Sen families and holidays

[Mountainsfar]

This is more of a curious and reflective question than anything else. I’m a SEN parent myself and I know first-hand how challenging it can be to keep a job, manage childcare, and balance everything especially when reliable childcare is harder to find and routines can be tricky.

I often see other SEN families going on several holidays a year, and I just wonder how you make it work — whether you’re single parents or have a partner. Is it through careful saving? Family support? Using discounts? Flexible work setups?

I know SEN children may receive DLA, but even with that, the costs can add up quickly.

I’d love to hear real experiences, as I’m trying to figure out if there’s a way to make something similar work for my own family in the future.

Thanks

Same as everyone else. Earn enough money and cutting back in other places.

I know a couple of parents who have a child/ children who have SEN but are also high earners (some of them are also single parents).
I guess everyone's situation is different, the same for parents of kids who don't have SEN.

Careful saving/planning mostly. I have two kids with (different) complex needs. We have weekends away every couple of months and two bigger holidays. I’m a single parent so my two also have times away with their dad, we both earn well and prioritise getting away for breaks over other things we could spend on.

I have a full time well paid job. Same with DH. I appreciate though that not all families with kids with SEN would be able to do that though.

I do find looking at other people’s holidays a bit depressing though. No chance of us all sitting reading on the beach or playing fucking UNO…

My husband has a well paid full time job, I have a decently paid part time job. We manage it the same way as most I guess, by saving for holidays. We had a week away at Easter, 2 weeks at the beginning of the summer holidays and are having a week away at October half term. We have 2 other children too so have to balance everyone’s needs.

Literally don't make it work.
We get DLA but she won't leave the house for a holiday. We manage to stay with family, in a large house so she can hide, and that's it. Never been abroad, self catering, hotel etc.
It's a pity as me and my son want to go to Italy but she won't budge, and we'd miss the flight.

I thought this was gonna be a thread about how to manage to going on holiday at all, not how people afford multiple holidays! We don’t manage holidays - DS can’t cope.

I'm confused as to how this is related to Sen? Most or your Q seems to be related to financing?

Just to clarify I realise my wording might have made it sound like I’m purely asking about money, but what I’m really interested in is how SEN families manage to go on holiday in the first place, just feels very whelming.

Lots of people have mentioned careful planning, which I can see is a big part of it. For us, it’s not just the cost — it’s also the challenges around routines, sensory issues, finding suitable accommodation, and getting time off work without everything unravelling.

My DD could potentially cope with a holiday in the future, but right now I’m trying to learn from others’ experiences so we can work towards it. There’s also the extra factor of planning for spending money, anticipating both her needs and my other child’s needs, before and during the trip.

It’s never occurred to you that some people earn more/have a higher disposable income than you? Or that some people prioritize travel over things like cars, eating out, brand name clothing, etc? Having SEN children has nothing to do with it. There are minimum wage earners with SEN children, and millionaires with SEN children.

Have you read my last post? Actually my husband is a high earner.

Planning and trial and error, for now. We are doing two trips this summer - one very relaxed in the UK, a holiday rental, and my in laws coming along to help. We go out a few hours a day and mostly eat in. Then a more ambitious three day trip to Disneyland Paris. This will be tough but we will set strict routines for the days and hope for the best.

It’s always a balance between giving our autistic son what he needs, and what the other two kids need. We can’t stay in hotels so always need to find a house/flat/cabin. We try not to fly unless under 3 hours.

Well as far as annual leave goes, we just book it like everyone else does I guess. Spending money… well we save for it, same as for the holiday.
We book a self catering villa with a pool rather than a hotel/AI as my autistic child wouldn’t cope with people around constantly.

Cheap haven trips too term time can be done for 150 for a weekend. We tend to go close to home as to kids its away anyway and gets used to being elsewhere. Abroad every other year.
I think the more my sen child is exposed to new experiences the better. If I do what we've always done, he will never have the opportunity to develop. My son hates crowds, noise, queues.. we could avoid them but reality is one day he will need to cope without me so the more I can safely expose him and let him know he's safe in those situations the better. Thankfully he loves water so that reduces tension with crowds and his focus shifts. Social stories are very useful. My son used to find grocery shopping super overwhelming, for ages he stayed home with dad instead. Then I realised I was making matters worse and just kept taking him. He now happily walks round with me helping (in his own way).
Sunflower lanyards for airports very useful. Plenty of snacks and some airlines let you take a case for free of it's for disability reasons or a disability buggy etc. Every child is different but for me it's weighing up, what's the worst that could happen. Meltdowns or more etc and do the potential benefits outweigh them. Advice would be start with a local trip and for flights a short one

I don't know if the rules are still the same, but when dd1 was smaller, we used to get a voucher every year from the Family Fund. We'd put it towards a Haven holiday usually, but you can use it to go abroad too.

https://www.familyfund.org.uk/

We often go to the same places. We choose locations carefully and we take lots of board games, switch, watch tv etc, we dont spend every day out doing things. When kids were younger we often took their own duvets and food. We often order from sainsburys if in uk so that food is the same. We dont expect it to be easy or relaxing!!

Practically we book special assistance at the airports. We also ensure there is WiFi where we are staying, bring his favourite breakfast cereal, eat in family places, bring iPad headphones and recently hired a special needs buggy to help with refusal to walk.

DS is 11 and do a mix of abroad and UK. Self catering is a must, to cater to his dietary needs. We also find this set up more relaxing as we’re not bound by set meal times, getting dressed up.

We also like familiarity of the same place. Regular visitor to one campsite in France which we know inside out. Much easier to settle and know what facilities are there.

We've done city breaks too and managed. Good luck x

Social stories
Watching video of where we are going
Only going to the same brands eg premiere inn, ASK or pizza express, TUI Blue.
Creating a daily time table
Ear defenders/ear loops
Lots of sensory breaks and quiet time for one child with lots of physical input.
Plus all the usual tricks we need to survive the day.

Tons of planning and research. Ridiculous amounts of preparation and packing. Down to looking at individual menus and figuring out what people will be able to eat. Working out transportation plans in detail. I make a binder with every single detail and it goes with us when we travel. Everyone in our family has some sort of disability or need that has to be met so it is a huge amount of planning. I find it incredibly stressful because I have ASD so being out of my comfort zone and put in charge of all of it is not remotely enjoyable, especially since I am also dealing with an actual disability that makes travel difficult simultaneously. It would be easier if dc was remotely interested in a lay by the pool kind of holiday but she would go insane, so it’s go-go-go city breaks or amusement parks for us.

when we get home I collapse and have to recover for several days. I have taken to booking extra time off work just for that purpose.