Feeling ambition less after having DC

[Ahsotired]

I used to be an ambitious person pre kids. Regularly upskilling, changing jobs, applying for promotion etc. I used to attend lots of conferences both as participant and speaker. I am mid 30s now with a 1 year old and 4 years old DC and just finishing mat leave. I feel quite ambition less now.
I have managed to get a promotion between DC1 and DC2 and finishing off masters from work now. I feel like I used to dream about climbing corporate ladder but now I want to maximise my time with kids making memories.
I am in middle management and there would be opportunities to go for senior roles but I don't know when I will feel ready.
What was your experience if you were in similar situation?

My experience is now work is a means to an end that keeps a roof over my kids head. I go to get paid and don’t care much about progression at the moment. Mine are similar ages to yours. I’m sure in time I will have more mental bandwidth to care more.

I feel exactly the same and needless to say how exhausting it all is

I am feeling sad about going back to work and leaving baby with childminder but it's what it is

Mine are teenagers and I feel like this. I have achieved a decent career but don’t care enough to do any better. I am lucky that I like my job but I really don’t care that much about it. My only motivation is providing for my children. If I could afford it I would stay at home or work part time so I could dedicate more time to them.

@Oldjumperfluff that's good that you have managed a decent career. I just feel so exhausted with young DC that I don't know when will I feel I have more energy to do anything.

I feel slightly differently but I did lose drive and ambition when dc were young. Too tired to bother I think. However once dc hit teenage years I have felt more motivated to build my career again and have climbed up and had promotions and am taking every opportunity now. I love what I do and have time now to do it well.

I found my ambition increased as my kids got older and more expensive. When they’re little you’re tired, you feel guilty all the time, and just keeping your head above water takes a lot!

@mumonthehill thanks for sharing your positive experience. I think I was listening to a podcast and a lady was saying that we can have everything but not all at once, I try to remember that when I feel bit down about it all.

One of the reasons is my DM passed away in her 50s which really gave me perspective to think that we have limited time and if matters how we spend it. So, I really want to maximise my time with my DC and family.

I had a leadership role in the public sector when I had my first. I stepped back and did a range of basic level, part-time, agency role for years until my youngest was FT in school, then I moved back to FT but again only doing basic grade.

My youngest was at least 8 before I really regained any interest in work.

I'm now in a highly specialist role which I enjoy. I've told work that I will do anything, as long as I don't have to be in charge.

No interest in progression up the management ladder at all, but I do enjoy having a niche specialism.

Not in your situation career wise but I definitely feel less ambitious than I did in my teens and early 20s, since becoming a mum x

Decent for me but probably not by most people’s standards 😆 For me it’s not really about energy (I am not dealing with babies anymore). It’s more that I don’t really care about anything else but my kids. My career used to give me a lot of purpose but I now just work because I have to. I can’t admit in real life as I guess I used to be a feminist that wanted a career. I have turned into a woman who only cares about my family.

I have no kids and feel like this 😂

I can relate so much to this right now. I used to be same, feminist prioritising my career over everything and never imagined that I will feel this way in 10 years time. Right now, I just want to be around my little DCs and don't want to miss any of their milestones, taking them around, showing the world and playing with them.

May be one day I will get my mojo back or may be this is my new mojo.

I think it’s really normal to be honest! We have a toddler, currently 6 months pregnant with number 2 and I totally relate. Used to be very ambitious and worked really hard to get to where I am, no regrets about that and do really love my job for which I am grateful, but that fire & passion to take on more work, go for that next promotion etc just isn’t there now.

For the first time in my life I’m actually totally content with everything as it is- I’m not chasing the next thing, I’m enjoying exactly where I am right now and honestly that’s a really lovely thing.

I’ve got plenty of time to start climbing again when my children are older but for now my job is just what facilitates the life I give my children (albeit I do really love my job) and that’s okay.