Doubts at leaving my husband

[BroomBroomStick]

Has anyone doubted or hugely regretted leaving their husband and splitting the family up? It is very early days for me and I did have a good reason for leaving, however now that I’m on the other side it is equally shitty or even more so. My life is now 100 times more complicated, my family is broken and I am living with huge regrets. My life was comfortable and we could get along but I left due to ex’s shitty behaviour. Our little family was together and yes not perfect but not the catastrophic mess that it is now!

But on the other side my life is now even shittier!

My parents are very upset and the impact on my teenager is horrible. My mil hates my guts and I’m grieving my family home. Oldest prefers it there as it is all he has ever known. Nothing feels right. Again left due to ex’s behaviour towards me but I doubt myself all the time. My life is now so much harder, lonelier and difficult.

Has anyone regretted leaving a bad marriage?

It will get easy @BroomBroomStick. If you go back your exs shitty behaviour will escalate. Your MIL will still hate you. Your parents will still be frisson with you for putting them through a separation Nd going back. The reasons you left haven't magically gone away. Stop looking back and start to look forward and build your future.

Thank you. If I listed the reasons why I left you would tell me to run and never look back. It is early days but I’m mourning my old home and family life. It’s very hard.

It’s normal to have regrets and wonder whether you’ve made the right choice. But you’ve made the decision now and it can’t go back to how it was before. It sounds like that’s a good thing for you.
Give yourself time, it will get better once the emotions calm down for all involved.

Could you list some reasons that you left OP so we can make you realise how not okay it was? Even if a breakup is for the best it feels like a massive change and full of doubt, but it WILL get better.

I've never been through a divorce but would imagine it gets worse before it gets better (which it will).
Why are your parents upset? You've left a man who treated you badly, they should be happy you're away from him. Perhaps if they were more supportive you'd feel less alone. It sounds as though you don't have anyone in your corner which must be really hard, particularly when you've had to leave the family home too.
I would suggest writing down the list of reasons you left and refer back to it whenever you doubt yourself

Thank you everyone. I am so full of doubt and everything is chaotic and uncertain at the moment. Because I was the one to end my marriage and leave the family home I have been torturing myself ever since at the impact my decision has had on everyone’s lives. Everything feels complicated and shite right now. I did have good reasons based on his terrible behaviour but life doesn’t feel any better, it is worse!

I know things will eventually settle down but life feels very hard, I had a nice comfortable life before.

op please give yourself grace and patience

You might have said the words to end it, but his actions certainly led to it and he is as (if not more) responsible than you.
your parents, in-laws and even kids will not know your relationship as you did, and have no right to be ‘furious’ or otherwise.
all in good time …

It’s bound to be absolutely horrible at this stage. You’re in shock and grieving. You could try just getting through an hour at a time for the first 6 months then see if it feels a bit better. It will, but give it time and kindness.