Different or the same?

[thebluehen]

My adult son and his girlfriend lived with us for a few months. We had a big 6 bedroom house - so they had their own space but had to share the kitchen. We said they would need to buy and cook their own food most nights and had a schedule. Both worked full time. My DP has got very upset that when I went away for a weekend last year, my son and his girlfriend didn't cook for him.

DP adult daughter also now lives there with him as I no longer live there. He cooks for her everynight and she never has to cook. She is the same age as my son's girlfriend. I have been told the situations are completely different and he was right to expect a dinner from my son and his girlfriend. Am I missing something here or is this just gaslighting?

A grown man is upset over not being cooked for by people he never cooks for?

How embarrassing that he felt the need to actually say that out loud!

He clearly has different expectations to yours, but the situations are identical.
Why do you care if you no longer live there?

He sounds ridiculous. And this was last year? It’s August, why is he bringing it up now?

They were told that they needed to buy and cook their own food (fair enough) but your husband is upset that they didn’t cook for him?!

Cant he cook himself? Did he ask them if they wanted to meal share? Unless there’s a drip feed coming, I cannot see why your husband is “very” upset about this? And it happened last year?

Is your son his son too? Why does he think they should cook for him? You say they had to buy and cook their own food. Was there a schedule for cooking for each other? Either way your DP was surely able to cook for himself for a couple of days? And if he's still miffed over something that happened last year then that is quite ridiculous.

Has he continued to be so upset about it that he has been crying into his saucepans all year while he cooks for his daughter?

Well if you don’t live there anymore, does it matter?

If you don't live there any more, presumably you've separated from him? If this is the case, why are you still thinking about this. Put the past behind you and move on. It doesn't matter now, focus on the future!

What's his explanation for why it's different?
I mean, it seems exactly the same to me but I'm interested in his rationale.
Is it because it's your son, but his daughter?
As he's still alive I'm presuming he didn't starve while you were away for a weekend!! Idiot!

This. I can see why OP no longer lives there.

Does he have something wrong with his hands?

And yes, one sees why the OP no longer lives there.

Apparently it's different because my son and his girlfriend had some leftovers from their meal they could have offered him and didn't.

well he could have asked them? “Will that be eaten? Would you mind if I have some, it looks tasty”. I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded if it was just going in the bin anyway.

They put it in a tupperware in the fridge for their lunch the next day.

Your DP sounds like a total prick. Why on earth would he expect your son and his partner to cook for him? Or to give him their leftovers when they were planning to eat them the next day? What a giant baby.

I dont get it? You no longer live there, so why do you care?

Two adults live together in the same house and eat together? I don't see the big deal. You want them both to eat alone every night going forwards because he thought it was unkind that your son didn't share food once?