Reposting over from teenagers for traffic. Sorry if this is long I dont always know how to get the words right I’m autistic myself so sometimes I dont know if I’m over thinking or not.
My DS is 14 he is 15 in September. He’s autistic as well. In year 7 he was in a little group at school that met once a week to play board games and do talking stuff to help with confidence and social things. There was a boy there I will call him J. He’s about 2 years older than DS. J is 16 now and will be 17 in November.
Back then they got on and I thought it was nice he had a friend a bit older. But about a year later J got permanently excluded from school because he really badly assaulted a boy. DS said it was after football or something and the boy fell and broke his arm because of how he landed. J was sent to a PRU after that. I felt a bit uneasy but I still let him come over sometimes because I knew DS was here and safe. J would say the PRU was shit and he didn’t bother going and his mum didn’t care.
Fast forward to March this year DS met him after school and DS said J was in a bad mood and knocked DS phone out his hands and it smashed. DS said it was on purpose but J told him after he didn’t mean to. Next day J came over all apologetic and begged DS to still be his friend. DS agreed.
Since then it’s like J has got a tighter grip on DS. DS suddenly started saying J is his boyfriend. I have no issue at all with DS being gay if he is but I didn’t know before this. J wants to come over a lot and I’ve not felt like I can say no because DS gets upset. He eats tea here most nights and plays games.
The last couple of months DS has been taking money from me and I think J has told him to. DS says no but I just have a feeling. I didn’t think they were actually in a relationship but last night DS came home with love bites and when I asked he said they were just messing about. He also told me they were going to the cinema but I found out they actually went to J’s house which makes me feel weird about it. I know J smokes weed and DS has come home smelling funny a couple of times.
Other things I’ve noticed J will tell DS not to tell me stuff or say things like his mum doesn’t care what he does so why should I. Once I heard him say to DS that if he really loved him he would prove it.
I just don’t know if this is normal teenage friendship stuff or if DS is being taken advantage of and I’m scared of making a scene if it’s just nothing but it doesn’t feel right.