AIBU to be offended if not invited to a meal out

[IntoTheBreech]

My DH and I have a social group in village and we all take turns in hosting Fri night get togethers. We post if we are going down the local etc. Last week we turned up at said local and a few couples were already there and said they were eating out. Another person arrived and said "sorry I'm late" so obviously pre arranged on a different wasap group. We decided following our afterthought invite not to eat (we are a bit short of money) AIBU to feel a bit snubbed ?

If everybody in the social group were there and not you, then that's not nice.

But if it were only a few of them, then that's fine. You are not all joined at the hip.

I hate going to the pub in a large group as it takes forever to get served. If you were the only couple omitted then it’s a snub if only half the couples there then you overthought it and are in danger of losing the friends you have by trying to control them.

This, the stress of not being able to speak or see one or a few of 'the group' without having to invite everyone would be a nightmare!
Have you NEVER met up without everyone?

I would find it hurtful too but I'm trying to over my sensitivity to this kind of thing as it happens. Try not to take it personally.

Was it the whole group or just a few of them?

So a few people who are also local to you decided to have a meal. They are allowed to do that without you, for whatever reason they want. You turned up at the pub and they invited you to join them but you declined because you don't have much spare cash right now.

Mountain out of molehill?

Yes they were all there apart from one single lady who posted she didn't know they were going and none of them at local following week . . Tbh they have a lot more money and drink considerably more than us . We only stay a few hours and they will be there all night . I wish it didn't bother me because it's trivia 🙄

Yes I know. Like I say I wish it didn't bother me 😂

Your last post sounds (to be a true mnetter..) a tad judgy there....?
Drinking more, longer in the pub than you...
Maybe that comes across?

Did you post that you were going?

This seems a popular subject very recently there seems to be a few, no we dont need to be invited to everything

You have answered your own question.

They were going to have a long and, probably, expensive session and knew that it's not your thing.

It is hurtful to be left out, but it's also annoying to HAVE to invite someone that you know who probably won't stay, possibly can't afford it anyway, but who will get mardy if not included in everything. Don't be that person.

Put a message on the group to say "hope they had a great time and how drunk did Nigel get? Did he manage to walk home without falling over Mrs McGinty's hedge this time? " or words to that effect.

Thank you. I need to get much better at that . I do reflect on how I react and try to not be bothered as you are absolutely right. It's definitely not personal.They just didn't think 🤗

they just didn't think what do you mean by this? Like it's a failing on their part not to think of you in everything they do?

I think you are right it did sound judgy. I'm really not and I really like a drink myself , I just can't last as long 😂

Well they thought of everyone else

Well they thought of everyone else. Good point I didn't.

Good point I did not

Yes I've already put on that the food looked amazing and hope they enjoyed the eve. I think I've head it off at the pass. Thankyou

So it went from "a few couples and one person turned up" to "all the couples bar us and 1 woman"?

Smaller groups of friends within a larger friend group are allowed to make other plans