I'm 36 and fairly successful, good friendships etc. But I do have issues I'm trying to work on - mainly that with people, I do have weak boundaries, can people please and tend to put my own needs last.
I've seen this a lot with things when I don't want to do something or am not sure but feel pressured into saying yes. I hate coming across as rude or hurting someone's feelings. I want to start putting myself first.
Please help me with this situation. There's a girl I knew from school - weren't super close at all but friends. Haven't spoken to her in 15 years and then 2 years ago, she got in touch and asked me to volunteer some time and help on a project for a few months. All fine and good, lovely to catch up. Afterwards, saw her sporadically for a walk. asked to meet for a walk last year, assumed this would be for a few hours but she wanted to go for dinner, come back to mine, use the loo - my whole saturday ended up going because I couldn't say no on the spot or think of a good excuse!!
Then this January, she asked to meet again - I kept rescheduling our date until May when met her for a walk, made it clear I only had an hour and it went fine! Thought, phew, won't hear from her for another year - except 3 weeks later, she asked to meet up again. I said I was very busy but would let her know a date - after a month, she messaged me suggesting that weekend to which I said it wasn't possible. She's got in touch again, asking if I'm free any evening the month of August for a meal and I agreed to one evening in a few weeks.
The thing is I don't want to see her this often. I'm fine with once a year. But I don't want to be seeing her every few weeks or months. How do I cancel and get my time back without being rude but asserting myself?
Please help!