To ask the police for details about me? (TW: child SA)

[Sophiehoney]

I may have been sexually assaulted as a young child (when I was too young to remember). Someone was definitely arrested and questioned for it but I don't know if they were ever charged or found guilty. The person accused is now dead. There is noone else I can ask to be 100% sure.
Am I entitled to view police records about this? How would I go about it?
At the time, my parents used a name for me that was never my real/legal name so I can't prove it was me. I also only know the area we lived, I don't know the address.
It would have been early 1990s
I really need to know the truth. What can I do to find it?
I'm sorry this isn't a proper AIBU but I don't know anywhere else I can post that is anon and has so much traffic
TIA

Definitely try contacting the police. I had a similar situation to you & police went out of their way to be supportive & helpful. They had very little information to give me but it was in itself very validating.

You need to contact the police force in the area where the offence was committed rather than where you live now.

Just be prepared that there may be very little information available & the information may leave you with more unanswered questions so make sure you have someone to support you.

Hi @Sophiehoney, I hope you are ok. There is obviously something telling you that maybe something happened, which could be repressed.

But I just wanted to share that my child has frequent UTI issues and has been examined at the age of 3&4, makes me feel sad that they may remember this when they are order, but not remember the context!

I guess the difference is, if my child asked about their medical history I would be able to tell them, that they had frequent UTI issues.

Have you asked your mum anything?

Hi OP have you considered EMDR as a way of progressing this? I have a family member who has unearthed similar in her past but with absolutely no chance of a perpetrator or her parents ever being about to understand if she were to fully remember, she only remembers parts, so she is finding EMDR very helpful.

You absolutely do not need to explain yourself or your reasons to anyone on this thread.

I'm not sure the process or what details would be held after this time, however you have nothing to lose by contacting the police and asking for next steps.

I sincerely hope you get the answers you need.

I have huge sympathy for you. All of your reasons are excellent.

Could you try to find information on your address from the primary school you attended - maybe the LA kept a record?
If you find your address, maybe you could find the names of other adults living there from council tax records, deeds, etc?
Can you remember the name of any GP you were taken to as a child?

Have you considered finding a reputable hypnotist who might be able to guide you back carefully to access at least the home you lived in, nearby parks, intersecting roads, library, shops?

I've had therapy and it can only do so much to help you process some memories, and it doesn't answer questions you have about other peoples behaviour or motives.
To access my medical records I went directly to my GP surgery and spoke to the receptionist, they explained the process. I had to wait 2 weeks, I had an appointment with a GP and they went through them with me.
But the process has changed since I did it, you now make a subject access request, and they are probably digital.

Its possible your Mum took you for examinations because she suspected abuse. but had no proof.

I would contact the police from the area where it happened and do an SAR request make sure you let them know about the surname. They'll ask for some ID, they normally have to process it in 28 days, I'm not sure how it works with police but normally they have to redact any 3rd person information. You can also do one with SS if you think they had any involvement and you can do one with your school for your old school files if you think they had anything to do with it. It's pretty simple process and you should be able to find the forms online on their website. If not I'd just call them and ask how to do it.

When I contacted SS I had to work out which county it was and contact them, not the local office. A lot of them have digitised their records and they only go back so far. Its the same with the police. Centralised record keeping is fairly new, in the grand scheme of things.

I’m sorry you had to explain that. This was an insensitive and uninformed comment by this poster.

of course you absolutely have your reasons and have every right to explore this information about your early life.

subject access request to police would be a good place to start , plus the same to the local authority (children’s services) where you lived at the time / where the police enquiry took place. They may have record of this as children’s services should have been informed (not 100% sure of this , it depends on the date and the safeguarding processes in place at that time).

I wish you well OP. It’s a hard road but I completely understand why you are seeking these answers xx