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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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£350 till end of the month. family of 4 + dog

524 replies

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 16:59

How do we survive? Needs to include formula for the baby. Other ds is almost 5 yrs old. Fuel to be included. We are sorted for this week and have few lunches in the freezer for the next week, but otherwise have to manage within the budget and just dont know how! Each grocery shopping is about £200 for a week with careful planning, we just cant afford it

OP posts:
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Mulledjuice · 05/08/2025 20:40

HelenaWaiting · 05/08/2025 17:32

Blimey. I spend about half of that on a week's shopping for a family of four + two dogs, and I shop at Waitrose.

Now THAT is a shopping list and meal plan I'd like to see

Moonnstars · 05/08/2025 20:42

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 20:35

He does sacrifice and would eat bread so i can have a meal!!

where is it coming from!

all i said he is huge and eats a lot. If we have baked potatoes i will have one and he can have 5 with tin of beans. Many times he had only 3 and topped it up with some milk and cereal but was hungry so you can only reduce as much!

and i never said he was fat @allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld but thanks for health advice

Not sure if you mean 5 baked potatoes, as in what everyone else is calling jacket potato? These you usually only have one of with one or two toppings.
Or if you are refering to small potatoes that you are baking?

mamagogo1 · 05/08/2025 20:43

Ok divide it up - fuel, formula, dog food are not really negotiable, add a toothpaste, basic own brand toiletries and cleaning supplies eg Lidl own brand). What is left? You can eat for £50 a week including everything if you are careful - eg make a lasagna with 500g mince and that’s 6 large portions for £6, make pesto pasta that’s under £2 for 4 people, dal is my cheapest go to, about £2 for dal, rice and homemade chapattis for 4 adults! Own brand cereal, a 65p can of tuna makes sandwiches for lunch for 3 people, beans on toast, if temperature drops soup is cheap and satisfying

DressOrSkirt · 05/08/2025 20:43

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 20:35

He does sacrifice and would eat bread so i can have a meal!!

where is it coming from!

all i said he is huge and eats a lot. If we have baked potatoes i will have one and he can have 5 with tin of beans. Many times he had only 3 and topped it up with some milk and cereal but was hungry so you can only reduce as much!

and i never said he was fat @allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld but thanks for health advice

5 baked potatoes? Sorry but unless he's 12 foot tall he must be fat.

VaccineSticker · 05/08/2025 20:44

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 20:35

He does sacrifice and would eat bread so i can have a meal!!

where is it coming from!

all i said he is huge and eats a lot. If we have baked potatoes i will have one and he can have 5 with tin of beans. Many times he had only 3 and topped it up with some milk and cereal but was hungry so you can only reduce as much!

and i never said he was fat @allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld but thanks for health advice

Having 5 baked potatoes for dinner is not normal. He needs to seek medical
advice. Finances aside, I’d be worried about his health if I were you.

FiveBarGate · 05/08/2025 20:44

If your husband is a meat eater, I find bigger cuts go further and I try to double up lots of meals. You are better off buying a whole chicken for example than chicken breasts (especially a yellow stickered one) and getting two days out of it and soup if it's a decent size.

Gammon is cheap and you can get a main meal out of it and shred the leftovers through macaroni cheese. It doesn't need a lot to give it a bit more substance. Or pork loin.

Agree with a PP who said frozen veg is your friend. I do cottage pies and stretch a packet of mince by bulking up with frozen mixed veg and lentils. We usually have it over two days.

Frozen peppers are excellent and can bulk up loads of meals.

Porridge or Weetabix for breakfast. If you get the finer milled version like ready brek it cooks with a bit of boiling water stirred through and then you can add a bit of milk (whole milk works well as you need less). This is our camping go to.

I don't think it's easy to manage but I do also agree that you are on the higher end normally. We've just done an enormous Aldi shop for £100 which will feed four of us every meal this week and my kids are older. Formula and dog food adds but shouldn't double it..

Silverysnake · 05/08/2025 20:44

How old is baby? Because 6 months baby can have follow on milk and I’m sure offers can be on that milk. If not, sorry.
Also to bulk out mince for cottage pie, mince and dumplings etc, tvp soya mixed with meat is great. You can tell especially with a spoon of yeast extract or meaty stock cube.

JamesMacGill · 05/08/2025 20:44

Is he very overweight OP?

Liliwen · 05/08/2025 20:49

we are a family of 4 with dog and I spend around £130 a week at Tesco. No baby but a teenage son and a 6 foot 5 DH who goes to the gym and is always hungry. £200 seems hugely excessive. What dog food do you buy? Can you buy cheaper like kibble? If you’re eating cheap but filing meals like beans, sandwiches, pasta etc, I don’t understand the cost. I think you could massively reduce your spends for food shopping.

Mumlife86 · 05/08/2025 20:50

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 17:22

he cant go hungry. The guy cannot even buy shoes in any store bc no one has his shoe size - this is to tell you he is just huge and tall and needs more food than me or you so no. He cannot cut it in half i am afraid

This seems like a temporary problem as you are on Mat leave. Will finances be better in a few months? When you’re back at work will there be a potential surplus of money? If it’s just for a couple of months I would suggest getting a zero percent credit card for a couple of modest food shops a month or asking a family member if you can borrow £500 or so to tide you over til end of Mat leave? If your situation will improve soon it might take some of the stress away.

I agree hubby can’t be starving hungry but can he can fill up on cheaper stuff rather than larger portions of main? So smaller meals but extra bowls of own brand cereal, eggs, toast, apples, bananas, he could batch cook pasta in basic sauce and leave in fridge for snacking. Cook tonnes of jackets when you have those and they can be in fridge too.

Can you sell any big baby items on fb or Vinted that you don’t need any more? Have you looked up the ‘Too good to go’ app? Can pick some good short date food stuff up.

Can hubby do some delivery driving/ evening job for bit of extra cash til you go back after mat leave or pick up more work? Or is it an option for you to go back to work a month earlier?

Employers might give one or other of you an advance if you ask?

Hope you sort something out. Don’t be embarrassed to reach out to family, food banks, animal charities for dog food maybe?

If you will be able to pay it back and it won’t cause more stress the CC/ borrowing could be best option

Xxx

safetyfreak · 05/08/2025 20:51

Dunnocantthinkofone · 05/08/2025 20:39

Ok I was with you on the husband thing until this ……..FIVE baked potatoes? That’s absolutely bloody ridiculous and you know it!

If he’s twice the size of an average man, he needs twice the potion size. He sounds like he has an eating disorder

Lol, true.

Maybe he is a body builder?

He must be very overweight.

Wowwee1234 · 05/08/2025 20:51

Expensive things you can ditch

  • special laundry and dishwasher tablets. Wash up by hand, a bottle is 50p. Use cheap laundry powder.
  • swap meat for textured vegetable protein
  • pause any subscriptions you can for the month, free up extra cash. Check you are on the cheapest deals for phones etc.
  • walk or cycle instead of driving any trips under 2 miles (yes, kiddies can manage this)
  • ditch any and all the snacks!!! Very expensive. And you can live without them for a few weeks
  • ditch expensive breakfast cereals for oats / rice pudding
  • get hungry hubby to have standard portion sizes and to fill up on the cheapest carbs you can find - Olio would be good for this. Apples and bananas are cheap btw.
  • can anyone take the dog from your hands for a few weeks? Or can you get scraps from butcher to avoid food costs?

And I think that £350 minus £70 fuel, and £60 say for formula leaves you £220 max for food, so you need to keep your shop to £50 a week for food really, which is a push but do-able for a short period. If you can scrape an extra £20/week from other costs it will be easier.

mamagogo1 · 05/08/2025 20:52

How about this for cheap and tomato free

100g red lentils
1 onion finely chopped
1-2 cloves garlic
1 tsp chilli
1 tablespoon curry powder
1 sachet (50g) creamed coconut

saute onion and garlic, add lentils then 500ml boiling water and a vegetable stock cube plus the spices and the coconut, stir then simmer for 15-20 minutes. Serve with rice (brown basmati from larger supermarkets in 5kg bags is filling, just 2 cups serves 4-6 adults) You can put any leftover veggies or meat into the dal too

User9784754 · 05/08/2025 20:52

VaccineSticker · 05/08/2025 20:44

Having 5 baked potatoes for dinner is not normal. He needs to seek medical
advice. Finances aside, I’d be worried about his health if I were you.

Exactly this. OP seems hugely defensive of her partner but his eating habits definitely play a huge role here. She hasn't given a medical reason for the tomatoes and been evasive about other elements of his diet (UPFs, takeouts?).

Sounds like ARFID to be honest or binge eating disorder with an addiction to carbs.

Balloonhearts · 05/08/2025 20:52

mamagogo1 · 05/08/2025 20:43

Ok divide it up - fuel, formula, dog food are not really negotiable, add a toothpaste, basic own brand toiletries and cleaning supplies eg Lidl own brand). What is left? You can eat for £50 a week including everything if you are careful - eg make a lasagna with 500g mince and that’s 6 large portions for £6, make pesto pasta that’s under £2 for 4 people, dal is my cheapest go to, about £2 for dal, rice and homemade chapattis for 4 adults! Own brand cereal, a 65p can of tuna makes sandwiches for lunch for 3 people, beans on toast, if temperature drops soup is cheap and satisfying

Where the hell are you shopping? The cheapest tuna I ever see, own brand, is 95p and barely does 2 sandwiches.

Liliwen · 05/08/2025 20:52

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 20:35

He does sacrifice and would eat bread so i can have a meal!!

where is it coming from!

all i said he is huge and eats a lot. If we have baked potatoes i will have one and he can have 5 with tin of beans. Many times he had only 3 and topped it up with some milk and cereal but was hungry so you can only reduce as much!

and i never said he was fat @allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld but thanks for health advice

Oh I missed this. 5 baked potatoes is insane. He should be able to cope absolutely fine after 3 (still a lot of potato!) and also a bowl of cereal. He is your problem. He does not need to eat that much food. That’s absolutely ridiculous.

Stirlingo · 05/08/2025 20:52

Why can't he have 'red sauce'? What is 'red sauce'? I'm not being facetious - I know he doesn't like tomatoes - but most sauces can be made without tomatoes, but might be red in colour (roasted peppers for example). What is the 'red sauce' thing?

TheCurious0range · 05/08/2025 20:53

IcyMint · 05/08/2025 17:50

We’re a family of 4 with a cat and spend the same amount on food shopping but we buy FAGE greek yoghurt, salmon, lamb mince and so much soft fruit and berries with the food you’re describing I have no idea how you are spending as much.

If I had to cut down to £100 a week then the kids would be pissed off but it would be doable, especially for a short period of time.

Exactly the same family of 3 £800 ish for groceries but I'm but trying to budget really, that's salmon , steaks, loads of fresh fruit and veg, a DH who goes to the gym 5 times a week and is protein obsessed and a child like the very hungry Caterpillar. I do most of our shopping in Tesco and some in m&s laundry and cleaning stuff I used method or m&s. Cat eats scrumbles which is not cheap. OP you really need to look at your grocery bill.

Flopsy145 · 05/08/2025 20:54

AnxietyLevelMax · 05/08/2025 20:27

I go back after 9 months, as soon as we can get 30hrs free childcare

Just check the actual date your little one can get these hours, my son is a July baby and didn't qualify until September. It's the term after they turn 9 months, sure there's a clause in there about return to work but can't remember

willstarttomorrow · 05/08/2025 20:55

If you are spending £200 a week on food then either you throw a lot away, pay too much or have a very full pantry. I have just stocked up DC in their uni house and a £100 online shop included huge bags of pasta and rice, cupboard essential from nothing like olive oil, cooking oil, soy sauce, herbs, stock cubes, sauces, flour etc and several tins of tomato, tuna, sweetcorn, baked bean/spaghetti etc alongside huge freezer bags of things like chicken, mince, frozen chips, some frozen veg as well as some fresh food like cheese, butter and a big bag of potatoes. I also added a couple of boxes of crisps, peanut butter, chocolate spread etc and other snacks. I am hoping they supplement with some fresh stuff but there is enough there to keep them going all term. There would be more than enough in that shop to keep a family of four fed until the end of the month, just would need to add bread and some cheap veg. I used Iceland because it was the shop that could deliver on the day and they seemed to have lots of deals.

User28473 · 05/08/2025 20:56

5 baked potatoes 😂😂😂. No way can this be legit, that is obscene.

Narwhalsh · 05/08/2025 20:57

Is your husband overweight and tall or just tall? If the former he can afford to cut back a bit.

Your weekly shop does seem on the expensive side, if you aren’t already shopping in Aldi/Lidl/Asda I would suggest you start there. We are £180 for a family of 5 with one in nappies (no formula) and my DH is 6ft5 so bigger than average. He eats probably 1.5 portions max I would say. He wouldn’t sit down and eat 5 baked potatoes that does sound a bit OTT (unless they were fairly small potatoes!).

Nurseybear1 · 05/08/2025 20:57

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Findmeaplant343 · 05/08/2025 20:57

5 jacket potatoes 😂

Kittkats · 05/08/2025 20:58

So
£70 formula
£70 fuel

Buy these first, then with the £210 buy:
1 value ham joint, Asda, £8
Bag of white potatoes £2
broccoli £1.
Frozen peas £1.80
15 value eggs £3
2 packs own brand spaghetti 60p
3 tins lentils £1.50
bag grated cheese £3
2 packs value sausages £4
2 packs value bacon (Asda) £3
4 loaves bread (Lidl) £3
2 tin tomatoes (£1)
sack Asda dog food (4.50)
rice (2)
gravy (1.50)
sweet potatoes £2
carrots 30p
peanut butter (£2)
parsnips 50p
2 xcooked chicken Asda £2
3 onions £1
cheap chips (£2)
tin pineapple 50p
corned beef £2
Bag pasta £2
3 packs instant noodles £1
beans 8 tins £8

Roast the ham. Use half with potatoes and carrots for a meal.

pea and ham soup

mash potatoes with 1 packs value sausages sausage and peas.

Use spaghetti egg yolks bacon garlic and a bit of grated cheese for carbonara. Have twice!

shred some ham to mix with rice, egg, the egg whites, soy sauce and peas for another meal.

make meatballs from the second pack of sausages to have with spaghetti and tomato/ garlic. Add cheese if you want.

make this with carrots instead of butternut squash
https://www.asda.com/good-living/recipe/west-african-root-veg-and-peanut-stew?recipe_id=fb5bae35-6f49-11ef-b2d2-9708710435ba Have twice!

make this https://www.asda.com/good-living/recipe/braised-peas-lettuce-with-chicken but without lettuce

cooked chicken with carrots parsnips and mash, gravy.

ham, chips pineapple peas

egg and chips

corned beef hash, whatever veg is spare,

Pasta, veg, cheese as pasta bake

pasta tinned tomatoes garlic herbs cheese

noodles and stir fry veg, soy sauce, any spare meat

beans on toast with cheese

That leaves £150 for lunches, breakfast, fruit, milk etc. Can you tell I’ve done this before?

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