To feel upset about this comment

[Drenato]

My father came to stay this weekend. We had a couple of other relatives over at the same time.

Making conversation after a meal, we started discussing my dog and her age/ eating habits. I commented that I thought she (the dog) might have put on a bit of weight recently, possibly due to getting older etc, my father immediately chipped in with the punchline 'Well, so have you!'.

I immediately felt embarrassed and didn't find it that funny, other relatives looked a bit awkward and uncomfortable. I quipped back a sarcastic 'oh, thanks' type response and convo moved on.

Reflecting back, it stung a bit and I've suddenly remembered other shaming comments over the years, eg telling me I looked like Micheal Jackson in my prom photos (I was a pale and skinny 16 year old).

I don't necessarily think it comes from a place of malice, more complete emotional immaturity and thinking shaming type jokes are funny. Similar comments are made to my siblings eg one hasn't had a partner in a while and this was brought up in a similar jokey way.

I've always struggled with my confidence and had therapy for this issue over the years and when little incidents like this happen, it dawns on me it's no bloody wonder I have trouble feeling good about myself when I grew up like this.

Am I overreacting? I just don't know why my weight was brought into convo when we were just chatting about the dog.

I am so sorry, OP.. My mum constantly makes upsetting comments about my weight and it's so upsetting l.

If it was just me and him, I might have found it funny but I think other relatives being there made it so awkward. Don't see them often and there's not same sort of relationship, was also first time father had met them so think they were a bit taken aback by the 'joke'

It's horrible isn't it? I have a DD and can't imagine doing that

In a way I see where you are coming from. You father by now should have picked up that you are not comfortable with that type of joke.

As a family both mine and my wife we can be sharpe and cutting with each other...with my mates I always say you can't say anything that offends me because my oldest mates are far far far worse.
However, are you Tefal.? ie you give it but can't take it...last Christmas my sil (who is disliked for so many reasons) started a joke about her mum who's in her 90s finding a new man...her brother said that sil should get on grinder...we then all started on him because grinder is for gay men...to be met with an outburst from sil how she's missing her dead husband (yeah right you were going to divorce him) and it was dreadful you suggested she get someone else... then we pointed out she started things for more bollox to come out of her...

I see what you mean. There is a bit of family banter sometimes with father, siblings and if it was just them there it would have been different vibe perhaps.

But we were with these other relatives from another part of the family that my father doesn't really know so for him to say something in that context, it felt a bit inappropriate and awkward. I felt embarrassed - for myself but also for him.