My cousin recently got in contact with me. I have been estranged from my family for 20 or so years due to abuse and going into care and alot of stuff.
I love having the contact with her. But she has brought up my dad quite a few times.
Mostly to tell me crazy stuff he has done or is doing.
Each time she does I feel so awful for not just days but weeks after.
I will be ok at first but then it's like a lid has been opened and all these memories come back. Can be when I'm in Asda I'll be reliving something or driving and the kids are talking and I don't hear because this memory has decided to replay and I feel like I'm back there.
I feel the fear and the disgust or the anger or the sadness and it's so hard.
I am glad she's telling me. She's being honest and I think it's good to keep the option there because I may feel ready to talk about it at some point and maybe this is helping me come to terms with it all and actually deal with it because I've pushed it down for so long.
I don't want her to stop telling me. But at the same time it's so so hard after and I have noone to talk to.
Is this normal. Or am I crazy.