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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give cleaner another chance

45 replies

sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 21:40

Name changed for this
Had someone come to do 2hrs cleaning. Made it clear that I was looking for someone to come and do a clean for 2hrs each week. Prioritising the kitchen, bathroom and floors. She was quite young and from the conversation we had it was clear she was just setting up on her own but had experience. She said it might take her a little longer the first occasion whilst she worked out where everything was - this seemed reasonable - and she was charging a reduced rate for initial clean.
I work from home and have a reactive dog so I retreated to the office (with the dog) whilst leaving her to clean. I came out after about an hour to find she hadn’t progressed beyond the front room and had in her words done a deep clean. I repeated that she didn’t need to do a deep clean but the hat I had asked her to do. My phone rang at that point so I returned to the office and when I came out she had moved from the lounge to the kitchen and was again doing a deep clean! At that point she had been there over 3hrs. Now yes a deep clean would be good but it wasn’t what I asked her to do.
I told her politely that I needed her to finish up and go and paid her for the time she had spent. She asked when she could come back to finish and I explained that she hadn’t done at all what I asked and I really needed someone who knew what they were doing and worked quickly and efficiently to achieve that. I have had a cleaner for some time (sadly moved away) and she had always easily achieved what I needed done in the 2hr time slot.
She is now messaging to say she understands where she went wrong and she is able to complete what I want in the timeframe I need her to. I’m also aware that she is just starting out and I feel bad about not letting her carry on as I’m aware she needs the work.

So what would you do? AIBU to just cut my losses? - I was really cross and upset yesterday that I’d paid her and yet I still have to clean the house myself. Yes I can do it but having someone come in and clean is my little luxury to make my life easier.
Or should I let her come back and try again? She was a really lovely person and she accepted and coped with my dogs really well and crucially my little frightened reactive girls liked her. Which is hugely important to me

OP posts:
SixtySomething · 12/08/2025 21:50

Obviously, give the poor girl a chance.
You're used to a familiar cleaner. After a bit I'm sure this girl will turn out to be indispensable but it does take time, sometimes quite a long time.
You're lucky enough to afford this luxury. She clearly needs the work. You can afford to be a bit generous.

LizzieSiddal · 12/08/2025 21:52

I would give her a second chance. Maybe text her the day before she comes, explaining again exactly what you’d like her to do in those two hours and hopefully she will do it.

HerecomesMargo · 12/08/2025 21:53

I’ve had a cleaner for the last 15 years, different ones but they have always stayed 4/5 years at a time . I absolutely would not ask her back. Your instructions were very clear and she couldn’t follow a simple instruction. This would be a very big issue for me- it’s nothing to do with being slow on her first day. She just isn’t efficient as well.

My cleaner has been with me for 4 years - speaks very little English and you would think that there’s lots of room for issues. BUT she is SO efficient, does exactly what you require but able to prioritise as well.

If You paid for any other service and didn’t get what you wanted, would you go back? So why would you take her back?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/08/2025 21:56

I’d give her another chance, either she’s learned or she hasn’t. Although if there are plenty of other options readily available I may feel differently.

Candlesandmatches · 12/08/2025 22:06

Give her another chance but be much more specific with what you want For example: Please clean all kitchen worktops - but do not move appliances other than the kettle to clean under
please clean all fronts of cabinets.
Hoover and cleaned kitchens floor. Use this mop and this cleaning solution
Then she understands exactly what you want.
one persons deep clean is another’s normal

Original poster
sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 22:28

SixtySomething · 12/08/2025 21:50

Obviously, give the poor girl a chance.
You're used to a familiar cleaner. After a bit I'm sure this girl will turn out to be indispensable but it does take time, sometimes quite a long time.
You're lucky enough to afford this luxury. She clearly needs the work. You can afford to be a bit generous.

I’m not lucky to afford this luxury thanks!!! I’m massively struggling myself and am scrimping to afford this to make life a little easier for myself.
I have ADHD, chronic fatigue and am coming out the back of cancer treatment. I can’t afford for someone to come and not do the job I asked.

OP posts:
Original poster
sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 22:29

And if I do have her back and she again doesn’t do what I asked I don’t feel like I should pay her to come and not do what I need done.

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 12/08/2025 22:35

When you say ‘prioritise the kitchen, bathroom and floors’ do you mean only do those areas?

Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding and she thought you wanted the living room doing too, and maybe it required quite a bit of work. I think 2 hours for an initial clean isn’t much. I’d be inclined to give her another chance since she’s clearly keen to give it another try and wants the work.

TheGoodOnesAreAllGone · 12/08/2025 22:42

Did she do a good job of the living room and kitchen? What is she charging per hour?

CinnamonJellyBeans · 12/08/2025 22:43

Did you allocate enough time to ensure your kitchen, bathroom and floors could be cleaned enough to actually look like a difference had been made? Maybe the deep clean was the only thing that could restore them to a semblance of and shininess and cleanliness

It may be that as you have been so unwell, it got into a bit of a state and she was trying to demonstate the standards that she could achieve once the intial dirt/stains had been cleaned up. Once she gets it looking good again, two hours a week will probably be plenty.

I'd give her another chance. She's clearly very keen and willing to work and she's a young woman. I'd find it hard to turn her down.

Original poster
sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 22:44

MeganM3 · 12/08/2025 22:35

When you say ‘prioritise the kitchen, bathroom and floors’ do you mean only do those areas?

Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding and she thought you wanted the living room doing too, and maybe it required quite a bit of work. I think 2 hours for an initial clean isn’t much. I’d be inclined to give her another chance since she’s clearly keen to give it another try and wants the work.

I wanted a clean kitchen and bathroom, surfaces wiped down, sinks cleaned, floors hoovered and mopped, bins taken out and a through hoover throughout the house and all bins emptied.
Instead she spent over an hour pulling all the cushions off the sofa and hoovering it out, rearranging all my phot frames and dusting the shelves and reorganising everything on them that didn’t need moving and felt very intrusive.
In the kitchen she wiped the work surfaces down and started on all the doors. That’s literally all she did in 3hrs. No bins emptied, no hoovering upstairs, bathroom not done. No floors mopped.

After she left I did it all in less than an hour.

OP posts:
menopausalfart · 12/08/2025 22:44

It's worth giving one more chance. Let her know this and see how it goes.

Original poster
sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 22:47

CinnamonJellyBeans · 12/08/2025 22:43

Did you allocate enough time to ensure your kitchen, bathroom and floors could be cleaned enough to actually look like a difference had been made? Maybe the deep clean was the only thing that could restore them to a semblance of and shininess and cleanliness

It may be that as you have been so unwell, it got into a bit of a state and she was trying to demonstate the standards that she could achieve once the intial dirt/stains had been cleaned up. Once she gets it looking good again, two hours a week will probably be plenty.

I'd give her another chance. She's clearly very keen and willing to work and she's a young woman. I'd find it hard to turn her down.

No the house had not fallen to wreak and ruin. My last cleaner cleaned for the last time 10 days before.
Prev cleaner was here a total of 2 hrs 15 mins and the last half hour of that was us having a coffee and goodbye chat!

OP posts:
MellowTiger · 12/08/2025 22:49

I’d give her a second chance but be clear with her that you are paying her for 2 hours and what you expect done. If she fails again, 2 chances is enough.
it is hard when you’re starting out in business.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 12/08/2025 22:54

You're not a charity and you don't owe her another chance. There may well be plenty of other people around who need the work just as much, and who may be a better fit for you. If you have other candidates then give one of them a try first, perhaps, and then decide if you want to give this woman another shot.

To those who say "give her very detailed instructions" - that's more work for the OP. It's a bit like when a bloke says "Oh, if you'd told me what to do I would have helped". You gave her verbal instructions and she didn't act on them, from the sound of it. Her "deep cleaning regardless of what you asked for" approach will be perfect for some jobs, eg an end of tenancy cleaner, but it's not what you wanted.

RandomMess · 12/08/2025 22:59

I would give her a written list of what you want done. So there is no mistake.

GU24Mum · 12/08/2025 23:02

Unless you are desperate and can’t find anyone else, I wouldn’t. It sounds as though it would be less hassle to do it yourself than have someone who doesn’t do what you want. You’ll probably find that next time is marginally better but still not right - but as it’s better you’ll find it harder to say no.

ThisPlumCrab · 12/08/2025 23:03

Did you get a reference before she started? Or any examples of previous happy customers?

Wolfpinkola · 12/08/2025 23:05

No, sounds stressful
there are good cleaners out there, she isn’t it

Original poster
sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 23:06

DivorcedAndDelighted · 12/08/2025 22:54

You're not a charity and you don't owe her another chance. There may well be plenty of other people around who need the work just as much, and who may be a better fit for you. If you have other candidates then give one of them a try first, perhaps, and then decide if you want to give this woman another shot.

To those who say "give her very detailed instructions" - that's more work for the OP. It's a bit like when a bloke says "Oh, if you'd told me what to do I would have helped". You gave her verbal instructions and she didn't act on them, from the sound of it. Her "deep cleaning regardless of what you asked for" approach will be perfect for some jobs, eg an end of tenancy cleaner, but it's not what you wanted.

Edited

This is kind of where I’m at. I have a cleaner to reduce both my list of jobs I physically need to do but also my mental load. I don’t really want to have to spell out to someone every week what I want doing.
I want someone who can think for themselves and go this is what needs doing and this is the time I have and get done what needs done first and anything else after that.

OP posts:
Hello39 · 12/08/2025 23:08

After reading your update...uanbu.

Some cleaners do deep cleans at the start, so focus on one room at a time, then maintain it....but not rearranging ornaments instead of cleaning. Was she dusting them?

pinkdelight · 12/08/2025 23:22

I wouldn’t give her another chance. She’s not listened and comprehended you at any point. Even by continuing to message you, she’s ignoring your expressed wish to end it there. You’ll find someone who can understand the basics and do you the basic clean you want. This cleaner is not it. Don’t be guilt tripped.

Mmhmmn · 12/08/2025 23:26

She’s probably a perfectionist, Maybe if you spell out in a (friendly) text what a more superficial clean means to you, she could have another go. It could be worth sticking with

SixtySomething · 13/08/2025 00:46

sosorryimnotsorry · 12/08/2025 22:29

And if I do have her back and she again doesn’t do what I asked I don’t feel like I should pay her to come and not do what I need done.

So if thst's the case, find someone else. However, I don't think it's reslistic to expect a cleaning fairy.
It takes time for a cleaner to understand your particular requirements.

geekygardener · 13/08/2025 01:12

yanbu op and I wouldn’t have her back. I understood you feel sorry for her but I also understand why you need a good cleaner and your needs are important too. Like the saying goes you need to put your own oxygen mask on first.
My cleaner is a life saver and I need her to reduce the stress or il go under.

I have never had to tell her what to do. Even on the first day. She just turned up and cracked on. I live in a reasonably sized house and in 2 hours she is able to clean and tidy every room, including bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, living room, dining room, playroom. She tidies toys, puts away any clutter, folds clothes, empties bins, empties the dish washer, does any dishes in the sink (wash dry and put away), makes beds, all floors hoovered and mopped, all rooms dusted, sofa plumped and arranged, all kitchen surfaces and cupboards cleaned and a literally spotless bathroom. You can absolutely tell when she has been and it is maintained for ages, unlike when I tidy and clean and it looks back to a shit tip the next day. She’s just so efficient. How your girl spent an hour on one room is beyond me.

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