Birthday Blues

[Jolaine]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable. We're on a family holiday and it's my son's Birthday. The family knew we were doing an activity in the morning which ran into lunchtime and my sister said she'd get 'something ready', - I did invite her to do the activity with us but she had declined because of this. So, some simple buffet food laid out I presume- nothing fancy - and our small family there. However, on return to accommodation, about 13.40, we found it locked and empty. Used spare key to get in and not long after that got a call from family to say they were just at restaurant getting a snack. So I'm there in an empty house, with Birthday kid and sibling, both tired and hungry and they say there's sandwiches and cold food in fridge. I was upset, probably more than the Birthday boy though, at family not being present and nothing on table etc, no banners, balloons- nothing- but especially, no family there. Just empty house. So, was I in the wrong to expect a little more from them?

If you were that worried about having a lunch prepared why didn't you stay back to fix that? Do you have a partner whou could have taken them to the activity while you did this?

Also why was lunch so important? Presumably birthday boy wanted to do the activity so why not plan to get lunch out once it finished?

@Moonnstars ds was hungry but more disappointed at coming back to empty house when expecting family to be present for birthday.
If someone says they are sorting lunch / 'things out' - why would I stay back to fix it? And why would I get lunch out for same reason?

Did they know what time you were due back? And "get something ready" did she actually say food? Or did she maybe mean something different and you misunderstood

I think you all could’ve been a lot clearer on who was doing what.

Yes, I would be disappointed.

Because it's your child.
Surely they weren't all going to stay in while you did an activity preparing for your child's birthday. That's what you do as a parent.
Technically they had got something ready - you say there was sandwiches in the fridge.
If you want to go all out on birthdays then you sort it. Why didn't you get up early before the children and put up a banner? Or once the child was in bed start decorating?
You seem to be moaning about others lack of effort despite putting in none yourself.

Did you supply the decorations/cake, have food ordered or was she supposed to sort that in the short time you were gone.

It all sounds really vague. From your description I would not have assumed I'd return to a buffet lunch, family and banners and balloons

I think YABU because there seems to be a massive lack of communication. If you wanted a party/buffet with family and banners etc you should have actually asked for help organising that. You seem to have put a lot of expectations on other people based on what seems like a pretty vague conversation

So you, as the parent of the birthday child, did not arrange balloons, cake or anything else?? Fine you did an activity, but no other celebration planned? Why should the responsibility be with on your sibling to provide it. I think all if you have done a shitty job of celebrating your child's birthday to be honest.

Agreed. That's probably the root of the problem!

Yeah she did say that. Wasn't really expecting a lot just food on table and mainly family to be there but evidently should have been clearer.

Exactly. It's my child so I was with them doing an activity that they wanted to do. What is your point? It was a quick activity- just over an hour.
Also where does it say anything about going all out? I hardly think a few sandwiches, crisps & balloons is going all out. And you seem to forget that my family had offered help on this occasion otherwise I'd have had no problem with doing everything myself.

LoveWine
I was with my child doing an activity that they wanted to do. I don't really get your point. Are you saying that every birthday has to be a big celebration or that is a fail? If so, I respectfully disagree.
Also where does it say that all the responsibility was with my sibling? If you read my post properly, it says that they offered help on this occasion otherwise I'd have had no problem with sorting things.

No but it was just over an hour - only a quick activity but evidently this could have been made. She did get something ready-food, yes- (which I was grateful to her for)- and it was in the fridge- but I just couldn't understand why they then went out to get something to eat!

Yeah it seems like I should have communicated intentions better. I had just thought that family would be there after making sandwiches etc and not just leave in fridge.

Yes all the stuff was there.

Well, she sorted the food out which was nice. Sounds like it’s just the balloons and banner that were missing? Are these things easy to procure in your holiday destination? Perhaps she ran out of time, as you say the activity you took your DS to was very short.

Either way, at least she made some effort. I think it’s important to remember that other people don’t care about your child’s birthday as much as you do, so if you had something in mind, either be very specific when communicating it, or sort it yourself.