What is/was your 7 year old like? Driving me insane

[Whatawaytogohey]

Dd has just turned 7 and her behaviour is getting me so frustrated.
She constantly asks to see her friends on the road (has seen them on Saturday and Sunday) wanted a relaxing day at home today. She will not accept the word ‘No’ she will go on and on, asking again and again, when I’ve said No so many times and I eventually lose my temper. She’s very independent and doesn’t like having any rules and gets upset and cries that she just wants to do what she wants to do. I’ve explained to het so many times why she can’t and am constantly explaining to her how we are the parents and she is the child.
She’s a very bright girl, but so strong willed, finding everything an argument and it’s bringing me down and ruining our relationship.

Is it just my child who is a pita 😔

A 7 yr old not wanting to stay home and do nothing all day isn't a pain in the arse surely? Are you doing something with her? Baking? Crafts? Movie day?

We do all sorts, constantly. We haven’t stayed home all day, we’ve swam in the pool, been food shopping & been for a bike ride and she’s played with daddy. She’s seen her friends all weekend, I wanted a day without kids in the house, she sees them a lot which is good, but she constantly asks and asks for everything and won’t take no for an answer

Its hard to say from the example you give whether she is being difficult because a 7 year old wanting to play with friends outside in the good weather sounds both normal and reasonable to me.
What did the relaxing day at home you had planned consist of? Did it involve interesting activities for her?
Is she an only child because if so it will be very important for her to socialize with other kids, playing with others is pretty much what children like doing and since it is the holidays, I would personally facilitate that as much as possible.

My almost 7yr old is exactly the same. Every single thing has to be argued about, questioned, goes on and on trying to get her own way until yes, I lose my temper and raise my voice.
Trying my best constantly to remain patient and disengage from the conversation when she starts, sometimes this helps rather than fueling it.
No other advice but, solidarity

Yeah mine always wants something too and hates being told no, but if she just wants a pal round surely her pal could come round to play and you could get some time to yourself? If my 7 yr old has a pal round they occupy each other. It's summer holidays and a whole day at homejust parents is a lot. Mine would love it if he got my entirely undivided attention but that wouldn't be ideal for me either for a whole day. It's a funny age

Yes I do, she’s seen them all weekend and will see them during the week too. We do crafts, swimming, beach, library, playgrounds etc all the time. Today I just wanted to get the food shop in and have a calm day at home, which still involved bike rides, pool and dog walk, plus playing with daddy, I don’t think that’s unreasonable

They’ve been here all weekend, it’s not time to myself as lots of noise, mess, supervising them..I really enjoy it normally but not all the time

Don't get drawn in to having the same conversation over and over again.

"Can I have my friends over?"

"No, not today because XYZ"

"But I want my friends over..."

"I've said No and I've told you why. I don't want to talk about it anymore"

"But can they just come over for a little while"

Ignore. Walk away or change the subject or just pretend that you're deaf.

Do not get drawn in.

So hard at the moment, feels like I have no control

Yes I need to do this, she tends to follow me more and I end up getting annoyed

Sometimes just completely changing the subject with something silly can help.

"Can my friends come over...?" (For the third time)

"Do you think you could ride a Zebra?" or "I've been thinking about getting some new wellies, what colour do you think I should get?" etc

💯 this! Stop explaining and taking. Lay down the law by being firm and simply ignore if say you aren’t changing your mind no matter how many times she asks and that this isn’t a debate’. Then walk away.

If it progresses then tell her you have said no and if she doesn’t stop then there will be a consequence. I’m all for strong willed girls but the world has boundaries and rules and she has to learn then from you first.

If she is strong willed she will be trying to wear you down - don’t let her but don’t expose yourself to it either.

One of my children is the same, which is the complete opposite of their sibling, so if they’d come first I would have seriously been questioning my parenting 😅 It’s very very difficult for them to accept ‘No’ and many tantrums have ensued over the years from not agreeing to what they want - over small and big things.
Things that have helped:

• telling them exactly when things will happen (if possible). For example ‘We’re not seeing friends today but tomorrow around 10am you can go and play with them/they can come’ etc
• sone explanation as to why, age appropriate of course BUT I won’t explain over and over why not
• sometimes the explanation is ‘Because I’m tired’ and that has to be enough. My younger child is wonderfully empathetic, actually more so than my oldest, but in the midst of a want they can forget about everyone and everything, so focused as they are on their immediate need. It means they are extremely determined and that works in some situations but not when I’ve told them 5 times we can’t go out this afternoon!
• holding the line - it’s really hard to try and stay calm when you’re being constantly badgered, and I do lose my temper sometimes. There are heights of emotion in our house and then ten minutes later they are saying sorry and go off and find an activity themselves. When they were younger ten minutes was sometimes an hour but I had to let it play out.

So, you are definitely not alone and it does get easier as they get older.

My ds is like this and is 7 also I echo what another poster said just don't get drawn into the conversation. I can ve quite stubborn and we would have back and forth conversations about the same thing for ages. I then realised I was being just as bad and acting like a 7 year old my self so I just say it once now (twice of he wasn't listening) then say I will not talk about this anymore and I won't speak unless it's about something else he's got the jist now.