Toddler is now crying at the drop off, must hate it?

[SpunkyPombear]

Toddler has been full time since 9 months old and has now been at the nursery full time for 11 months.

Never had an issue with drip off, but now he's crying every time.

I used to smirk thinking I'm doing parenting so well.

Now I feel like a failure.

We had an extra day at home this weekend, could that have triggered it? He usually walks in very confident and doesnt say bye or look behind him. Now it's "don't leave me" cry.

Help

DS used to cry at drop off and cry at pick up, he certainly didn’t hate his nursery (I used to hide out of sight to check he had settled, and would see him before he saw me when I arrived - he settled within a minute or two, had a whale of a time, and still remembers it very fondly).

It’s just a stage toddlers go through unfortunately.

It can be a phase, but if it continues for too long then consider changing nurseries. It might just not be the right fit and/or there is somthing else going on. I have had many friends, and myself have done this and have no issues at the new place. A key thing is how long they take to settle, if it's quick then it's probably not an issue. Most of all, listen to your gut 💕

Mine loved nursery and got upset if we suggested missing a day. She cried every single day at drop off from about aged 18 months til she left at 5 years old. We never got to the bottom of why.

Nothing wrong with the nursery I think. When I go in at the end of the day he's not wanting to leave. It's a struggle. Hes been there 11 months. How can he change so much over the weekend?

He's also started to ask for me at luck up.

Staff would say "not yet" and he has learnt that word. Now he's learnt mummy as well. I saw him look for me when I went to pick him up.

He's getting older and developing emotionally. Given he's there the majority of his time I'd be far more concerned if he carried on not saying bye or caring about leaving you as he got older, it's a positive thing that he's still building an attachment.

Another girl who I would see be so happy when I went to pick up moved to another room. I saw her crying at drop of a few months ago. Maybe it's an age thing?

Thank you.

He may have walked in bevUse the door was open and when he was around the corner and I had gone he may have cried.

I'd just monitor it. It might be a phase or something else. Has something changed on the regular routine?

We went away from the weekend

Has anything changed about the nursery? Key workers etc? Can he talk much and tell you why he's unhappy? If so, have you asked him if he wants to go to nursery/dislikes it? And if so why

He's not at the stage of talking

I wouldn't dismiss it as just a phase. My eldest was always happy at nursery drop off and never cried, even when she first started. Then she became clingy for several weeks, and it turned lots of other kids has the same reaction due to a dislike of a certain new member of staff. It wasn't abuse (more directed at other staff) but all the kids picked up on. All was fine once the staff member was dismissed. I think kids have a good instinct about these things.

I agree with this, that's why I say trust your gut. I have 4 other friends whose children started to not like their nursery and then perfectly happy once they changed. It can most definitely be a phase, but just male sure it doesn't drag on too long or that it gets worse

Thanks. Minimal staff and children at the moment. And they have their usual staff so no one new. He's been in the bigger room in the afternoons and he's ok at pick up, surely he would be crying? He's usually not wanting to leave

My gut is he's just tired and all cudhen do this!

Might be the change ie going to bigger room, mine took a while to settle loves his ladies has friends but if he’s poorly, been off a while sick/hols it takes a few days to get back into routine. I know he’s always settled 2 minutes after I’ve left so I make drop off quick.
We did have an incident where another child hurt him recently but he said he didn’t want to go at home then ran away from me when in lol. I agree with the previous poster who said it’s attachment to you, that’s a good thing!
Our nursery are good at sending a msg sometimes pics too when he’s struggled to go in. Could you ask yours to do this to put your mind at ease? I’d not think it’s a nursery issue just because you said he doesn’t want to leave x

Thanks. He's not perm gone in the big room, it's just due to low numbers. Staff have said his eyes light up when he goes in. Lots of toys etc

Maybe it’s that then? Will he move up at 2? I know my boy couldn’t wait to go up to the toddler room they could tell he was bored with the baby room that transition was so easy compared to his settle sessions too either way if the nursery is good they’d look at ways to help you both.

We had to hide for settles at first pretended we’d left, I could never set foot in the baby room or he’d sob and cling to me but he’d happily close the front door saying bye so we did that, no idea what the difference was his key worker made sure everyone else was aware.

I know it’s not helpful to say it’s a phase but it genuinely is a phase and will pass. I was in exactly the same boat - DD went to. Nursery around the same age, never any issue and then suddenly one day, didn’t want to go, got really upset. You just have to persist - she got over in a couple of weeks although I did have a few cries in the car.

Mine squealed for years at drop off. I used to lurk and peer through the windows. Little sods were as happy as anything once id gone. They get a hug, eyes wiped and off they would crawl/toddle off