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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To resent new colleagues

35 replies

Perato · 08/08/2025 13:35

Work in an advertising agency type environment (some details changed to protect identity) in the sales division. We're a small team but on an agressive growth drive due to private equity.

Last year on return from mat leave I struggled to balance the role with motherhood, mental health wasn't great and felt bullied by manager and her boss for a while. My performance dipped a bit and It culminated in a very nasty ambush call by one of the directors basically threatening to sack me and mocking my sales abilities.

Fast forward a year and things have stabilised and I'm back on track with performance etc and we've recently hired two new senior managers to help drive even more sales and growth.

These hires were announced to much PR fanfare and billed across the company as much needed talent etc.

I've ended up training them a lot and picking up a lot of the Slack as they learn but both are struggling in their own ways and one in particular doesn't seem good enough and has made bad mistakes and doesnt seem to grasp the basics. We're now 3-4 months in and they still have to be hand held for almost everything and can't do certain things solo as 'not ready yet'. They're getting a very easy ride but I was nearly sacked for much less.

These are senior managers, on at least 10k more than me (baseline). I'm picking up the slack right left and centre but externally we've positioned them as incredibly capable/ senior/ strategic/ commercially astute etc.

I'm feeling so resentful and used. I've given official feedback but it's not my call on what happens to them. I've also applied for various jobs over past 6 months but market is dire so it's not an easy option.

Not sure what I'm looking for from this thread, maybe just validation that inbu and views from others who have been in this situation.

I felt so upset and broken last year but I clawed it back and have given effort etc, now seeing incompetent people announced and bigged up so much causes me so much anger.

OP posts:
Swirlythingy2025 · 08/08/2025 13:52

how long are you training them for ?

Perato · 08/08/2025 13:54

For past few months I think their probation is 6 months

OP posts:
Swirlythingy2025 · 08/08/2025 13:57

Perato · 08/08/2025 13:54

For past few months I think their probation is 6 months

could you step back and see how they do ?

Perato · 08/08/2025 14:04

Swirlythingy2025 · 08/08/2025 13:57

could you step back and see how they do ?

I've done this a bit. Their work is then not very good so I have to correct it as my boss wants it done quickly so we still meet targets etc

OP posts:
Swirlythingy2025 · 08/08/2025 14:09

Perato · 08/08/2025 14:04

I've done this a bit. Their work is then not very good so I have to correct it as my boss wants it done quickly so we still meet targets etc

does the boss know how good they are ?

Gizlotsmum · 08/08/2025 14:16

Let them fail. If your boss wants the work done he gets them to redo it. No one is going to get better letting someone else fix their mistakes and why would you do more for them than anyone was willing to do for you?

Mumlaplomb · 08/08/2025 14:16

It sounds like you had shoddy treatment post maternity OP, which is sadly common in these kind of cut throat environments.
I woukd raise the issues with your manager and explain your concerns and ask for her suggestions as to how she wishes to proceed, as you won’t be able to carry them for long.
separately it does not sound like a fun place to work.

CremeEggThief · 08/08/2025 14:18

Why are you resenting them and not management who have already shown you they're not as supportive of you as they should be? YABU for that.

Littleredgoat · 08/08/2025 14:24

What do you actually want? That is the question.

If you don't want the work of training then then step back and let them fail regardless of your bosses targets. The targets are your bosses responsiblility, the new hire responsiblility - definitely not yours.

If you want their job, then i think you need to own what went wrong last year. Acknowledge it and have a discussion with your boss why now is different and you are worth the promotion. Not justifying your behaviour - owning that performance wasn't as it should be, your have reflected, proved yourself and now want to step up.

You're right it isn't fair. But what outcome do you want

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/08/2025 14:41

Gizlotsmum · 08/08/2025 14:16

Let them fail. If your boss wants the work done he gets them to redo it. No one is going to get better letting someone else fix their mistakes and why would you do more for them than anyone was willing to do for you?

This, 100%.

crowsfeet57 · 08/08/2025 14:41

IME they could be completely useless and senior management won't admit they've made a mistake. They'll just blame you and say you are looking for problems.

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 14:47

I think you need to step back.
How long were you in the job before the maternity leave?

It sounds like you were bullied and abused by them, and continue to be so.

Look up pregnancy and screwed.
Call ACAS.
I think you need to think carefully about what you want.

They are using you. You need to push back.
Get advice.
Put everything you have gone through down on paper and get advice.

27pilates · 08/08/2025 14:54

Just do your own job and let these 2 new members of staff get on with it. Let your manager pick up the slack.
Carry on looking for a new post elsewhere. Good luck OP

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 08/08/2025 15:01

Perato · 08/08/2025 14:04

I've done this a bit. Their work is then not very good so I have to correct it as my boss wants it done quickly so we still meet targets etc

Why aren’t they sending their work direct to the boss if they are more senior than you? Can’t you tell the boss you are no longer checking their work so they can assess them their selves?

Skybluepinky · 08/08/2025 15:14

It depends what’s in your contract, if it includes training others you won’t be able to stop that, but are your bosses aware of the standard of their work?

Tablesandchairs23 · 08/08/2025 16:08

Is it in your job description to train new starters.

Perato · 08/08/2025 16:50

crowsfeet57 · 08/08/2025 14:41

IME they could be completely useless and senior management won't admit they've made a mistake. They'll just blame you and say you are looking for problems.

Agree. I can't say too much as I'll just look bitter

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 08/08/2025 17:04

Are you keeping an email record of all the times the big boss asks you to correct their mistakes? If it’s just the boss cornering you and telling you to redo stuff in person, send a quick email confirming everything in writing so you have a record that way. I’d cc the crap bods in those emails too.Grin

CoffeeCantata · 08/08/2025 18:09

Sympathy, OP, but not much advice- pps have made some useful suggestions.

i was 3 times in the situation where I was thrown in at the deep end in new jobs, but when other people started they were given long and detailed inductions, partly by me. They would say they weren’t quite ready to fly solo yet…and were treated very kindly. I felt really resentful - I wouldn’t have got away with that.

Perato · 08/08/2025 19:09

I'm happy to train them up to an extent but some of the mistakes have been poor attention to detail or just not understanding the basics.

One of them doesn't have any experience of the sector we work, the other didn't work in advertising before so not got a background in what we actually sell. Those are quite big gaps

OP posts:
Lafufufu · 08/08/2025 19:15

Firstly.fair play for making a comeback... many wouldn't.

I'd step back and let them find their feet or fail.
When big boss wants you to pick up the slack get it email and reply "happy to correct Xs work it will be with you by Y"

In annual review make it clear 3 months out ypu are looking for parity vs them if they want you to stay

27pilates · 10/08/2025 11:00

Also look at ‘quiet quitting’ while you’re job hunting.

27pilates · 10/08/2025 11:01

Have you got any A/L coming up? Maybe when you’re off for a fortnight, this will become the higher boss’s problem and it will come to a head.🤞

popdepop · 10/08/2025 11:31

Perato · 08/08/2025 13:35

Work in an advertising agency type environment (some details changed to protect identity) in the sales division. We're a small team but on an agressive growth drive due to private equity.

Last year on return from mat leave I struggled to balance the role with motherhood, mental health wasn't great and felt bullied by manager and her boss for a while. My performance dipped a bit and It culminated in a very nasty ambush call by one of the directors basically threatening to sack me and mocking my sales abilities.

Fast forward a year and things have stabilised and I'm back on track with performance etc and we've recently hired two new senior managers to help drive even more sales and growth.

These hires were announced to much PR fanfare and billed across the company as much needed talent etc.

I've ended up training them a lot and picking up a lot of the Slack as they learn but both are struggling in their own ways and one in particular doesn't seem good enough and has made bad mistakes and doesnt seem to grasp the basics. We're now 3-4 months in and they still have to be hand held for almost everything and can't do certain things solo as 'not ready yet'. They're getting a very easy ride but I was nearly sacked for much less.

These are senior managers, on at least 10k more than me (baseline). I'm picking up the slack right left and centre but externally we've positioned them as incredibly capable/ senior/ strategic/ commercially astute etc.

I'm feeling so resentful and used. I've given official feedback but it's not my call on what happens to them. I've also applied for various jobs over past 6 months but market is dire so it's not an easy option.

Not sure what I'm looking for from this thread, maybe just validation that inbu and views from others who have been in this situation.

I felt so upset and broken last year but I clawed it back and have given effort etc, now seeing incompetent people announced and bigged up so much causes me so much anger.

Yes you are being unreasonable. As someone who has stepped into a more senior role I feel bullied in particular by one lady who also went for my role but didn't get it. She clearly is resentful and I feel deliberately trying to sabotage. Give the new starts a chance, its only been a few months in a new role. There is a reason those who are resentful didn't get the role

topcat2014 · 10/08/2025 11:36

I got the sack from a job I actually loved earlier this year. I am working again, below my skill level. Pleasant office and nice colleagues. I feel wholly different about work now. couldn't give a shit really

Whilst you don't realise, this will be affecting your health. My blood pressure is in the green every day now, and it probably wasn't for the last 20 years.

Good luck whatever you decide.

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