To find visiting family harder with older kids?

[ComfortFoodCafe]

I stay once a year for a week with family, was fine when my dc were little. A few toys & running around the garden and they would be entertained!

Now they are a little older, my family dont seem to enjoy going out & doing things at all! We used to do 1/2 day trips and itd break up the week perfectly this time theyve planned nothing. We have spent 3 days solid just sitting about! And still have another five
days till we leave!!
I didnt come in the car either so cant just pack the kids up & go out for the day. Other family members have said “oh why dont you do such & such.” But they just dont seem interested! Just seems to be sitting about all day waiting for “the meal”. When they visit me we go out every day to break it up, so its not like they think i never leave the house either.

feel like im cracking up! Anyone elses family the same? Is it normal to want to spend a whole week at home when family are visiting?

You need to get out with the kids. Kids of any age are going to be bored sat in someone else's house for a week.

That would be a whole lot easier if they didnt live in the middle of nowhere. Ive taken all three kids for a walk, but theres not much else to do! Just surrounded by fields.
got to the point where ive promised myself that i wont be bringing the kids for another visit, theyve spent so much time on their ipads! The bizzare thing was that we had all agreed to lots of plans before i came and then suddenly nothing, even offered to give them petrol money & pay for tickets!

In future why not come in the car so you can make your own plans?

Its a nine hour car ride compared to a 50 minute plane ride!

Rent a car at the airport?

Well if you are just sitting in the house in the middle of nowhere, it's not surprise they're bored. Is it the children who don't want to go anywhere, or the family you are visiting?

Sounds a perfect holiday for your teens; no obligation to do anything other than sleep, eat and play on their devices.

Sometimes doing nothing isn’t a bad thing. Can’t you catch up on some reading or a series?

This sounds v odd… are they infirm or can’t afford?

if they have a vehicle get insured on it? Any local public transport or bike rentals... Or get activities delivered in - art stuff, baking, books, etc?
on your walks can you forage or nature-watch? Too far to walk to pubs or market towns?

I’d hire a car for a few days and take them out.

Is it your parents? Could you get short cover insurance to borrow their car?

My parents are the same! It frustrates me beyond belief. They just potter about the house and offer lots of food and drink! If I suggest doing something they say no, because they will find it too busy - whatever I suggest! I wonder if it's them becoming set in their ways now they're older, as they find it a lot, what with the children and navigating busy school holidays. I only go for 3-4 days now, as I can't bear doing nothing for a week! The kids, of course, love it as they get to watch TV, sit on devices and eat loads of food!

Edited to add - when I am going stir crazy and can see that the kids need to get out, I just have to forgo all the exciting stuff if we don't have a car. I have to just drag the kids out for a walk.

Do your family not have a car your can use? No bus service?

I am in a similar position that I am halfway through a 2 week visit with family. We have a car and do go out, but now my DC are older they keep saying they just want to go home, see friends, be in their own bedroom etc so it is hard work! They used to love coming here.

Could you afford to hire a car, or go to the nearest town and pay for a night in a hotel? Day out 1st day, sleep over, attraction next day then travel back to family home?

Not a chance I could stay in like that for a week, my kids would climb the walls!

Failing that I’d cut the trip short… drastically!

Get a bus, train or uber somewhere.

Put yourself on the car drivers insurance. It’s often ridiculously cheap- around £5 for 4 days.

No they wont allow me to do that.

I think its the same for mine, just becoming set in their ways but they arent even that eldery. I still have grandparents kicking about.
Next time i will limit it to 3-4 days max and thats it. Hoping the next few days go by quickly, love them
to bits but if i wanted to sit about Id of done it in the comfort of my own home lol.

Then hire a car yourself.

Just hire a car…

You need to do something yourself. You're staying in their home which presumably they've cleaned, made beds up, bought food, cooked etc but you're expecting them to entertain you too? Borrow their car, rent a car, get on a bus do whatever. Or just something that isn't waiting for your parents to do it for you.

Crikey. Sounds like being held hostage! Are they honestly okay with you flying over to just sit in the house?!

😮
Do you think they’re not paying attention? Can you clearly say, “Mum, we’re going stir crazy here. Let me sort out the car insurance and we can do the trips we spoke about.”

I agree - don’t tiptoe around! Just say you’re all bored and didn’t come just to sit in the house. Why wouldn’t they allow you on car insurance? They don’t have to go out, but to expect you all to just sit around is very selfish.