Aibu not knowing what to do about travel?

[Twinkylightsg]

Hey,

I am travelling with my children to see family abroad (within europe). Husband is fine with this, he is actually looking forward to some alone time. 😅

Does he need to write a letter saying it is OK for us to go? Does it need to be notarized or is it enough if his contact info is on the letter and I bring along marriage cert and birth certs?

Aibu for not knowing the procedure? We are travelling in 4 days and someone said do you have the letter and I didn't realise I need one. Aibu for being this naive and ignorant on this topic?

People will tell you you need a notarised letter with two witnesses and a sworn affidavit, but what you actually need to do is just go on your holiday and return with your children as expected.

Hope you have a great time!

I would just get him to write and sign a letter stating he is the father and he is happy for you to take the children abroad to X country without him. Take copies of his passport if he has one and birth certificates. I’ve done this several times, never actually needed them in the end but it was for peace of mind as I do know people who have actually been stopped and questioned. I think it may depend how young your children are.

Do you all have the same surname?
It will be fine, OP. Enjoy your holiday!

Thanks,

Should I just have husband write a letter as a just in case? We are just gone for the week. Leave Mon and are back Sun morning. 🫣

Yes we all have the same surname 😊

OK will do! Rather just have peace of mind 😌

Travelled multiple times a year to Europe and even the USA with my children without their dad and never been stopped or asked for a letter once

Leaving the UK you almost certainly won’t have any issues as we don’t have proper border control on exit. It’s technically possible that airline staff boarding you onto the plane could ask, but I’ve never actually seen this happen.

On the other end, it depends where you’re going. Most European countries won’t care as long as a child has one of their parents with them, but there are a few countries that are stricter - not quite the same situation, but my daughter visited South Africa with a friend’s family when she was 16 and both dh and I had to sign legal documents giving our permission for her to enter SA without her parents.

If you all have the same surname surely there will be no issue? I travelled alone with my children and it has never occurred to me that I’d need anything?? (We have same surname)

Dear Lord, why do people give such crap advice? This is why people are ignorant and naive about this matter.

The situation @Twinkylightsg is that to go abroad with children you need the permission of every person who has parental responsibility.* Now, the likelihood is that you will not be asked, especially if you all have the same surname, but you might be, and if you do not have some evidence of this consent then it could cause delays, possibly leading to missed flights etc. The advice given by SunsetCocktails is good.

In maybe twenty trips I have been asked for such evidence twice and a signed letter, not notarised or anything, plus a copy of their birth certificates has been accepted.

*There is an exception for divorced/separated parents where there is a child arrangement order in place, but this doesn’t sound as if it would apply to you

I travelled back and forth for years in Europe with my son.

Was never ever questioned.
Never even thought about it.

We don't even have the same surname.

Its bullshit. I have never been asked for this.

There is guidance on the direct.gov website of what the letter should say.

Personally I've never done a letter and my children have never been stopped from travelling.

I’ve never been asked when travelling alone with DD, and we’ve been to lots of places (including SA as mentioned above). One year I took her plus her half sister (dad’s child with second wife) to India. We did get the paperwork for that - but I wasn’t asked.

I gave my crap advice on the basis of weighing up the information given to me. This is a woman, married to her children's father, going on a regular summer holiday in Europe. I will eat my floppy sun hat if she doesn't breeze in and out of the country with narry a hassle!

Get him to write a letter, including a telephone number he can be called on. If the children do not have the same last name as you take full birth certificates to prove you are their mother, even more important if any of the children are too young to confirm themselves

I was asked twice for proof. Once before my passport matched, and once after.
All they wanted was proof that the father knew.... he just wrote a letter with his passport number and phone number

Once they were old enough to answer for themselves the passport officer just asked them questions.

Thanks all. I will just ask DH to write something up by hand with his contact info and details of trip, consenting me to take the kids and have their birth certificates with me just in case. Better to have it and not need it then to not have it and need it. The kids can speak if they ask them questions.

Don't worry all went well and smoothly, you don't have to eat your floppy sun hat ! 😅

Glad to hear it!

Did you go with a letter from your husband?

Did anyone even look half like they were bothered about you going on a regular summer holiday with your children in Europe?

I did go with everything I thought I might need but no one asked for anything. ☺️ Smooth sailing !