To feel a bit down about life in general

[Johncollins]

I just feel like unless you have a good amount of money then there's no point, so much is reserved for high earners, even having children is frowned upon, having pets, basic human wants.

You can have a certain standard of living but you won't be able to afford the nicer food brands, the organic range, the nicer holidays, more clothes, beauty treatments and so on.

You don't have to go to the supermarket and add things on a calculator before you buy them. Most lower paid jobs are shit in many ways, I've done most of them.

Dealing with the public is crap, I've had to just end a call because of how rudely someone was speaking to me.
What does this all lead to? What's the point?
Don't have many close friends, I have acquaintances but they can go months without talking to me unless I do first. I don't have that tight knit group of friends.

So many of my friends were married by 30, now have the fancy house, they and/or their husband in high paying roles, 2 kids and a pet.

I know a lot of it is down to luck and opportunity, I'm trying to better myself but just fed up of the same chap every day.

It's pressure to look good as a woman, and I've always had people take advantage of my nature, I've had some really bad relationships and rejections and I just don't see the point

Well life has got more expensive even for high earners (on PAYE).

Unfortunately we never recovered from the financial crash but low interest rates masked it. Add in Brexit and an ageing population & things won't be improving anytime soon.

It's pressure to look good as a woman

Look good how? Most people I know don't have regular beauty treatments (all have higher incomes).

I certainly can't afford organic food

Its a lot of focus on money and things. Surely the point is more about seeing the sunset, doing a hobby you enjoy, building a community, helping others. All of that will give you more satisfaction in life than shopping at waitrose and going on fancy holidays.

I hear you! Working with the public is tough the amount of rude people I encounter daily has increased. I earn just above minimum wage. I have one close friend and that suits me. Recently divorced and I definitely don't want another relationship just yet.
I don't really adhere to the whole must look a certain way, I'm clean and well presented which is good enough for me.
You've got to carve out snippets of joy for yourself each day. I enjoy cooking different recipes and dressmaking. I'm planning to plant some spring bulbs they will be in the shops soon. It will give me joy in the spring.
A lot of what we see on social media is false so if you spend time on there maybe have a break.

I have hobbies i enjoy but they usually have to be cheap or free. Just feel the world is built for high earners, as I said a lot of lower paid roles dealing with the public are shit, a lot of people on here seem to have very niche roles paying 200k where they don't have to be in contact with the public.

All this until the day you die, it does feel like what's the point.

a lot of people on here seem to have very niche roles paying 200k where they don't have to be in contact with the public.

Very few people earn 200k...

Hi OP I know how you feel and for a long time my life was like yours, it was a slog. I have never been close to my parents and brother and I lived in London which really didn't help me, a single woman renting alone meant that so much of my income was taken up with housing expenses and didn't have much left for bills and a life, let alone saving. Many years on I'm older, married with kids and life is much much better. Having a family is wonderful and this one is so much better than the one I grew up with. Relationships are really what make people happy, I think. Good, deep, trustful relationships. I would recommend focussing on these. Also having a faith which I do now, that really really helps. Money, ach, it helps too. I am a lot more comfortable financially now and that does lead to more happiness, sad but true.

Is this- “but you won't be able to afford the nicer food brands, the organic range, the nicer holidays, more clothes, beauty treatments and so on” how a good life is measured though?

My husband & I aren’t “high earners” by MN standards, we don’t shop in Waitrose, go to the Maldives for 2 weeks every year, wear Gucci top to toe & other than having my hair done I don’t think I’ve had a beauty treatment in years, no desire to get them. And we are really happy and content despite not meeting your threshold for a good life.

I’m not saying money doesn’t matter at all, it absolutely does and I’m very thankful that we don’t have to worry about paying our mortgage, bills, food shop etc, but some of my happiest memories are not the things that cost the most money. It’s the days at the park as a family in the sunshine, picnic at the beach, walking around wrapped up looking at the decorations on the houses at christmas etc.

I do have some really lovely interactions with customers so it's not all bad. I try not to let the rude ones ruin my day.
I'm able to keep a roof over my head, no debt, free from a controlling relationship. I can leave my front door whenever I want without having to explain myself or get accused of having an affair.
Money isn't everything, my freedom and independence have given me so much happiness.
Not everyone earning 200k is happy sometimes more money can be a bind you have a lifestyle to keep and there is always a fear you can lose it.

Try not to be swayed by marketing. There’s apparently a whole psychology to how to get people to really want things snd to feel that they need them and advertising is great at making us feel less than human for not having these things.
you sound a little lonely. Do you have local social groups? I’ve joined one near to me : people in the group strange things like walking, watching bands, visiting local history sites etc, book reading. If there isn’t one you could set one up via Facebook. Maybe also you could go to evening classes - Learn something u enjoy that will also increase your earning potential : maybe languages, maybe an arts club or writing club . Best of luck 🤞