Anyone else's dh act like this

[Parent2ateen]

So myself and DS decided to do a day trip to Liverpool. Dh didn't want to go so we booked our flight from Dublin to Liverpool and flew over yesterday. Got the first flight out and last one home. We had a great day that was until we got home. Dh hasn't really spoken to me since. He asked DS how he got on but when DS started going into detail he didn't really pay attention.
With me all he has done is point out stuff that's needs doing in the house (jobs for both of us not just me).
He does this a lot when I do something. He has no interest in what I've done and then barely speaks when I get back. He never wants to do days out and DS is at the age where if he agrees to do something with me I'm gonna jump at the chance to spend the day with him.
Really pissed off with him now. Ruins everything.

Hi op. Unfortunately this isnt a good sign based on your post. Its not normal but im sure there's many others who act like this. Are you able to talk to him, and tell him exactly how you feel? Is therapy an option ? Dont waste the years like this. Time is precious.

Not to be dramatic but it sounds a bit emotionally abusive eg ignoring or dismissing you for having the audacity to enjoy yourself. He’s probably hoping you will pander to him as a result of him ignoring you.

Absolutely not. I agree with the previous posters, this is emotional abuse. Not fair on you and not fair on your son. What a miserable, nasty brat your husband is.

No, my dh is an adult not a child.

I've just got back from an impromptu five day break to Spain. I booked it the day before I flew because my DP didn't want to do an overnight anywhere and I needed a change of routine. It hasn't been an issue. We've had honest conversations about what we want our lives to look like and for me, that includes travel.

Anytime I bring it up he uses the same excuse "I'm tired!!! Easy know you don't work". Yes he works and does shift but he chose the hours to suit himself. (Before anyone asks why I don't work I'm off sick as I was in a car accident and my job gave me sick leave for the year, company doc signed me off for mental health. I'm going back after Christmas so wanted to do some fun things with ds while I could).
I do all the household chores, maintenance, paperwork. He basically gets up and goes to work comes home and sits in the chair. Rinse and repeat 5 days a week.
It's not just the sulking when I do days out he is the same when I'm not home when he gets in from work, if my family is here, he ignores them other then saying hello he just goes and plonks himself in front of the tv. My family now only comes to visit when they know he is at work as he makes them feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.
This was the first time he did it on DS. I asked DS if he wanted to do another day trip soon and he said it's not worth the hassle for you when we get home so he has ruined it for DS now as well.

So leave. This is your smaller and smaller future. Obviously not easy but this is your future and personally I think it sounds shit.

ExH did this. Please don’t let him suck the joy from your time with DS.

I do all the household chores, maintenance, paperwork. He basically gets up and goes to work comes home and sits in the chair. Rinse and repeat 5 days a week.
It's not just the sulking when I do days out he is the same when I'm not home when he gets in from work

What is the point in staying married to this shitty man?

What a horrible, joyless fun sponge he is. Also controlling. He wants you home and also doing fuck all except domestic drudge.

That’s your future if you stay with this miserable shit.

No, if I talk to him or one of the kids talk to him he listens intently. Even when he probably doesn’t care. I don’t think he actually gives a fuck about the Real Housewives franchise but he could probably give a presentation on it, because he even listens to me blithering on about it (guilty pleasure I know it’s bad). Your DH sounds joyless.

I think a good rule for life is ‘never wait for your happiness to totally run out before you make changes.’ This man needs to buck up and start adding something of value to your lives or be single again so he can be as grouchy and miserable as he likes.

An unhappy rotting marriage
the end

A year’s sick leave??? Are you being paid?

Yes, my ex DH did this. It wasn't even as if he wanted my company but he would sulk for days on end if I went out without him (like an occasional visit to a garden centre with my mother for example). He would also point out jobs I could have been doing instead.

No, even if I go out for the day by myself without the children he will have done the majority of the work in the house that needed to be done.

Think about how things will be when your son grows up and moves out, how does retirement with this man look to you?

You only have one life op.

No, Dh would never act like this. He would meet me at the door when he hears the key, take my bag whilst I get my coat off. Same with his sons. He would then make anyone who wanted it a drink, any food and would love to hear about what we have been doing.

This isn't even a recent marriage. Married 26 years. He sets an incredible example to our sons so for their future partners/wives, they will be brilliant.

He is punishing you for going so you won't do it again and it has worked on your son. He sees it. This is the point where you tell your son that it is even more of a reason to go and do more things together before you are back at work. That his Dad's behaviour will not spoil anything.