Where did I lose myself?

[EmberR]

Not sure what my AIBU is but I would love your opinions please.

I used to be very energetic, driven, positive, bubbly, future focused. Hard work delivers results was my mantra. I worked hard did well in my career. Sure things were challenging and I had wobbles.

But now I’m lost. My career has stagnated. I’ve done ok but not likely to get to the top of the ladder. I’m just holding on to my job as the economy is not good and job market in my industry is fallen over. I don’t really enjoy it anymore and I’m not learning anything new. I work from home so don’t see humans day to day. A lot of my friends I made from workplace fun and now I just look at little boxes of faces of people I’ll never meet or share a cup of tea and chat with.

I have a lovely husband and family but where I live is miles away from my true best friends and I’ve struggled to make friends in the area. Even though I’m smiley and sociable and have tried. Nothing has progressed.

I’m trying to stay positive and think yes my life is good and I’m happy and grateful. But I have lost myself. I don’t feel it in my heart anymore. I’m not so positive about the future. Not much fun or laughter seems to be in my life.

maybe it’s an age thing (‘mid 40s) maybe it’s a cost of living / economy thing. Maybe everyone is lonely and bored?

Anyone ever felt the same and what did you do? A major Life change? A different career? Move abroad??

My sister join a friendship group - have a look - it’s not about finding partners, you can go swimming or fishing, theartre

Why not invite you DH out for dinner? go bowling?

Find what lights your fire. No one else is going to do it for you.

I need to find a hobby that I enjoy?

Hoping a book club changed my life. Not in a dramatic way, I just found a group of like minded friends who got me and made me laugh. I don’t feel pointless and lonely anymore. X

I could have written this myself. I truly believe WFH is the culprit here. It is so, so easy to get stuck in a rut when you don’t need to leave the house to work. For me, it meant I put on weight, stopped making an effort, which in turn affected my self esteem and anxiety grew. I also think I became much less self resilient at coping with anything different or difficult. I stopped trying.

it took me years to recognise this. I force myself out of the house at lunchtime and evenings. I go into town where there are lots of people. I book into exercise classes after work. And am soon to start a small volunteering stint. Well done, you have recognised that something is lacking in your everyday life, and now you have the chance to change it before it gets any worse. That’s the first step.