Someone tell me I will enjoy having a child at some point? Absolutely miserable with toddler

[Arghs100]

Title maybe a bit dramatic, obviously I love ds and there’s so many lovely, funny, amazing moments. But I took the decision to take a year off when ds was 2 (he’s now 2.5) and I am so miserable. I used to put loads of effort into the weekends as he was at nursery all week but now he’s only in 2 mornings and oh my god I feel so rubbish. Constantly stressed, can’t think straight for 90% of the day, constant crying or outbursts, lying on floors in shops after a tantrum, the constant constant constant meals and clearing up.

I know I should have expected this but I didn’t. It’s so shit. I don’t find it magical. I am cherishing it at most 10% of the time. The rest is drudgery.

I honestly can’t fathom how anyone can enjoy life like this. Ds isn’t even a difficult child, it’s often commented how chilled he is. I honestly don’t know how I would cope with a temperamental child!!!

I get lots of breaks and have supportive husband. I just feel like life is so bleak. I love alone time and I cannot think straight most of the day. It’s awful. Will it always feel like this? Is this it until he’s an adult? I’m so fed up.

Go back to work.

Being a stay at home parent isn’t for everyone.

Could you go back to work part time?

If he was previously in nursery full time maybe he is missing the structure of their day? It’s a big transition for both of you.

can you make a weekly timetable of activities? Doesn’t have to cover every minute but does give structure to the week and you can try to ensure you have some adult company as well. Keep most meals to 5 minutes of preparation and possibly also have a two weekly rotation to make it even easier.

Try, if you can to factor in some proper adult conversation and outings on a regular basis so your entire brain isn’t overwhelmed with potty training and sleep schedules. Include your DP in the daily activities when possible.

Or equally go back to work and nursery. For many it works.

It's only a year, OP, you've done half of it. Soon he'll be back in nursery and you'll have a bit of your life back and you'll miss the nice bits and forget staring at a toddler pounding the floor in Tesco's.

Do you have a structure for the day? My kids are so much better on structure - I work but I find the weeks which I take my DD3.5 out of childcare to spend with her brother on school holidays go 100% better if we follow a structure.
Snacks and lunch at set times.
Morning activity planned
Different afternoon activity planned.
Some free play time at points.
They can be simple activities at at home or bigger going out things but a plan of what is happening during the day helps the tantrums in our house.

It also helps me alot with getting through the tough days. If I have a plan for the day, it helps to know what is coming next. Last week was a tough week for me with the kids at home. Getting through it was only possible as I knew what was happening next every day. My DH hates how structured I am but its 100% worth in on those black hole days.

I love having an 8 year old. 2.5 was hard, but with cute/funny moments like you've said.
If the supermarket is always difficult do an online shop instead! My son was alright walking around but wouldn't stand in a queue for the tills so I once left a supermarket with him when I saw it was really busy.