To think that there are early signs, just not always the ones we expect?

[ByGutsyTealViewer]

You often hear women say “there we no signs” when physical or verbal abuse begins. But I think there are small signs, things that might not scream ‘abuser’ but quietly hint at emotional volatility or control.

Stuff like:
-Punching walls when angry
-Throwing or breaking objects in frustration
-Sulking for days over small things
-Overreacting to minor inconveniences
-Blaming others for everything going wrong

I don’t think spotting one of these makes someone ‘definitely abusive’ but AIBU to think they can be early clues to someone lacking emotional regulation and potentially escalating?

Thank you!!!

The constant attempts to shut down discussion with accusations of “victim blamimg!!!” are tiring and unhelpful. Also it’s useful to ask people to truly examine their history with their partner and what was ignored for them and other women to learn.

I imagine that you may be right. But for me , that would have just been background noise growing up. My parents were both a bit volatile, and until I met my husband, I was too.