Is this bad enough to cut contact?

[KeenSnail]

I recently received a letter from an organisation to let me know of a data breach regarding my records.

It turns out a family member who was working for this organisation had been accessing my records without my consent or any valid reason.

It was obviously a mix of curiosity, being nosey and having the resources available.

I haven’t yet discussed this with the family member, I have no idea how to react really.

I feel so uncomfortable knowing they took it upon themselves to go behind my back to look through what is arguably
the most private and sensitive information about me.

I feel like explaining to this person that due to their betrayal, I cannot maintain a relationship with them. I just can’t see a way forward where I’d ever trust them or feel comfortable around them again.

For context, I’m not super close with this family member but as I have children I do make an effort to see them a few times a month.

Am I overreacting?

I would guess this person has been fired due to this data breach, this is probably punishment enough.

I think you have to discuss it with the person, see how it goes, if there is genuine remorse then maintain contact.

If it was me I’d have to speak to them about it as I’d want to see what they had to say about it. I don’t think I could continue a relationship with that person and I don’t agree that being fired is enough punishment,

You don’t need to justify going no contact to anyone for any reason.

For this I’d likely go no contact and go after their job.

Well, about a month before I got the letter informing me of the breach and the investigation this family member had told me they were having some time off work and after a few weeks they told me they weren’t going back.

At the time I obviously had no idea what was going on but I assume now that they were put on suspension and then either quit or were let go.

You need to tell them you are aware of what they did.
You don't have to go into any great detail just tell them you know and that you cannot continue any relationship going forward. There is no way you could ever trust them again.

Absolutely cut them off. I'd have to speak with them first to ask what the hell they thought they were doing!! 🤬

Yeah same
I assume they accessed your medical.records which is such an invasion of your privacy

Dear X

I understand from an official notification I have received that you have been formally disciplined for accessing my personal records without my consent or any reason for you to do so. I imagine this is why you are no longer working where you were. Obviously due to this horrific betrayal of my trust I will no longer be having any contact with you.

Regards

Yes I would cut them off. I would just do it with no explanation

if they do manage to get through then I would be honest and tell them about the letter and again block

Yep. Just stop all contact. If they ask, tell them you know and that is it.

Blimey you’re all very polite.

No one wanting to tell the family what she did? No one wanting to tell her to fuck off? Just me?

I would tell them I'd been informed of their breach of trust and ask them why they did it - their reaction and explanation would inform my decision whether or not to cut contact.

I would tell them that I know. No way can they go into my private information and then think because they left the job that they can carry on as normal with me and my kids. If they are stupid enough to risk their job due to nosiness (or power) then I wouldn't trust them with anything else.

I would meet them with another family member there, no kids, and bring it up. Listen to their version of events, hopefully they apologise. But my kids wouldn't be seeing them, I don't want that role model around my kids.

‘I’m not super close with this family member but as I have children I do make an effort to see them a few times a month’

To me, this (frequency of seeing them) suggests that the family member who did this is a parent or sibling? It seems you see them a lot despite not feeling close to them.

If so and they have otherwise been a good parent or sibling to you overall and been good to your DC I’d speak to them about it. And perhaps reduce rather than end contact.

If it’s a cousin, great uncle or something I’d most likely end contact.

MIL works at a doctors? Yes cut contact. Gross invasion of privacy.

It's brazen that they told you they were "having some time off" and then left their job, knowing full well why they were being investigated. They must know that you would have to be told. If it's private medical stuff they can't un know it and you can never recapture your privacy. It should be a crime. I would make sure everyone knows what they've done. They are totally untrustworthy. Can you sue them?