Really worried about 8 year olds eating habits, go to gp or wait it out?

[Mammasjusttired]

DD used to be a fab eater, would try everything I put on her plate, normally asked for seconds, just generally enjoyed her food. She’s always been tiny but so was I as a child and my mom and her mom etc. She’s the smallest in her class and still wearing age 6 clothing.

A few months ago she started coming home from school saying she hated how she looked, she hated being the smallest, wanted to look like others and things like that. We obviously kept reiterating how she’s beautiful as she is. She then started talking about wanting to eat more healthy (her diet was already healthy for her age) and started asking to eat salads when we went out rather than her favourite burger and chips. We explained about how healthy plates have all different food groups on it so encouraged a side salad with her normal food.

Within the last month this has now stepped up to her pretty much not eating anything at all. She says she hates everything, all the food she used to love and eat so well she now doesn’t like. I’ve asked her what she wants instead but she just says she’s not hungry. All she asks for is grapes, oranges, tomatoes and cucumber. We had a big chat yesterday about eating and how it’s important that she eats more as her body won’t get enough energy or nutrients that she needs but she cried and said it’s because her tummy always hurts. I’m not sure what to believe now because her tummy doesn’t seem to hurt when she asks for the fruit or veg, just when it’s time for a meal. I’m worried that she’s only 8 and displaying this type of issues already. At the same time I don’t want to be making it a bigger issue and put more emphasis on it. Really not sure what the best thing to do is?

Off to the GP for a referral. What do school say about her, as this may well be coming from something else?

Oh bless her, poor girl. Have you seen a GP? Do you think she is anxious about something?

Hi OP, does she spend a lot of time on social media? Wondering if this is the cause. It's detrimental to children's health. I know far too many children with eating disorders because of what they see on tik tok and instagram

I agree that going to the GP is the first step. Just wanted to add that unexplained tummy pains was one of the signs of having ASD for my DD at that age.

Thanks, I will call the GP this morning.
@PersephoneParlormaidi mentioned it to school before we broke up but they didn’t seem too concerned.
@Topjoe19it would make sense as she is the most anxious little one bless her, she worries about everything all the time.
@Terracottafarmersshe uses her iPad but mainly for Roblox, she does occasionally go on YouTube but she’s not allowed any form of social media apart from that.
@BunnyRuddingtonim hoping that’s not the case as I’ve just come out of a 6 year struggle to get her brother diagnosed with asd so I know how long and hard the process is 😩

Does she go to the toilet as often as earlier?

even mild constipation can impact appetite

Also would explain tummy aches 😉

Ah if her brother has ASD you’ll be aware that it’s highly hereditary. I would start looking at how ASD presents in girls and the strong association between being ND and having eating disorders

my friend is going through similar with her 10yr old and she has lost a lot of weight in a short time. She is going to the GP. She has restricted her access to youtube as she thinks she’s seen things on there. I’d go and seek help now.

my friend is going through similar with her 10yr old and she has lost a lot of weight in a short time. She is going to the GP. She has restricted her access to youtube as she thinks she’s seen things on there. I’d go and seek help now.

Do agree though that other things can cause loss of appetite. The Eric website suggested above is very good.

Being anaemic can also affect appetite. The GP should offer a blood test.

I would do this simple progress checker before seeing the GP. You’ll need to do the 7 year as the next one is for 9 years and they always advise you to go down on their progress checker, not up.

Sorry forgot to ask, is the Youtube she has access to the Child’s version?

I would definitely go to the GP and remove the phone. My daughter has autism and an ED which originated from her phone. The two are linked and yes we had the stomach ache thing too. I long wondered if there were sensory issues causing a feeling of not liking the feeling of being full. I’d try to nip it in the bud as it’s so much harder to sort when it’s become intrenched .

Poor little mite. I remember vaguely at that age (I may have been a year or so older actually) going off my food and my parents thinking I had an eating disorder but in my case it was anxiety. Fruit is easier to digest in an anxious stomach. GP is a good idea and she sounds like she needs help managing her anxiety.
Good luck!

Just to mention it's worth looking into medical causes. Rule out coeliac disease and inflammatory bowel disease as possible causes.
My DD has Crohn's and some of the signs were tummy pains, a reduced appetite and she stopped growing.

I’d take her to the GP to rule out issues like coeliac, other problems, and vitamin/mineral deficiencies, which can affect appetite. If she’s mainly eating fruit, it’s possible the stomach ache is from that. Somebody above said fruit is easy on the stomach, but it’s not! After a stomach bug, it’s one of the things to avoid until your stomach recovers.

Some children’s supplements can help appetite. It’s important to nip this in the bud now, not just for psychological reasons, but because she’ll start to genuinely feel less hungry as her stomach ‘shrinks’, which becomes a vicious circle.

Use her mention of stomach ache to explain the GP visit. Remove/reduce fruit availability. Invite a friend with a very good appetite over and provide small portions of your DD’s favourite foods and dessert. If appropriate, tell her you’re worried that she’s not nourishing her body properly. Mention her previous desire to be like her friends and tell her that won’t happen if she doesn’t eat well.

She’s young enough that sensitive, quick action should be able to ward this off. Spend lots of time with her and give her lots of praise across the board - ie for everything. Let her know that if she has any worries whatsoever, you’ll always listen.

Is she being bullied at school? Have comments been made about how she looks etc?
I’d definitely want to be speaking one to one with class teacher as it all seems to stem from a reaction to something that’s happened at school if I’ve read your post correctly.

Is she being bullied at school? Have comments been made about how she looks etc?
I’d definitely want to be speaking one to one with class teacher as it all seems to stem from a reaction to something that’s happened at school if I’ve read your post correctly.

Also check out pans pandas. It seems far fetched at first but if this has come on suddenly with lots of anxiety then it might be that.

I would make a GP appointment because seeing a doctor talk about the importance of eating well may just trigger her to believe it.

Just to be aware if she’s on YouTube then that is basically TikTok in parts as the YouTube shorts are TikTok videos so maybe check what she’s seeing on there as it may have content she may be too young to see. Or videos relating to food/ weight etc.

I’d also think about her friendship circle, and think of anyone she’s around and their language surrounding weight/ image. Does everyone speak positively about it? Or neutrally.

Sure it’s just a phase and I hope you get it’s sorted xx

Tummyache is an extremely common symptom of anxiety at that age. And it's genuinely felt as a tummyache so they're not lying. Especially in girls who are sensitive, possibly ND and eager to please. Food is a way of controlling something in their life that they feel is manageable, unlike lots of other factors that they can't control.

Social media may not really play a role. My emetophobia started around age 8 in the 90s and there was zero social media. I didn't even know there was a name for it until 15 years later. I was undiagnosed ND, highly anxious and food ended up being a irrational outlet to self regulate my MH. Emetophobia and anorexia are extremely similar and lots of anxious girls end up with one or the other.

The solution is not really to lecture her about nutrition or take away her phone. You need to ensure her needs are being met in other areas of life such as giving her sufficient control over decisions, even mundane ones. It sounds ridiculous but a significant source of anxiety as a child was never being allowed any input in family plans, never being told how long a trip or journey would last and just being dragged around everywhere. At the same time she needs help building up self esteem. Let her have things she likes (clothes, stationery etc) or have something she's proud and excited about. Maybe encourage a new hobby that she can pursue and be proud of.

My eating habits were always directly correlated to other stressors or perceived stressors in my life. It improved immensely once I left home and started living alone because for the first time I could plan my life the way I needed it to be and not be constantly overstimulated and overscheduled.

@Mammasjusttired

Does she play Roblox within your hearing all the time? Does she use the online chat function?
Have a read of this
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/apr/14/risks-children-roblox-deeply-disturbing-researchers

Definitely GP just to be on the safe side. Re the stomach ache.. it might be that she’s just saying that because she can’t describe how she really feels? Crying and saying your stomach hurts at that age is a pretty common deflection if you think you might be in trouble, don’t want to do something etc. Please don’t let your mind leap to worst case scenarios . This is so common but the GP will know where to start

Agree with pp that restricted food intake is often a manifestation of asd in girls, particularly with accompanying tummy ache (likely symptom of anxiety) and knowing that ND already runs in the family. Our dd's diet is quite restricted, but she eats enough variety (and quantity - has a healthy appetite!) to get by. We struggle more when she's out of her routine, for example on holiday, when things aren't exactly has she can have them at home. For 2 weeks every year we pretty much let her eat whatever she can stomach. Invariably she returns to normal when she's back in routine and back in control. It's really, really common in girls so you definitely need a referral.

Definitely a sympathetic GP needed & remove youtube unless you are sat next to her watching along.
Another possibility to consider is migraine if the abdo pain is frequent- common presentation of migraine in kids. This does sound more like anxiety or unkind comments at school though. I wouldn't restrict any foods - make salad but sneak in dressing & nuts/seeds/cheese. Would baking healthy bread with her help? Fun and a good source of carbs & fibre.