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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed that husband is leaving me and toddler with crappy car

40 replies

Bitesize89 · 11/08/2025 13:01

My DH is going away for a lads weekend 5 hour drive away this weekend. We have two cars but one of them is very old and has had issues in the past and we just got a new car recently. He told me this morning btw I'm going to take the new car this weekend I'm a bit annoyed as I'll be alone with a three year old all weekend I'm not from the UK and don't have any family around and only one close friend with a car. If something were too happen or I need the car to do activities around town I would rather have the reliable car as id be stuck with a three year old. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable though?

OP posts:
Booksandcheese · 11/08/2025 13:04

So you want your DH to drive 5 hours away in an unreliable car? Surely you can get around the town on public transport.

AuntieDolly · 11/08/2025 13:05

I think if he has to drive 5 hours he needs the reliable car

CointreauVersial · 11/08/2025 13:06

Agree, YABU.

Allswellthatendswelll · 11/08/2025 13:06

I mean it depends on how bad the car is. If you literally can't trust it to get you to soft play and back then it probably needs scrapping anyway.

As he's doing a 5 hour drive he does almost certainly need the good car!

Hopefully he will be looking after LO, so you can also have some time to yourself, when he gets back from his trip.

Icanttakethisanymore · 11/08/2025 13:06

It would be madness for him to take the unreliable car on a long journey.

frozendaisy · 11/08/2025 13:06

Just get everything you need in and have a fun local weekend with toddler

frozendaisy · 11/08/2025 13:07

Icanttakethisanymore · 11/08/2025 13:06

It would be madness for him to take the unreliable car on a long journey.

Completely agree

MidnightPatrol · 11/08/2025 13:07

YABU.

Anononony · 11/08/2025 13:07

So you don't trust the car to run an errand or to work in an emergency but you expect it to be perfectly fine for 2 x 5 hour journeys? YADBU

HoppingPavlova · 11/08/2025 13:09

What everyone else has said😀.

NoSoupForU · 11/08/2025 13:09

It would be absolute lunacy to have him take an unreliable car on a long distance drive. You don't even have plans as you've said just in case you decide to do activities locally, which you can manage with the older car or probably without a car at all. If something happens to the older car it'll be much easier for you to get home.

YABU.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 11/08/2025 13:09

Of course the reliable car goes on the 5 hour journey.

Meadowfinch · 11/08/2025 13:09

Presumably you have a breakdown service.

If not, make it a condition of your DH taking the good car. If you have an unreliable car, you should have one anyway.

CriticalOverthinking · 11/08/2025 13:10

Yabu, you’re staying local so walk, get a bus or taxi. It’s a couple of days with your own child.
You can’t expect your dh to drive 10 hours in a car so unreliable you won’t use it for a short trip.

although it sounds like you want him to cancel the trip

WinterContigency · 11/08/2025 13:11

I am not sure if you are annoyed more about the old car or the fact that your guy left you for a whole weekend alone with a three year old.

Can you do the same? For example ask him next week to look after the kid while you have some girls only night in the other side of the country. Even with the crappy car (:

SomeOfTheTrouble · 11/08/2025 13:11

Is there currently an issue with the old car, or are you just worried that there might be?
I think YABU. Your DH needs a reliable car for such a long journey.

Bitzee · 11/08/2025 13:13

It’s frankly a bit ridiculous to suggest that you can’t do local journeys because the car is so unreliable but that it would be ok if DH drove it for 5 hours. Obviously he needs the reliable car with that length of journey. If the old car is a bad as you say it is then just stay close to home or use public transport. It’s one weekend. You’ll be fine. But if it really is so bad then you may as well sell it for scrap for all the use it is.

Bitzee · 11/08/2025 13:13

(removed duplicate post)

Arlanymor · 11/08/2025 13:15

You don’t have plans - he does and his involve him driving for 10 hours minimum. You don’t want the unreliable car in case it breaks down locally (even though you currently have no plans to drive this weekend) but you’re happy for him to potentially breakdown 250 miles away from your home? YABU. If you feel anxious then make your weekend plans that do not involve the need to drive.

scrimblescramble · 11/08/2025 13:17

To me it sounds like you're bitter because he's gone away and now you're stuck with a three year old. I can't understand why you think it would be better for your DH to drive a 5 hour journey in an unreliable car?

SomeOfTheTrouble · 11/08/2025 13:20

stuck with a 3 year old

She’s your daughter, and it’s one weekend! Is there nowhere nearby you can walk to? A playground or something?

purplecorkheart · 11/08/2025 13:22

I would prefer him to have the reliable car in case something did happen and you need him to get back quickly. I also would want him to have a car with him so he can come back early if required rather than carpooling with a friend.

Just make sure you have the shopping in and plan easy to get to activities.

myheadsjustmush · 11/08/2025 13:22

For a 5 hour drive you need a reliable car!

YABU

Trickabrick · 11/08/2025 13:23

Yeah what they all said, he totally needs the reliable car for a 5 hour journey. Worst case scenario, your crappy car breaks down and you call a cab or use public transport to get home.

NidaNearby · 11/08/2025 13:23

Presumably if he was to take the unreliable car and it broke down and he was stranded somewhere, you’d have to drive however many hours to get him, toddler in tow?

Plus, if it does break down, it’ll be much easier to deal with near to home.