Fed up - Elderly neighbour hears voices & is blaming me...

[summerskyblue]

I live in a row of terraces and one of my neighbour is a 95 year old woman living on her own.

I have lived there for almost 3 years and 3 months ago another neighbour knocked on my door and told me that this elderly lady was complaining she could not sleep because she was hearing an alarm and 'mournful music' early in the morning. I told the woman who knocked on my door that this was not coming from my house and I could not hear that type of noise coming from anywhere in the neighbourhood.

My elderly neighbour then knocked on the party walls a couple of time early in the morning about 5am/6am. I assume she could hear the 'noise' which unfortunately has to either be an issue with her needed an earring aid or having some signs of cognitive decline which make her hear sounds that are not there.

I also noted that her tv got progressively louder which makes me think that her hearing is playing up.

I tried knocking on her door to discuss this and in the end wrote her a letter to say that no noise was definitely not coming from my house and that I was very happy to discuss this at a further date or speak to a carer instead (as she has some visits from a cleaner a couple of times a week and support from a handyman).

This morning I heard her in her garden again complaining about me to another neighbour and my patience is wearing thin. I am a very quiet individual and made allowances due to her age but now I am seriously fed up with her knocking on the wall and bad-mouthing me.

Also when she knocks I always worry that she might have fallen down and might need help which is really causing me stress.

would I be unreasonable to report this situation to social services so she can get medical help and potential reassess whether she is really able to live on her own?

My Aunt did this to her neighbour although Aunt lived with husband so was resolved quite quickly, it was her dementia she has audible hallucinations, this might be happening with your neighbour either speak to her cleaner about it or perhaps other neighbours who probably don't for a minute think you are making noise.

Sorry, yes i think it is fine to speak to social services about it.

Does she have any family that you can contact and voice your concerns?

I would report to social services. Shes obviously got hallucinations.

I don't think she has any family so there is no one I can really talk to and I am usually working when she has a cleaner/carer in.

Thank you everyone so far.

I will contact social services. I was hoping to talk to her or a cleaner directly but if it is not possible I might have no other option...

This happened to one of our neighbours. We noticed when he told one of us that he was driving down to the station to collect his sister, who was arriving to visit his mum who was being noisy upstairs. Both had been dead for years! We took his keys and called an ambulance - it was a UTI. Very common symptom in older people I am told.

My Mum was convinced her neighbours were talking about her, calling the police on her, lots of things. She had Alzheimers, and her delusions got worse, sadly. I think this is probably the case with your neighbour

I was thinking about a UTI as well as I read that it could lead to this symptoms.

My concerns is that she is not getting the medical help she needs at the moment and that the neighbours who chat to her and the cleaner/carer are not doing anything to help/not picking up on it.

She used to be very independent and friendly so something is clearly happening.

Unfortunately the cleaner / carer will be on strictly tight hours that probably mean there isn't enough interaction with her to spot anything. With our neighbour it took us a few weeks to realise / put it together, and we had known him for quite a long time.

Definitely worth a call to social services. This is how my grandmas dementia started then she went on to accuse her neighbours of murder it got so bad the hallucinations and it all started because she thought she could hear her neighbours talking and plotting through a concrete wall.

Thank you everyone. I will contact social services and share my concerns.

Definitely contact SS. Her behaviour is not ok either so that needs to be stopped as well as her getting the help she needs

I suffer from musical hallucinations and they are pretty weird! I also have tinnitus and they are linked.

one type is where you here an indistinguishable sound that your brain tries to make sense of and fills in the gaps and creates a musical sound.

https://tinnitus.org.uk/understanding-tinnitus/what-is-tinnitus/types-of-tinnitus/musical-hallucination-musical-tinnitus/

could also be UTI/ dementia / other medical need.

I would stress to SS it’s urgent as UTI can lead to urinery sepsis in elderly and confusion is one sign

I’m not sure if you already knew that so apologies if overstepping!

NOT medical person at all. Just personal experience of relatives with this .

I think your neighbour has tinnitus. It’s common to hear it at night when it’s quiet. I’ve come across neighbour arguments like this when the person has tinnitus.
i don’t know what you can do about it, it depends how well you get on. She would benefit from having some low level noise in her bedroom (eg a white noise machine) which will help conceal the sounds she is hearing and prevent her from thinking it’s coming from you. Is this something you could suggest to her?

Do you know which GP surgery shed be registered with?

You can contact them and tell them she seems to be having hallucinations, they obviously won't tell you anything about her, but they can receive information from you and invite her in for a check up.

Eta: I had a relative who was completely deaf for decades, and later developed dementia - she could suddenly 'hear' the upstairs neighbours arguing, and moving furniture at all hours - she lived on the top floor!

To update people on this thread: I have managed to speak to her son in law when he visited her.

He said he actually called social services this week because the family is aware of her decline and they already visited and offered daily carers or a placement in a home.

The issue is that this lady is refusing further help or to go into a home which is what she really needs at this stage...

Her son in law did try to explain to her that I had nothing to do with the noise and that she should be more careful of not bothering any of her neighbours with knocking on party walls or relying too much on them for support (apparently one of the neighbour is visiting her regularly for support and company).

He has given me the contact details of her son as well who has power of attorney.

So I don't think there is much more I can do and at least I have established contact with her relatives and shared my concerns and made it clear there was no disturbing noise or music coming from my house.

Least they are aware of the situation now it doesn't sound easy for them, but you have a point of contact so you can speak to them.

Maybe speak to the son and explain it is likely to be tinnitus (given her age and likelihood of having a hearing loss). He could buy her a white noise generator or she could put a radio on at night. Eg https://puretone.shop/product/relaxation-therapy-ball-2/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22474676156&gclid=CjwKCAjw7_DEBhAeEiwAWKiCCxol2TvuxCvrRLJn-MI42-7DcI4zbsH1DXL9rbQh2DVNIbMG4wRuShoC_RcQAvD_BwE