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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find a new club for my sport?

2 replies

LittleBitButthurt · 11/08/2025 22:11

I belong to a local club for the sport I compete in. I have 2 different trainers at the club, so pay for 2 x lessons weekly. I am relatively new to the sport (less than 2 years), but have been competing now in it since last autumn and have been doing pretty well, winning a fair few events.

There is a fb page for the club, and everyone tends to post their results on there, everyone else says well done etc, you get the idea. Now, whenever I post something, the woman who actually owns and runs the club never puts a like or a comment, but does on literally everyone else’s results (even if they’re not great results!). Similarly, although I am also friends with the club owner on fb, she never has any interaction with any of my personal posts, whereas she does with everybody else from the club that she’s friends with on fb.

She obviously doesn’t like me very much, and I don’t know why. I’ve been nothing but friendly towards her and everyone else at the club, I support the events the club runs as well as pay for my regular training. I could handle the FB stuff, but where it starts to affect me is that she deliberately overlooks me in favour of people who don’t even train with the club. Eg I have a friend who follows our club’s FB page even though she belongs to a different club (I actually introduced her to the FB page as I’d got to know her at competitions). There have been times that there have been guest trainer events (a post will go up on the club’s page and people will comment if they’d like a space. I will comment, so will the friend who isn’t in the club, she’ll end up being given a space and I’ll be told there’s no room for me. This has happened a few times, with different people who definitely don’t train at our club. It’s a bit weird, even if the club owner for whatever reason has taken a dislike to me, you’d have thought it would be savvy business sense to let the people who train with the club have first dibs on the spaces, to keep them sweet.

It is ridiculous maybe but I’m getting flashbacks to mean girls at school experiences and I’m thinking about leaving the club and finding another one. Not that the owner would care 🤣. But at the same time, I get on with all of the club members, so would miss them, I really like my trainers, and location wise it’s definitely the handiest for me. Just feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth every time my posts get ignored or I get turned down for a training space. AIBU?

OP posts:
Sportsdaywinner · 12/08/2025 01:41

It would be a shame to leave as you've mentioned you get on well with others there. I wouldn't let her drive me out if I were you but I can understand that the way she is treating you isn't creating a welcoming atmosphere. Can you go and have a chat with her when she's alone perhaps? Keep it friendly and calm and polite and don't imply that she's to blame for anything but simply state that you've noticed that the spaces always seem to be full and is there any chance you could be considered for them in the near future. Don't mention the Facebook stuff as that's neither here nor there.

LivingTheDreamish · 12/08/2025 01:57

Yes I think it's worth finding a good moment to ask her (in person) in a friendly non-confrontational way if members have priority for guest trainer events as you've noticed you've missed out a couple of times, and gauge her reaction. Can you live with it if you deduce she's just not keen on you for some reason? Maybe she's jealous of your success.

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