DS4 just doesn’t want to play alone/with other kids

[TheHappyBiscuitB]

I don’t know if this will come off as being horrible parent but I just need to hear some other thoughts.
We have DS4.5y, only child and every time we go to the park/soft play/play dates he would just not go and happily run and play with other children. If there’s 20 kids on a soft play all running, laughing, chasing each other, climbing the slide and parents sit and chat and having a coffee DS literally would be the only kid who’s constantly shouting “Mummy,mummy!” Like I have to go and stand next to him in a ball pit or climb through a tunnel.
It’s not like a hate it or hate to play with him but come on, the whole point coming out to these places is so you can just relax a bit and watch your little ones having fun. I can’t sit one second, I can’t drink tea, I can’t chat with anyone as my DS is constantly yelling for me to go and play with him.
And.its.starting.to.get.on.my.nerves.

I always try and encourage him to go and play with other kids or explore things, I never answer NO to him harshly or angry, I say that you can go and play for a bit and mummy’s gonna sit here and you can see me from there, but he gets upset and sometimes even cries if I don’t get up and play with him constantly. I don’t want to go through the bloody tunnels for 2 whole hours too!

Any advice?

This will change when he starts school. I also had to play with my son constantly but since starting school he has learnt to entertain himself. It does get easier. I also used to tell mine that soft play is for him and I'm going to read my book but if he plays really well at the start I will play with him at the end but I won't if he keeps asking.

My eldest used to be a bit like this, I think some kids like someone to bounce ideas off when using imagination and aren't necessarily confident enough to dive straight into established games with kids they don't know.

Have you tried playing from the outside? "I'll time you to see how long it takes you to get to the top and back" I bet you can't go in and do x" "have you tried doing y on z" can you go and count the dangly bits etc" "how many seconds does it take you to go down the slide?" "Can you slither on your tummy up the ramp like a snake". Sometimes once they were in and playing they would bump into someone and join their games together, sometimes not.

I also found it helped to do any time I was prepared to do in soft play with them after my coffee/sit down rather than before. I could set a timer, and found otherwise once I was in they were reluctant to let me leave!

I've no doubt people will be along to tell you you're awful to want to sit down but like you say, that's the main draw of going to these places!help with the imagination but without going in and you can sip/chat in between setting "challenges"

My children have never ran off to play with strangers so if I was doing something like this I'd bring one of their friends or meet up with someone. I intensely hated soft play however so we hardly ever went anywhere like that!

What's it like at home? Will he go play in his room?