Toddler doesn’t like hugs

[ForLovingTealSheep]

Anyone dealing with an unaffectionate 2.5 year old ( I have a girl ) who doesn’t like hugs , cuddles or being picked up ever . It is heartbreaking as a mother .
Did it get better for any of you ? 🙂

What's her language development like OP? Do you have any other concerns?

One thing I forgot to mention before other comments on asd come up .. it is not physical touch when doesn’t like she loves giggles , always holds my hand and wants kisses from daddy and lay her head on mine or daddy’s leg .. what she doesn’t do often is opening her arms and give the usual hug .. there a lady that we regularly meet outside and she gently strokes her face ( we our consent ) and she is not bothered in the slightest by it .

thank you for your words
what do you mean by concerns ? Surely that doesn’t mean she is autistic

anyway she can have a back and forth conversation, she shares her toys with kids and occasionally share the same toy but still parallel plays .

what other concerns should I have please

My son wasn’t overly cuddly as a toddler, I think he was just too busy playing and exploring and didn’t want to sit around hugging. Fast forward a few years and I literally can’t peel him off, he’s constantly draped all over me.

I am 47 and my mum always joked that even as a baby I didn't like to be picked up and hugged and if someone hugs me unexpectedly I will physically go stiff and just stand there. If I want a hug or if you ask me for a hug that's fine I can psych myself up for it.

I can give my children hugs but my middle son is like me and only likes hugs on his terms.

My partner is a hugger so he will say to me I need a hug and I'll happily give him a hug just don't grab me and hug me. My sister in law does it and she has been with my brother 30 yrs so it's not as if she doesn't know.

Thank you .. do you mind me asking if you are autistic .. I mean I wouldn’t but a few posts here have made me worry a bit ..

surely it is more of a personality trait I would have thought

I'm not autistic, my youngest son is and he loves cuddles.

Well, you've been posting on old threads about SEN asking for updates on how things turned out for the children the threads are about, so presumably you have some concerns that you aren't mentioning on this thread?

I didn’t state that one trait can mean ASD. You asked if anyone else had dealt with this, so I responded. With my son it became apparent his dislike of cuddles/touch was part of his ASD

I am not a hugger and never have been. I like my own space and have always found them pointless. They are just something that increase your chances of getting sick.

I am affectionate I just show it in different ways. I can also be touched and hugged it just does nothing for me.

the quickest way for me to loose affection with someone is when they force hugs on me. It may be time to take a step back and let your daughter come to you when/ if she wants to.

I think not wanting to be hugged could be a sign of sensory issues, other signs could be clothing feeling too tight or restrictive, disliking non-bland food or foods with certain textures, preferring to be away from bright lights, hating loud sounds (such as hoovers or hand-dryers) etc. but it equally could be nothing to do with sensory issues. If there are no other sensory issues present then she may grow out of it.
Sensory issues usually are a factor of Autism or ADHD but not always.
It’s not easy waiting to see what happens as they grow older and I found it very painful personally to accept the lack of hugs but my DC has found their own way to show love and I’ve learnt to accept it now.

Thank you appreciate your concern and yes SPD did come to mind but she likes to be kissed on the face and snuggles down and when she is given a stroke by a lady outside she didn’t recoil .. no issues with clothing , lights or noises and we have loud hoovers here 😆. But I don’t know at the point what to think

food wise she eats what we eat and i cook spicy things as well .. she loves roasted potatoes with condiments and fruits and veggies .. I can’t believe I have a toddler who wouldn’t get close to string cheese but would eat a bowl of spinach because we told her they are leaves from the forest 🤣..

My daughter is the same and has just been diagnosed with autism. She’s 9 now and I have to let her come to me for hugs xx

Ds2 was like this, especially as a baby, and especially with me. He'd go rigid and arch away from me. It was distressing.

In his teens when most boys won't go near their mothers, he became the cuddliest person and now as a young adult, gives the best hugs ever as if his hug is radiating good vibes into your body.

Thank you I don’t believe this is related to autism and she loves physical touch and kisses .

as for autism some autistic kids are the cuddliest ever . It is a personality trait especially if there no concerns of sensory disorders