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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to move to a cottage with 5 acres in the country, 8 miles to the nearest shop

389 replies

Anotheremptynester · 05/08/2025 22:21

I am 65.

I have always lived in London and have now found a place in the country. Family say I am crazy as too old and will find it too hard once the novelty wears off, but I am seriously looking at buying it. Its a small house but surrounded by lots of land.
Has anyone done the same or AIBU?

OP posts:
BlueJuniper94 · 05/08/2025 22:23

It's depends entirely on what your expectations are

LemonLadder · 05/08/2025 22:23

Ha, that would be my worst nightmare OP. I love London life and feel panicky at the idea of being somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Especially with old age and the lack of rural health and social services, never mind corner shops. But I am a city person so I look forward to hearing from people who embraced the change!

hatgirl · 05/08/2025 22:24

What is your back up plan if you find yourself unable to drive at some point in the next 20 years?

Dangermoo · 05/08/2025 22:24

I live in the country, within acres of land housing lodges. My garden is a wraparound mature garden, where all I can hear is nature. I need my car to get to my nearest shop, but give me the tranquility, any day of the week. Go for it. Your mental health will see the difference.

BTW I'm 54.

womananddog · 05/08/2025 22:26

How are you going to manage and maintain the land?

UrbanOasis · 05/08/2025 22:27

I think you would be crazy myself, as you are entering the period of your life when you will likely need more medical care, will eventuallly not be able to drive, will need support at home, and would generally benefit from an urban environment. I say that as a 61 year old with a 92 year old mother. But it's up to you of course.

OpenThatWindow · 05/08/2025 22:27

I moved from a busy city to a rural area and love it.

But it's so personal - and I'm younger- not sure I'll be wanting to live here in my 70s/80s as I'll need more convenience by then.

Shoemadlady · 05/08/2025 22:27

I don’t think it’s crazy but what do you intend to do to maintain the land?! It will need to be maintained or rented out. What do you plan to do when you’re potentially unable to look after yourself?
I think for what it’s worth you should go for it if that’s what you want but think of a strategy in 20 years time x

Ozgirl76 · 05/08/2025 22:30

There are a few things to think about (I grew up in the country about a 10 minute drive from the nearest village with shops, half an hour from the closest proper town).

Weather in the winter - you could be cut off if you’re in the north. Also during storms etc you may lose power. We were in Sussex and even there got cut off a few times after storms.

Every single time you need something you have to get in the car. This can be such a pain so you have to be organised.

Where is the closest hospital? My dad is now having treatment for cancer and has to drive half an hour every time. Their neighbour had radiotherapy and the village pulled together to give her lifts but she had lived there years.

Will shops deliver to you?

What is your plan for when you’re properly old? There is a big difference between 65 and 85.

Living in the country can be so lovely but you have to get used to being in the car ALL THE TIME as the public transport is often minimal.

EmeraldRoulette · 05/08/2025 22:30

In theory, I would love this.

In practice, I wouldn't want to do it on my own. I'm also prevented from driving because of some nerve issues after a spinal injury so I can't do it. But I'm working on physio and really hope to be able to drive again. If that hadn't interrupted my driving recently, it would have been a possibility.

But I would then be thinking to myself that I'd have to move back somewhere closer to everything, maybe age 70. I don't tend to think that far ahead because I don't actually want to be 70. (No offence to anyone who is 70+, I just think Iife has been long enough already and sometimes I'm amazed I'm still here)

However, I just don't think it's feasible for me on my own. It may be feasible for you. I just think I would find all the looking after everything too much on my own. Acres of land sounds great, but I don't think I could put in the work to look after it. Depends what you wanna do with it, I suppose.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 05/08/2025 22:31

What are you intending doing with the land. If its agricultural land how will you keep the grass down, keep animals, mow it, grow something. Do you have any experience of farm animals or horticulture. At 65 do you have the energy to manage a property of this type.

ReplacementBusService · 05/08/2025 22:31

You are probably crazy. But you only live once.

minipie · 05/08/2025 22:31

hatgirl · 05/08/2025 22:24

What is your back up plan if you find yourself unable to drive at some point in the next 20 years?

This

sesquipedalian · 05/08/2025 22:32

OP, it’s all very well while you’re fit and healthy. But what happens if you fall ill and are unable to drive? How will you look after five acres of land? Even if some of it’s wooded or wild, there will still be garden round the house that will need looking after. If you have always lived in London, you’re used to facilities on your doorstep - theatres, hospitals, shops, good public transport links. You may find living in the country very isolating - how far will it be for family to visit, or for you to visit them? What about friends? I can understand the appeal of a rural idyllic lifestyle, but I’m not sure that the day to day reality of it will live up to your expectations. I’m afraid I have to side with your family.

DrJump · 05/08/2025 22:32

How will you look after the land?
Does the cottage have full town connections? Water, sewer, gas, electric? If not how will you manage those?
What is the heating? If it's wood fire can you split would yourself or will you need to pay for split firewood can be expensive.
How will you make friends? Go to activities? What is the access to medical stuff like? Chemist ect?

My parents live on a large property. In their 40s they were never leaving now in their 60s the reality of living out there as they age is coming into much sharper focus.

Original poster
Anotheremptynester · 05/08/2025 22:32

I think 15 years might be tops making me 80, but that still seems worth doing. The majority of the land is forest, with some to lawn which I hope to add a veg patch and buy some chickens! I have made sure there is a bus stop 1 mile away which takes me to the local town if my car packs up and Tesco does deliver! Have I missed anything?

OP posts:
Seacatt · 05/08/2025 22:33

You would be better renting somewhere similar over the winter to see if it really is for you before committing to anything.

The reality is you could end up very lonely and isolated.

Gunz · 05/08/2025 22:33

hatgirl · 05/08/2025 22:24

What is your back up plan if you find yourself unable to drive at some point in the next 20 years?

Yep I am slightly younger than the OP at 61 and where I currently live have to drive everywhere (semi rural village). Public transportation is poor. I am going the other way and moving to house near to facilties/bus services. I do have eye sight issues - so could lose my licence in the next 10 years. OP I would seriously rent a house in your desired area in the winter months to get a view of what it's like in the bleakness part of the year. Rural transport is generally not good.

OpenThatWindow · 05/08/2025 22:34

Anotheremptynester · 05/08/2025 22:32

I think 15 years might be tops making me 80, but that still seems worth doing. The majority of the land is forest, with some to lawn which I hope to add a veg patch and buy some chickens! I have made sure there is a bus stop 1 mile away which takes me to the local town if my car packs up and Tesco does deliver! Have I missed anything?

Do it! If you need any help getting set up with chickens, give me a PM 😀

If you don't enjoy countryside life, you can always move.

Twattergy · 05/08/2025 22:34

There are many beautiful country living options that are closer to shops and dont necessitate managing acres of land. I'd recommend plumping for those options. All the benefits, less of the stress and isolation.

Ozgirl76 · 05/08/2025 22:34

If you like rural but without the total isolation, being in a village with a small shop can be nice. Places like Chiddingfold, Arundel, Amberley, Wisborough Green, Midhurst, Petworth all in the south (Surrey and Sussex) are in beautiful countryside but with amenities, and they’re only about an hour on the train to London.

ACynicalDad · 05/08/2025 22:34

20 years younger and it would be perfect, now, no, won't last you a decade.

Dorsetindeed · 05/08/2025 22:34

I live in Dorset where many older people are living rurally and increasingly isolated if health issues prevent them from driving. I wouldn’t recommend it as a plan, would much prefer to live in London but can’t afford it.

Cyclebabble · 05/08/2025 22:36

Hi OP. I have now lived rurally for 20 years having moved out of London. We really benefited from the move as did DCs, but you do need to think carefully. Put your calm head on and draw a big list of pluses and minuses on a piece of paper. We live five miles from the shops which is sometimes inconvenient, though all major supermarkets deliver- it just needs planning. Many Londoners who moved in the pandemic missed the shops and the buzz of London so consider this and also life here is slower and community centred. for better or worse everyone will know everything about you. For us the pluses outweighed the minuses.

HostaCentral · 05/08/2025 22:36

My Grandma lived in a cottage, in Suffolk, surrounded by fields, no neighbours, didn't drive. She cycled to the nearest village well into her 90's. She lived alone and died at 103 in her cottage, in her sleep.

No food deliveries 30 years ago either. She did have a home help and meals on wheels and the local GP popped in occasionally, as did a niece. She had geese as house guards.

Oh, and she had no central heating, just a fire in the lounge!

I think you will be fine.