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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If someone blocks you, do you act nice to their face?

22 replies

sailboe · 09/08/2025 09:21

A family members wife has left him after their very long marriage of 20+ years and she has immediately blocked me, I’m surprised as I always thought we were close.

I am likely to see this ex in- law around especially as they have children but feel awkward that she’s blocked me as if she doesn’t need to be nice anymore now she’s not with him.
Would you be friendly if you saw them or distant?

I know this sounds immature, maybe I’m feeling hurt that someone I saw as close family for all my adult life has seemingly revealed it was all just pretend.
However we live in the same town so I will inevitably have to see her.

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 09/08/2025 09:29

Id think it's more likely that she's removed his family so that he can't see or hear about what she's posting, rather than it being personal about you.

NineTimesNine · 09/08/2025 09:32

Eenameenadeeka · 09/08/2025 09:29

Id think it's more likely that she's removed his family so that he can't see or hear about what she's posting, rather than it being personal about you.

Exactly. I wouldn’t take it personally. If it’s a friendship you value, contact her and make it clear you’d like to continue it.

InSpainTheRain · 09/08/2025 09:35

I wouldn't take it personally at all, especially in this case. If I met them I'd be nice but keep it light.

Tagyoureit · 09/08/2025 09:44

Just be polite then go from there.

QuarkQuarkPoshDuck · 09/08/2025 09:50

It won't be personal. They just want to keep links from their ex private which means blocking all family members.

Blocking someone on SM doesn't mean you're blocking them from your entire life.

YetanotherNC25 · 09/08/2025 09:54

I agree with PP’s she’s focusing on her privacy and starting a different life.
If you feel you’ve been friendly before, I can’t understand why you wouldn’t be polite to her?
Shes going through a difficult time, it’s not about you. Don’t make things harder by ignoring her in person, that reflects badly on you.

nmsi · 09/08/2025 10:06

I agree with the others that it's more to do with maintaining her privacy.
I blocked family members of my ex because I didn't want them looking at my social media and reporting back to him about what I was up to. I also didn't want to see their posts (such as photos of family events).

Just greet her as you normally would when you see her.

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 09/08/2025 10:14

It wouldn't occur to me to be unpleasant to someone who had blocked me.
I would be civil and polite, which would include smiling appropriately (eg at greeting etc).

TheSandgroper · 09/08/2025 13:59

Do not reward her behaviour by making a thing of it.

Basic politeness all the way.

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 09/08/2025 14:02

Eenameenadeeka · 09/08/2025 09:29

Id think it's more likely that she's removed his family so that he can't see or hear about what she's posting, rather than it being personal about you.

This. Don't take it personally

Branleuse · 09/08/2025 14:03

I'd see how she acted when we saw each other. I'd be polite-friendly , but probably slightly guarded.

Flamingoknees · 09/08/2025 14:14

I'd act perfectly normally - with no reference to the blocking - and probably an "Oh great to see you!" or "Hey, I've been thinking about you/missed you". Then see what her response is. She might assume blood is thicker than water etc. or just have felt she needed a clean break. How long has it been? If not long, she's likely feeling very raw and emotional and maybe awkward and unsure re how she is perceived by wider family. Has she blocked your mobile? This is almost certainly not about you.

GreyCarpet · 09/08/2025 14:16

Agree with pps. She's done this to protect herself not to punish you.

Snorlaxo · 09/08/2025 14:16

The most likely reason is privacy. Sometimes family members discuss what their exes post on social media and she doesn’t want the drama or possibility that you inform your relative where she’s been and who she’s hanging out with.

Newfigtree · 09/08/2025 15:16

Whilst I would understand the blocking, if I saw this person in public and they tried to chat, I would be polite but shutdown the conversation.

fthisfthatfeverything · 09/08/2025 15:19

How did you realise you were blocked?
Can you address it?
Maybe say I was going to message you to see if you wanted to go for a coffee but my message didn’t deliver.
would you rather I didn’t contact you under the circumstances?

Surroundedbyfools · 09/08/2025 15:25

I’d act like I hadn’t even noticed they’d blocked me ! In ur situation she’s probably just removing all exes family so it’s not really anything uv done

Londonrach1 · 09/08/2025 15:27

In this situation it's not personal. It's probably about blocking her ex and any friends linked. Go with polite if you see her avc don't take it personally

DaisyDoodler · 09/08/2025 15:42

Eenameenadeeka · 09/08/2025 09:29

Id think it's more likely that she's removed his family so that he can't see or hear about what she's posting, rather than it being personal about you.

First post nails it - exactly this

PeaceWhite · 09/08/2025 15:45

Has she definitely blocked you? I have friends in that situation who just deleted facebook.

Toastandbutterand · 09/08/2025 15:58

Newfigtree · 09/08/2025 15:16

Whilst I would understand the blocking, if I saw this person in public and they tried to chat, I would be polite but shutdown the conversation.

I would do this too.

I would find it personal, as they've looked up my name to block me.

One of my friends blocked me a few months ago, then sent a message on a different platform to say she was having a tough time with something so had blocked, temporarily, anyone with any link to it on social media. Fair enough, I carried on as normal. I understood. If I get no explanation though, I will meet your energy with the same energy. I don't have the space to be kind to people who don't extend the courtesy.

(I will caveat by saying obviously some thing's are beyond peoples control so I WILL be kind in that circumstance, but no, I wouldn't reach out to this woman or stay in her space for longer than a brief hi. She's made it clear she's not interested.)

Travelfairy · 09/08/2025 16:00

Our next door neighbour blocked us but still chats away. I actually asked him recently and he said (as suspected) it was so his ex wife didnt see any info through our pages

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