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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling pp

6 replies

Darlingbaby · 11/08/2025 15:07

Hi.
Anyone else a second time mum who really struggled adapting 1 to 2 kids?
My dc is 7 weeks old and he's quite a high needs baby. Cries a lot and has now been diagnosed with reflux and cmpa, he hates being put down which I struggle with.
I had a difficult birth this time, resulted in prolapse and multiple infections as I had a 3rd degree by my clitoris which was so painful, so been advised not to lift by physio and not to baby wear, my dc hates it anyway. I'm still iron deficient after a pph, on medication.
I struggle to get anything done in the house, or take my dv1 to holiday club during the summer.
I'm exhausted, my partner works so won't do the night feeds and is even reluctant to do them weekends as he's tired.
I'm just struggling this time, more than with the first. I know it'll get better and easier but I think my body is battered and bruised still and not recovered.
My partner asked last night when I asked him to make a bottle 'how do I make it again' as he literally doesn't have to lift a finger with the boys.. I'm at my wits end..
I miss work too, miss the routine, the money.. I'm the breadwinner so I'm struggling with asking dp for money to do the weekly shop as I'm so fiercely independent usually. It's a struggle.. I don't know if it'll get better this time.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 11/08/2025 17:34

It will all get better, everything is a phase.
Im sorry you’ve had a bad time, is there any family that can help you?

HappySummerDays · 11/08/2025 17:37

I’m sorry your partner is so shit.

pinkyredrose · 11/08/2025 17:37

as he literally doesn't have to lift a finger with the boys

Why? Did he not want 2 children and did he not assume that raising them is a 2 parent job?

Darlingbaby · 11/08/2025 18:51

PersephoneParlormaid · 11/08/2025 17:34

It will all get better, everything is a phase.
Im sorry you’ve had a bad time, is there any family that can help you?

My mum is great, she helps most days when she can but dp family don't. God knows what I'd do if it wasn't for my mum.

OP posts:
Apprensen · 11/08/2025 18:53

You need a good chat with your DP and he needs to take on some full responsibility with the DC to give you some space and time

Darlingbaby · 11/08/2025 19:46

pinkyredrose · 11/08/2025 17:37

as he literally doesn't have to lift a finger with the boys

Why? Did he not want 2 children and did he not assume that raising them is a 2 parent job?

He very much wanted the first, second was accidental. I don't think he anticipated how hard it would be.
I spent 4 nights in hospital with my baby due to pph and birthing complications so dp got to go home to ds1 who is 5 and sleeps... First night home, I did the night feeds.. And done mostly all since coming home as he says he's too tired. I think my body is now saying 7w later no you've done too much please rest.. But it's impossible to

OP posts:
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