Holiday club and sunglasses

[beemamare]

My son has ADHD and ASD. He lives in sunglasses. Finds bright lights difficult (especially the sun) and to be honest I like him to wear them anyway because of the UV protection. If we forget them he has been known to have meltdowns because the sun 'hurts his eyes'. It's such an easy win for us so I now have pairs everywhere. Dropped him at holiday club today and they've immediately said no sunglasses in case something hits him in the face. We had a discussion about how kids wear glasses for eyesight are allowed (to be honest I think children should be encouraged to wear sunglasses anyway, but that wasn't my argument). They took the sunglasses in with them and are going to speak with the manager. I had to go as I was late for work. Now worrying so going to call for an update. AIBU to think he should just be allowed to wear the sunglasses?

Surely it’s less likely something will hit him in the face if he can actually see outside in the bright sunshine though…?

Also, kids sunglasses aren’t made of glass which will shatter in his face so injuries are not more likely with vs without sunglasses.

I hate these stupid rules that have no rhyme nor reason but are stuck to religiously.

Right! I worry so much about my eyes as eye problems run in my family, and they are also very light in colour so always have my sunglasses on. I am personally thrilled he always wants to wear them!

Use the phrase "reasonable adjustments for his disability", that should work!

What a completely random policy. Exactly what do they think will happen to him if he gets hit in the face whilst wearing sunglasses...

Seems a complete over reaction.

Is it possible they’re challenging it because they think he actually copes fine without them? How old is your son and are you thinking he’ll wear sunglasses around school when the time comes?

My kids don’t have autism but have meltdowns when something happens that they don’t like or haven’t chosen, that can be normal behaviour. Easing him off the glasses will be positive. They’re not glasses to enable him to see so that’s not really a true comparison and wearing sunglasses around school will affect him socially when the time comes.

It sounds like he went in fine so I would just let them try. “Fitting in” is important for kids socially so I can’t see what the harm in trying is.

He didn't go in fine. It took my 25 mins to get him in. Comparing meltdowns in NT kids because they don't get what they want compared with an autistic child who has a meltdown because he is overstimulated by the sun, and has a very easy and simple way of preventing that (wearing sunglasses) is also not a true comparison. Sorry it's just not the same.

And there is not a hope in hell that I will be telling him he can't have something that helps him because he 'won't fit in'. He barely wears them indoors, only when it is very bright (for example in the glass shopping mall near us). I don't see an issue with him having sunglasses outdoors.

@SunnySideDeepDown
1 - He's wearing sunglasses in summer, not wrapping himself in tinfoil from head to foot, the other kids will barely notice.
2 - If he's at summer camp then he's already at school.
3 - That's not how autism works.

School are completely fine with it. In fact they send out newsletters and regularly encourage children to wear sunscreen, hats and sunglasses!

They’re not glasses to enable him to see so that’s not really a true comparison

Sunglasses DO allow people with photophobia to see in the sun.
It's hard to even open your eyes, let alone take in the surroundings and have a lovely day. It's painful.

OP - Clubs like this are usually run by young students following a set of arbitrary rules. It's a reasonable adjustment to let him wear his sunnies, hopefully they'll understand that - there's no additional risk to a normal set of specs.

Thank you, I didn't know there was a name for it!

Just tell the club that they are prescription and he needs them to see? It’s a stupid policy, kids sunglasses are all plastic, the make up is no different to eye glasses and they’re perfectly appropriate wear for the outdoors in summer so I’d be fine with a white lie.

Just say reasonable adjustment a lot until someone stops talking. They have a responsibility to find the best ways your son can thrive in their setting and this is an easy adjustment that requires nothing from them.

My daughter is autistic and has a few very slight adjustments around uniform and suncream. It's hard to explain the impact on these tiny things on children who have sensory challenges so just stick with their legal requirements and they should accommodate it.

I think it would be an obvious lie though because he doesn't wear regular glasses indoors?

Or you can just take him elsewhere? If that’s the rules.

Tell them they are prescription sunglasses!

I wouldn't lie about them being prescription, as you say OP if he doesn't need spectacles then it's pretty obvious they're not prescription anyway.
As others have said it's a reasonable adjustment for him.

Reasonable adjustments for autism are modifications or adaptations made to a person's environment or routine to reduce barriers and ensure they can participate fully in activities like work, education, or healthcare. These adjustments aim to accommodate individual needs arising from autism, a neurodevelopmental condition.

Reasonable adjustments for autistic individuals often include accommodations for light sensitivity, and sunglasses can be a valuable tool. Allowing the use of sunglasses, especially in environments with bright or flickering fluorescent lights, can significantly improve focus and reduce discomfort. Other adjustments might involve changes to the lighting itself, such as using lamps or low lighting, or moving to a space with more natural light.

Why Sunglasses?
Reduced Light Sensitivity:
Many autistic individuals experience heightened sensitivity to light, including flickering fluorescent lights or bright sunlight.

I got hit in the face by a hard American football while I was wearing glasses. The frame cut above my eyes, on the bridge of my nose, blood ran down my face, much to the consternation of the ball thrower ! I felt quite woozy, and had a black eye the next day too.!
However, this was the only time anything like this has happened so I really can’t see a problem wearing glasses, sounds like the pros outweigh the cons.

Almost grown up DS needs sunglasses all year round except for the dullest day. From very small, maybe age 2 it was clear that bright light was really uncomfortable for him. Optician said there was nothing wrong with his eyes and he has no diagnosis.

However it’s clear he needs the sunglasses and I and have written this, along with allergy info on every single school/club form and he has been allowed to wear them, even inside if he needs to.

It is a perfectly reasonable adjustment that makes him able to be comfortable. It’s not a fashion statement.

Just last week a lady in the park told me it sounded like photophobia which she wears special sunglasses for.

Write it on the health forms is my advice.

I'm an adult with no ND & live in my sunglasses throughout the year. Ive also been known to wear them at work in an office if I've felt it's been 'too bright' in the office.

I suffer from extremely bad migraines caused by light sensitivity & I give not one shit about what anyone else thinks about me wearing sunglasses all year round.

I also can't be near flicking lights (I've more than once had to request a fluorescent tube light be changed or removed to stop it flicking), my kids were never allowed those flicking lights swords etc & generally no one cares after I've explained that i am extremely photo sensitive.

Id be clear to the club that your son needs to wear them due to his disability (i do hate labelling like this but that word but it's one they will recognise) & wearing sunglasses is his reasonable adjustment.

To be honest, they probably have banned them as they don't want to be responsible for them being broken or lost by kids at the club whose parents then insist on them being replaced (especially if they claim they were ray bans etc).

Good luck & hold your ground.

I can't, because I have paid for it and it's non refundable. He has SEN and the reason we chose it is because his friends are there, so he's comfortable.

Your post read as though he wears them indoors. He doesn’t “live in them” if he only wears them outdoors in the summer!

Don't mis portray a situation and then blame me for responding to that.

So he wants to wear his sunglasses outdoors in the summer? That’s completely reasonable and lots of children want to do the same.

Even if he did wear them all the time indoors because he needed to, that's also fine so your point doesn't really stand. You still suggested taking a reasonable adjustment away from an autistic child so they would 'fit in' and compared an autistic meltdown to a NT child throwing a tantrum 🙄

Being autistic doesn’t mean you always get what you want. And it shouldn’t if it’s going to be of detriment to the child. Why would you actively promote your child wearing sunglasses in school indoors rather than work with him to wean off them?

Autistic children can adapt too, you aren’t doing him any favours if you never try to work with him to help him socially.

It's crazy to me that anyone would ban a child from wearing sunglasses when adults can wear them whenever they need. Kids eyes are just as sensitive! Reminds me of school on the 90's/00's where you weren't allowed to have a drink in the classroom or corridor and could only consume liquids at break and lunch, no matter how thirsty you were! Insane.

As an aside, I have light blue eyes and I have yo wear sunnies even on bright cloudy days- especially when driving.