Brothers new partner seems really unpleasant.

[cuteseal]

My brother’s been with his new partner since around this time last year but due to distance we haven’t met yet.

We’re due to meet up over the bank holiday but other family members have met her and have her on social media.
I’ve noticed a few comments she’s added on a few posts relating to ND children implying she doesn’t believe in ND and it’s just bad parenting/ excuses etc.

Not only is my own daughter ND but so is my nephew who is my brothers son that she’s now in a relationship with.
I’m really not looking forward to meeting her in person and introducing her to my daughter if that’s her attitude and feel quite sorry for my nephew that she’s so misunderstanding of his condition.
My brother seems to think she’s the bees knees and hangs off her every word so I’m not counting on him standing up for his niece or his son.
I’m really uncomfortable about meeting her now knowing her views and not sure if I should.

What were the nature of her comments? Was she denying ND exists at all, or suggesting that there is an issue with over-diagnosing at the moment? I don’t have a view on that because I don’t know really anything about it, but I have seen it emerging as a fairly common opinion (including adult ADHD diagnosis).

I think you should meet her with an open mind. If you are inclined, you could introduce the topic to get a proper idea of what her views are. However, you should tread carefully. Your relationship with your brother and nephew could hinge on your treatment of this woman.

😄😄 what??

Of course you can dislike someone if they have horrific views and opinions which they share on social media

How about coming off social.media then you won't have all these thoughts before you meet.

Just give her a chance. People can be weird on social media. I have a couple of friends I really love in real life but across as completely different people online.

So meet her and educate her?

I wouldn’t waste my time on her tbh.

@OneCoralCat I’ve never met Farage , as you say I know enough to have an opinion - however it’s kind of different if it’s one a personal level and a one off rather than a constant and it’s easy to misinterpret a one off comment - just because you disagree with her on this doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be better to judge when you have met . I have met many Reform or Tory voters that I disagree with on many aspects, I don’t however necessarily dislike them just to have a general lunch or a drink with - I just disagree with many of their political/social views on why things are as they are, and it may be she is very good with your child or his son -

That's not what I meant. 😳This is not a 'horrific' view. It's not particularly nice but the person needs to be met and to spend some time with before cancelling them and judging them.
Way to much of this crap going on IMO

I'm a sen mum - the judgement is INSANE , from people who have zero experience of sen but feel qualified to make a judgement about the parents

That's an horrific view, and I wouldnt like her

But, its early days and shes going nowhere so I'd make my comment and leave it at that

The woman might change her mind, so no point in causing an argument

But as a pp mentioned, imagine someone posting racist/transphobic stuff, particularly if it was relevant to you. I too would be thinking I didn’t like the person before I’d even met her.

She sounds thick as shit. One for thinking this shit and two for posting it on social media. I would keep contact to a minimum.

That’s exactly what I was going to say. And if she won’t be educated, then accept you’ll never be friends.

Sure, which is fine, too, obviously. I mean, the OP hasn't met this woman before because of distance, will meet her soon, but there's no reason to think they're going to be soulmates, just because the OP's brother is very keen on her. I'm fond of several of my SILs, but wouldn't consider them friends.

A lot of people that dont believe in ND, I have noticed that they think a lot of nd traits are just normal, because they themselves have so many traits.

Id hold off judging too harshly. Her views now might mellow over time

How could your bother be so in to her if she has such negative attitudes towards his own son? Is there some misunderstanding here maybe? Have you asked your brother OP?

I absolutely agree with all that you say.
I didn't explain it well. I think I mentioned that in my previous post.

Either she a) does not believe ND exists which is odd and I'd be questioning her if she thinks the world is flat b) she DOES believe in ND but thinks that it can vary in severity and that many people are using ND as an excuse to be an AH, which I think is a pretty common and valid opinion tbh. c) something else.
I'd meet her and find out.

Meet her, so you can hate her even more lol

Agree.

If I'd seen my brothers partner make them comments when there were NÐ people in the family I'd be straight on the phone to brother to speak to him about it. I can respect people having different views but if someone said ND doesn't exist and is bad parenting when their partners child is ND I'd be a bit perplexed and want to get to the bottom of why they have made that comment and what they think of their partner and his child. I'd also be wary of introducing them to my own ND child. I wouldn't want my DC around someone who was going to judge them.

See what happens when you meet her. If she makes some unpleasant comments you'll know where you stand and can act accordingly.

Surely she is entitled to her opinion op. Maybe when she meets the kids she might change her mind but it’s her beliefs you can’t dislike her for them we are all entitled to them.

They are a dick and don’t deserve to be heard out

🙄

I 'met' Lee on a tram, not knowing who he was until later and my impression was exactly what is portrayed on SM.

Suffice to say, I didn't vote for him.