 short nursery days from then. So a decent amount of 1 to 1 time.

I think you are so right . I mean she shares her toys no problems with kids and if we are at a toddler group usually waits her turn on the slide but yesterday we took her to the beach and it was swamped with people and she just wanted to stay in the buggy so I think you might be right . I should wait 🥹

This sounds familiar....