To move house again?

[burntoranges]

I’m trying to weigh up pros and cons and really struggling, some outsider perspectives needed!

I rent a lovely house in a seaside village, but rent is around double what I’d be in a mortgage. I’m waiting for the buyout process to be complete on my previous property (ex still lives there) but my payout will be very small - long story and not relevant. Properties in this village are expensive and go quickly, and all I could get would be a smallish 2 bed flat. Schools are lovely and catchment area for secondary is one of the best schools in the area. I have one DD who hasn’t yet started primary.

Parents live an hour away and I have zero support network here. Limited friends. But I love it here.

DD’s dad lives around 40 mins away in a seaside town, not as nice as my village but it’s okay. Property prices are MUCH cheaper. I could get a lovely flat or semi detached house there, have DD’s dad around for when dd starts school, and his parents also live there. I have friends near there with kids same age as DD, so more of a support network.

Do I carry on paying a fortune in rent to stay here and try scrape together a deposit for a not so nice property in a lovely village with little support, or move to a town I like less to a property I like more, but have worse schools and be further away from my own parents? I’m so torn and feel like I can’t think rationally and I’m letting emotions get in the way.

I wouldn’t move to an area with worse schools and further away from my own family.
If all you will have there is Ex & PIL, how much support would you actually get? It might not be as much as you hope, or what they initially promise.
Is moving near your own parents an option?

Has your current preferred village got the potential for new friendships, or is it more closed?

How well do you get on with your ex and his parents?

@HauntedDreams ex would likely want to do 50/50 compared to the EOW he does now due to logistics of work/where I live meaning he can’t do 50/50. I don’t want to move nearer my own parents as where they live is much worse for schools etc, and it’s even further away from my ex which would make it more difficult for him to see DD. I have other friends in the area where ex lives and DD has friends from her old nursery etc as we used to live there before I moved here.

@PersephoneSeethes its quite a small place, I have some acquaintances via nursery so could potentially build on those friendships for school etc. I just feel like I have v little in the way of a support system and worried how that will look once DD starts school.

I would stay in the place you love and that has decent schools but look at buying a smaller property.

Nothing wrong with a 2 bed flat especially if you can get one with a garden.

I mean schooling is important but so is time with her father and family. Do you have an ok situation with your ex and IL ? If so it would be so much easier not to be travelling to them, don't underestimate how important that support is.

I'd move, enjoy the lovely house and the time DD can easily have with her dad and other family. Then visit the old village as a treat sometimes.

I have a good relationship with DD’s dad and his parents, so it would be nice to have that support and there is definitely the appeal of being able to afford a decent house there, rather than something less than ideal here… I mean, I could carry on renting here but it’s not a longterm solution as it’s so expensive. :(

Move to where better support to raise your daughter will be. You never know what might be round the corner re health so best to have someone else you trust close by for her. I’d want guarantees dad would def be stepping up if you make the move though.

Re schools we live in a deprived region of UK but my oldest just graduated from a very good uni doing biomedical science and has already started a graduate job. What other people may view as bad schools may not be so true and. aslong as you support them and teach them respect for education they will do fine.